Anna

Here is the last part:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-20.html

Ananda

i'de be excited about being first, but i'm kinda lonely.....

colagirl

Wow, part 3 already, great job guys!

Nands, here's the hug you asked for in the last thread... :ghug3 you doing okay?

Today I still feel pretty calm... I have a feeling it will be fleeting but I'm enjoying every moment of it. Don't really have much of an urge to drink tonight which is nice. The cleaning thing must be going around, I have this desire to straighten up and sweep and vaccuum and get everything in order! Very rare.

Have a fire on and the kitties are sitting in front of it. Grateful for a stable evening so far with respect to cat health issues. Hope everyone is doing well!

:ghug2

colagirl

Nands, do you know your signature is a big red x?

Ananda

no one seems to be able to help me fix it...i'm broke

be back in a few minites hug

colagirl

hmmm... I'm a technical failure... but is the image too big? Or linked from somewhere it can't read from?

Ananda

I suspect its cause its a gft file .....I'm gonna get ahold or RK eventually to help me.

How are you today? I'm so proud of you for yesteday:ghug

colagirl

Thank you! Feeling pretty good so far this evening. Thinking about doing some vaccuuming (what an exciting sober life!). How are you?

Ananda

I think this has been one of the most emotionally stressful 2 weeks of my sobriety this time around.

But the crazy stuff in my head seems to be slowly fading...it's amazing to me that you can fall off beam, and if you don't drink things continue to get better...just a bump in the road in the big picture.

colagirl

I always seem to forget about that... don't drink and you'll actually feel better. I constantly fall into the trap of instant gratification.

Glad you're starting to feel better! :ghug3

Dee74

whats a gft file nands?

D

Ananda

sorry ... it's a .gif file...like some are pdf, some are jpeg, etc.

I cant get SR to acept it as a file to upload in a signiture or to accept it as a link to photobucket....been trying for days now

And I thought i was good at this stuff...

Dee74

that's weird - I'm no good at that stuff either tho
I've had .gifs from photobucket work in my sigs - maybe it's too big, Nands?
they have limits on image sizes here

D

wibble

Hi Guys

how we all doing?

Personally i'm pretty gash, my week long "drink normally with my friend" experiment went off the rails last night. Can't remember much of the night. Know i woke up feeling awful

So thats it, I'm scrapping the experiment!!!! I'm so stupid, who am i fooling with all this nonsense.

I'm an alcoholic

Love from the slightly battered Wibble

xxx

Pixy1

:ghug your back!! I know that feeling very well. Your no more stupid than the rest of us.

So whats the plan? what are you going to do different this time? Only asking cause I don't know what to do either.

Have a good day all I'm off to work, Hi ho Hi ho Hi ho......

wibble

Hmmm plan

Interesting Idea there pixy.....


I guess my key element will be to stop being a nonce and fooling myself that I can

1. Drink normally
2. Drink socially
3. Drink full stop

I thought i'd got over that nonsense but apparently not

espresso

Nands, I posted you a reply to this on Bottoms yesterday but I don't think you have seen it. It's a small gif and I got it onto my reply to you.Have a look.

FizzyWater

Don't know that those thoughts ever leave you Wibble, at the start I thought do 90 days and they'll go away, then I thought maybe after 6 months, but no, I still get them, not as often but ................

Personally I think its a time thing, I just want to be able to race to years of sobriety but no its a long process I reckon.

Month on month it gets easier though.

wibble

What annoys me is that I walked into this situation totally aware of what I was doing.

I'm just gonna get my head down and get on with it, sick to death of tearing myself apart about it. I knew what i was doing and I fooked up. I just fell out of the weekend after drinking and then because I've got a mate staying with me there was a lot of "social" drinking.

Somehow I kept it under control until last night, but the alco came out to play last night

Big time

Compared to what i would have drunk before it was nothing, just getting warmed up really.. But I just woke up this morning and it was totally clear

Head down...get on with it...

Ananda

because i know you go to meetings wibs...i'm going to say go to a meeting and get a temporary sponsor imediately....ooops sorry...my expereince is that I did that when I hit bottom in 1985. (and yes i relapsed bigtime after that).

I got into the insanity that proceedes the first drink just this week....or justification or what ever anyone chooses to call it ....

for me it's the I don't cares...so what if I die so what if i end up in jail...

Now we each have our own form of insane thinking that leads to a drink..that just happens to be mine and as you stay sober you will discover what yours is...

so what did i do? well i didn't handle it very gracefully..lots of amends had to be made...but i'm here to save my ass not my face.

And I sat down with my sponsor/friend and we reviewed it and talked about what i could have don'e diferently (called her when it was going on..not after) as for those thoughts???? well pffft...yep it's pretty natural..it's what we do with them that counts.

what I did was utilize the support system I have to the best of my ability at the time.

I guess...pray for a burning bush...but fight this disease like hell while you wait for the answer.

sorry so long winded...please please please keep trying and keep coming back.
:ghug