November77

Yeah this is the toughest thing I have ever had to do. Most of my friends drink and so it's going to be a big change for me. I just love the high I get off of it. But, if I have more than 3 drinks I get moody and just plain mean.

Is anyone else struggling with this? I mean what if I fail?

BSlick

This is day 4.5 for me. So far so good. Going to see the doctor this afternoon. Everything seems fogy.

espresso

To Everyone: Thank You button

allport

Id like to echo espressos thankyou. You are all so cool. Coming up to the end of day 13 for me and i didnt make it to my aa meeting, its so cold outside and im so tired and achy i couldnt face getting off the sofa. It might be a feeble excuse but im practising a bit of self love today. I am so tired, im not sure if its the withdrawal or the remains of my cold but im wiped out. So ive treated my self with a pyjama day, ive had a lovely long bath, some really tasty food and now im watching tv under my duvet, sometimes doing nothing is the best thing you can do. X

November77

Hi Allport,

I did that yesterday after getting home from work. I was so tired and it was so cold out too. I just kicked back on my couch, took a nap and watched some tv. I think it might be the withdrawl. It's only been 3 days for me. And it has been so tough.

I actually went to the book store today and bought a couple of books on alcoholism, one was the blue book and the other one was for women called "loaded" I don't have the name of the author in front of me right now. But, I just thought what the heck. I also bought a couple of fun things, a water color set and this other set where you paint glass. I hope it helps. I need something else to focus on besides getting a buzz from alcohol.

allport

The first time i did a successful detox i bought myself a cross stitch kit, id never done it before and i really just wanted something to keep me busy, being stupid i bought an advanced kit and it took me two years to complete it. I cant even look at it now but for those first few months it really took my mind off drinking, so i think hobbies can help but i wouldnt advise cross stitch. lol

November77

Hi Mariposa18,

I know what you mean about sleep. I'm still anxious and I'm still tossing and turning. But last night I went right to sleep but woke up in the middle of the night with the toss and turns.

I keep hearing that it will get better with time. It seems like forever. It's only been 3 days for me.

November77

At first I didn't believe that alcholism was a disease but a lack of will power on my part. I found out that this is not the case. I have heard that if other family members are drinkers that most likely you will become one. I have a strong family history of alcoholism. My Mom and Dad, grandparents and aunts all heavy drinkers. Oh, I forgot, so is my brother.

So anyone else think this is a disease also?

Mariposa18

November~ I also hear the sleep will continue to get better. I hope since today I've been up since 645am and have been active that I will tire myself out enough to get a good nights rest. I toss and turn a lot as well but the worst part is the bad dreams. They are SO VIVID! All my dreams are like that, good when they are good but when they are nightmares? I swear they rival Freddy Krueger!

I also believe that Alcoholism is a disease. My Mom has told me that my Grandfather was an alcoholic ( I say was because once he quit he never picked it back up, not because he's not around) My Uncle (Dad's Brother) died this year because of alcohol related problems and even when he came out of the hospital he wouldn't give up the drinking. So I have it coming from both sides.

I don't think that makes us drink, but I do think that once that part of us is triggered, it's incredibly hard to resist. To know when to stop and when it's become an addiction as opposed to something we do socially. I don't think my Family history made me an alcoholic, however everyone in my Family drinks. It was never off limits to me or forbidden in any way. My parents would allow me sips of beer if I wanted them, even as young as 10 years old.

November, now you really got me thinking...

CarolD

I'm sooo glad to see y'all moving forward

Yes! we can continue to win!

Welcome to SR....
BSlick...:
Nevember...

Disease? I follow the CDC and AMA conclusions
that it is a disease...progressive ..chronic... fatal.

Reading the 2nd sticky post in our Alcoholism Forum
might provide our newer members insight.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

Blessings to all

Mariposa18

CarolD~ I just read through that thread and this part of a post by GreenTea hit it right on the head for me : "I think that social factors started me drinking, but that once I did chose to start, then genetic factors kicked in and kept me drinking, and drinking more and more despite any social feedback to the contrary" That's what I was trying to say but couldn't seem to find eloquent enough words to say it!

I'm thanking God right now that I found this place. I no longer feel alone and out of control, but on my way to a better me who doesn't need alcohol to feel good or to deal with her problems.

grrrr

Hi All!
Thanks Carol for posting the link to that sticky. After I first read that, I went and bought the book. I found it very helpful and would recommend it to everyone. I know that folks have talked about the updated "Beyond the Influence" being good as well.

I was amazed at how little energy I had the first couple weeks without alcohol. I could really relate to the section in the book that talked about how alcohol would have the effect of waking up an alcoholic. I realized that I was more physically addicted than I had thought. I started taking more vitamins and making sure I was eating well. At 32 days I feel completely different and have my energy back. I am sure the timing is different for everyone. Understanding that I have a disease that I can't change helps me make the choice not to drink. Go vitamins and education!!

grrrr

Mariposa, that is awesome. I feel the same way about SR. Glad you are here too!

BrixtonBear

Wow! I've just checked in here this morning, and there is so much great encouragement here. Thanks everyone for your posts, which are really helping me not to pick up today!

Into day 4. Just as an explorer might keep a travel diary of their adventures, I've decided to keep a diary of my adventures into sobriety.

Each night I write down any tips or inspiring thoughts I've learned from my new sober friends in AA and SR in a brand new notebook I bought especially.

I'm hoping it will help me to stay focused on my recovery, and help me to see that sobriety can be a great adventure!

Thanks for all the good things I'm learning here.
PB

allport

Hi everyone its day 14 for me and although i thought id feel triumphant i dont, i havent had any real cravings so i dont know how im going to react when i do. Im still pretty pleased as i think this is the longest i been sober for at least a year! Not quite ready to leave this thread yet but what is the next step? Good luck to everyone and have a lovely day. X

Mariposa18

Good Morning Everyone~

Paddington~ I like the idea of a notebook. I've been using my food journal to write down everything (food, exercise,thoughts! lol) I should probably have separate journals for that, huh? =)

Allport~ Congrats on the 14 days! Every day is a victory, even on days we don't feel it =)

I'm on Day 8 today~ Last Friday was my first day sober so I've officially got a week under my belt. Starting to sleep a little better, l actually fell asleep pretty fast last night, woke up twice in the middle of the night but fell right back asleep. I was waking up 5-6 times at first and not able to sleep again so I'll take the 2 times! lol

One thing I'm worried about, I"m sure it will sound silly but it's a worry I have. I've lost 30lbs since April and I've already gained 5 back. When I started drinking heavily the past few months not only did I stop working out but I started eating badly again. I'm the kind of person than I either drown my feelings in alcohol, or stuff them back with food. Back in April when I began working out I was still drinking and smoking weed. I stopped smoking, kept drinking, then my workouts and healthy eating fell to the side.

I guess my point is I don't want to fall back to the food trap, because that's not healthy for me either. Anyone feeling like this? It's like I'm not super hungry but when I am I rationalize what to eat by thinking I should have what I want because being sober is enough of a challenge right now...that's just an excuse to overeat and still not deal, isn't it? =(

espresso

November77

Hi paddington Bear, I know what you're going through. It's been 4 days for me too. I just gotta keep moving forward. We'll make it. Just gotta take one step at a time. Are you attending any AA? I find this is really a big help for me so far.

BrixtonBear

Hi everyone

Congratulations Allport on your 14 days! Brilliant!

Hi Mariposa, I often feel the same way - sometimes when I get home from work, and I can't have a drink, I think to myself that it's an excuse to eat lots of crisps and things like that. But I know that eating healthily is also important for my recovery, so I am trying to eat lots of fruit and vegetables, but it is a real challenge for me. Well done on your 8 days!

Hi November77 - well done on your 4 days. It's great that we're at the same spot! I am attending AA. I don't have a sponsor at the moment (not since I relapsed so badly for several months between June and October), but I am attending meetings again. I've never picked up on a day when I attended a meeting, so that's an incentive for me to keep attending!

Great job everybody. Have a good weekend everyone!
PB

November77

PB, I know what you mean. My first time around with AA was in April and I didn't go for very long. I thought that I could drink in moderation. At first, I was only drinking on the weekends, then I started drinking everyday. After work I would either go to the bar with friends, or drop by the liquor store and pick up a bottle and take it home. Even though I knew I had a problem, I got to the point where I just didn't really care anymore. I thought that it was the American way. Everyone and anyone I know drinks. I would read articles on how good wine was for the heart. But drinking more than one glass a day was probably not doing mine much good. I made a lot of excuses for why I drank. I had a bad day at work so therefore I need a drink, or I was having anxiety so I should drink to numb it. I couldn't get away from it. And in fact, I really didn't want to. I'm still struggling with this, but I realize that I am indeed powerless over alcohol. I guess since I realize this maybe I still have a chance. I am hopeful that I will not relapse this time around. I just know that I will not drink today, but I don't know about tomorrow.