Ananda

Last year christmas was such a mindblowing but joyful time for me and the contrast with this year is just devastating...Last year I slid through with no problems at all..but this year it seems like a real disaster waiting to happen unless I do something proactive soon....

I'm stuck with the trip home and I guess I just assume my freind connie will watch the dogs overnight christmas eve/christmas morning. I won't leave for home till around noon on christmas eve day, we do the present thing on that evening....I may want to drink, but I really don't see it happening....then I'll head home as soon as lunch is over on Christmas day....

Then I think the trouble will all come to a head...See I will be all set up with anger at the kids, lonelyness about the holiday...ghost of last years christmas and all that....and go back home to the perfect time to become a hermit...

It's like I'm planning the drunk already...and on top of that I found myself thinking through the concequenses of drinking...death...no biggy...jail for DUI...would simplify my life a great deal....jeeeez...I gotta do something different quick...guess I'll have to call my sponsor for a long talk tonight...and if she isn't available I think I may just fire her and find someone who is willing to be there for me when I get this far down.....

TMI.....I have no self control at the moment.

lostbutterfly

((nands)) I'm thinking of you hun!

Pixy - new years with Scottish folks - you'll have to ask Fizzy on how to survive that. It will be his first Hogmanay too.

Night my luvleys. I hope you find some peace and serenity tonight.

Pixy1

Nands I feel usless at the min. It's good that you see there is problems ahead but I don't want you to think that the final outcome is to pick up! Because no doubt the step after that is death. Yes very dramatic I know but sadly it's the truth in the end.

I'm a fine one to talk I know.

Your doing just fine, get back to meetings and reach out! Easy does it x

Pixy1

:ghug3 LB hope you feel better, sweet dreams

FizzyWater

For my first sober New Year I'm off to Ireland !!!!!!!!!

Funny, New Year was often the time I drank the least !!!!!!!

Ananda

Ireland sounds a bit dangerous fizzy.....no bar hopping I hope



I believe you are the one on the right..this picture was taken before you met your wife and got your first kiss....

FizzyWater

Yea right Nands, cos Scotland is full of sober pillars of society !!!!!!!!!!

more like out of the frying pan ...............................

Pixy1

Ireland

Lol lets face it, it doesn't matter where we are, if we are going to drink we will no matter where we are.

Ananda

Yeah...I was considering joining a nunery....despite the fact that I'm not exactly catholic....then I met a nun in AA...guess that doesn't work so well

lostbutterfly

Darn, there goes plan B!

Ireland - that's even worse! Half our AA meetings are full of Irish folk and we're in Hertfordshire!!!!

wibble

Alright people, just thought i'd check in and say hi. Got my best friend staying with me this week so i'm not around as much as normal. Hope you guys are doing well.

Pixy1

Morning all, how are you all on this bright and frosty morning?

Hey wibbs, Thanks for dropping by. It is just not the same here without you.

Off to work in a min, I'll be back tonight. Have a good day, Pixy

lostbutterfly

Hi Pixy. Welllll, hellooooo Wibble.

I've been completely thrown by the new SR look. It's lovely, but it's change! And no-one consulted me!

Ananda

Aw...change is good right????

however I now have to scroll right and left cause it won't fit on my screen...you know us old folks have to have the screen resolution set high to see...have to back it down a little...

Ananda

Thanks to all of you for being so patient and tolerant last the last few days. I hope someday I can help each of you through a rough time.

I just know that had I drank...the world would have seemed a darker place today. I think last night was just one of those Dark Night of the Soul things....cleared away some of the rubbish in my head to make room for the growth I must have in my life in order to stay sober right along with the rest of you.

Have a good day today guys...I'll pop in and out....

(time zones still suck!):ghug

lostbutterfly

Good to see you nands. Glad you didn't drink. Drinking sux!

Ananda

yep....and the insanity that procedes the first drink is pretty ugly too

I guess I've learned again...if you hang on through that insantiy, don't drink, you will come out the other side and learn something that really matters in the process...

As a freind said to me last night...it isn't all sunshine and roses in sobriety, but it is well worth the trip.

wibs has friends???? who ah thunk it

just kidding wibs...have a good time...we are sober today and need to enjoy our lives to the fullest.

Pixy1

Hi guys just a quick drop in. I have just got back from work and off down the stables now. I really don't know where the days go, I never seem to get any proper time on here.

New look is lovely but being a tad Dyslexic it's very red and not easy on the eye.

It's beginning to feel like Christmas it's the frosty mornings and evenings that do it.

I'll be back here in little while, how are you all? It's soooooooooooooo quiet again today.

lostbutterfly

I'm off to see my daughter's play. Still feel horrible, but I must go. See you tomorrow probably. I'm going to crawl into bed as soon as I can!

Ananda

hi pixy! glad to see you....I'm at lunch, and I'll pop in a few times this afternoon, but won't get back on for "quality time" till 10:00 your time....

So, today is the first day of the rest of my life sober....I will be hearing a dear friend share her story tonight at a meeting, then I will meet with my sponsor to help me figure out what actions I need to take to change...

You know skating on the edge is not a very nice place to be.

LB....when is that play you're going to be in? We wanta send out some critics to get a reivew

Pixie...you can get rid of the christmas stuff....even though it's pretty and all and go back to "blue"...go down to the bottom of the page and change the ??style?? from default to blue...I think.

Later guys and stay focused on sobriety