30 Days and Under Part 2
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 753
Lucky 13. Have to write this down - just found this thread. Writing it down is an affirmation - 13 days no drinking and just so so grateful for these forums - any time day or night there is inspiration and support. WE ARE SO LUCKY.
Thank you everyone of you for being part of this great network of sharing. I need it bad!
Thank you everyone of you for being part of this great network of sharing. I need it bad!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The Mountains
Posts: 166
Halfway through day 16, I finally had the feeling that my head was clearing up and that I was happy not to be smoking dope anymore and happier even to really be feeling like I don't want to - even though the cravings come up. I am finally reaping the reward of abstaining for the sake of abstaining.
Yesterday I was very depressed because it was grey out. I had written a friend telling him I quit weed. I got an email back yesterday (7 days later) with him telling me what great medicine it is for his SAD symptoms and how it helps him get in touch with his own energy as opposed to that of the world's and how he is the only one he knows who has managed to move his use from chronic to casual.
In the mood that I was in, this sent me into this spiral of thinking that maybe i have the "no weed" thing all wrong, but then I went to a LifeRing meeting and realized that I could actually hear myself talk - as in my voice finally feels connected to my body and my words are coming out clear as a bell.
I woke up still depressed since the wreckage of my not-so-great 42 year-old life is still here to be salvaged, but my hope lies in the fact that I am clean and because I am clean, I probably have a fighting chance at least to clean this mess up and make a life for myself that I can actually live and be at peace in.
I am so proud of myself!! I feel sorry for my friend who is in still so much denial. He has two little kids and he is still selling hash and has been busted a few times already - got out of a major thing and had three smaller incidences.
I am no longer envious of those who can "handle" marijuana.
Yesterday I was very depressed because it was grey out. I had written a friend telling him I quit weed. I got an email back yesterday (7 days later) with him telling me what great medicine it is for his SAD symptoms and how it helps him get in touch with his own energy as opposed to that of the world's and how he is the only one he knows who has managed to move his use from chronic to casual.
In the mood that I was in, this sent me into this spiral of thinking that maybe i have the "no weed" thing all wrong, but then I went to a LifeRing meeting and realized that I could actually hear myself talk - as in my voice finally feels connected to my body and my words are coming out clear as a bell.
I woke up still depressed since the wreckage of my not-so-great 42 year-old life is still here to be salvaged, but my hope lies in the fact that I am clean and because I am clean, I probably have a fighting chance at least to clean this mess up and make a life for myself that I can actually live and be at peace in.
I am so proud of myself!! I feel sorry for my friend who is in still so much denial. He has two little kids and he is still selling hash and has been busted a few times already - got out of a major thing and had three smaller incidences.
I am no longer envious of those who can "handle" marijuana.
Last edited by CatWings; 11-22-2008 at 12:05 AM.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: north yorkshire, england
Posts: 1,891
Hi day 15 for me today so i thought id check in with the 30 day crowd since that is my next milestone, ive never really taken much notice of how many days i had before and i think once ive got a bit more time i will let it go, but im doing so well counting the days at the moment that im going to go with the saying if its aint broke dont fix it. Weekends are normally a bad time for me (and everyone else i assume) but im going to do my best to make this one enjoyable. Take care everyone. X
being me
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 252
Hi Kindbird - congrats on your 13 days, or I guess 14 today! 2 Weeks, yay!
Catwings - I am so happy for you! I can relate to a lot of the things that you are going through. It seems like you are doing a great job of analyzing the world around you for what it is and not wanting to go back to the fuzzy using world. Don't be too hard on yourself about where you are now. Or too aggressive about where you want to be in the future. Perhaps think about some small, achievable, but concrete short term goals to work towards (like sobriety
). Set yourself up for success now, and don't worry about the past. You sound great despite the grey day, thanks for sharing!
Hi allport - Good to see you here. I agree that counting days will some day not be as important, but I sure felt good to get through 2 weeks and it will probably take a good few more of those before I am done counting!
Espresso - I love your thank you posts. I miss that button too!!!!
Catwings - I am so happy for you! I can relate to a lot of the things that you are going through. It seems like you are doing a great job of analyzing the world around you for what it is and not wanting to go back to the fuzzy using world. Don't be too hard on yourself about where you are now. Or too aggressive about where you want to be in the future. Perhaps think about some small, achievable, but concrete short term goals to work towards (like sobriety
). Set yourself up for success now, and don't worry about the past. You sound great despite the grey day, thanks for sharing!Hi allport - Good to see you here. I agree that counting days will some day not be as important, but I sure felt good to get through 2 weeks and it will probably take a good few more of those before I am done counting!
Espresso - I love your thank you posts. I miss that button too!!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 753
Day 15 and just love that I can now count in weeks "I am in week 3" - yes. Looking forward to "I am in month 3" and "I am in year 3". I never thought I would say that - looking forward to NOT drinking after all those years of looking foward TO drinking. I love what I look forward to now - sleep, morning coffee, reading with a clear head, combing my dog... the simplest things feel more full. I am very grateful for this group to share with. Thank you for being here!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The Mountains
Posts: 166
grrrr - thank you so much for that helpful advice. I copied and pasted it into my daily inspiration log I keep for myself here. progress not perfection. rome was not built in a day and all that, but it can be built one brick or whatever it was built with little by little.
kindbird - I love that I am now in week three too! isn't that great? it's almost like feeling like a little kid again. the world is full of new wonders and old.
kindbird - I love that I am now in week three too! isn't that great? it's almost like feeling like a little kid again. the world is full of new wonders and old.
being me
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 252
Espresso - Wow, maybe we don't need the thank you button, that is great!
Kindbird - I have really enjoyed counting the weeks as well. 5 weeks today for me! I am trying not to get too ahead of myself, but I too long for the big milestones. One day at a time and we will get there.
Catwings - That is awesome! We can all build our own Romes at our own pace. I am down with that.
Going to breakfast with a new friend this morning. I have recently met some different women to hang out with which is so exciting. I am a woman in a male-dominated profession and have always had a hard time meeting girlfriends. It is great to start these relationships in a non-drinking stage and form the activities we do together with that foundation.
Have a good Sunday folks! Almost time for.... :thank5 Can't wait!!
Kindbird - I have really enjoyed counting the weeks as well. 5 weeks today for me! I am trying not to get too ahead of myself, but I too long for the big milestones. One day at a time and we will get there.
Catwings - That is awesome! We can all build our own Romes at our own pace.
I am down with that.Going to breakfast with a new friend this morning. I have recently met some different women to hang out with which is so exciting. I am a woman in a male-dominated profession and have always had a hard time meeting girlfriends. It is great to start these relationships in a non-drinking stage and form the activities we do together with that foundation.
Have a good Sunday folks! Almost time for.... :thank5 Can't wait!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: north yorkshire, england
Posts: 1,891
Day 16 today and although ive had a good week and am feeling ok, im feeling a bit lonely, im spending all day in the house and only communicating via phone and modem. I envy grrr for having made new friends because thats what i need to do, but you know i think ill have to go out of the house to do that. lol Im planning to get out and about next week just to remind myself im still a part of the human race. x
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The Mountains
Posts: 166
allport - are there any support meetings or groups you can go to? good job on day 16!
I feel like my whole life is changing or is about to and I tend to be resourceful so I know it is going to be an adventure finding different things to do and meeting new folks, but there really are LOTS of options out there.
I feel like my whole life is changing or is about to and I tend to be resourceful so I know it is going to be an adventure finding different things to do and meeting new folks, but there really are LOTS of options out there.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: north yorkshire, england
Posts: 1,891
Thanks Catwings, i do go to a support group and a couple of aa meetings a week and they are great.
Id like to be able to form relationships outside of those in recovery because although my sobriety is the most important thing in my world at the moment i dont want it to be the only thing in my world.
I have isolated myself to the extent that not only do i have no friends i have no real interests and no idea about how to interact with people.
On the bright side at least now i want to and i will give it a go. X
Id like to be able to form relationships outside of those in recovery because although my sobriety is the most important thing in my world at the moment i dont want it to be the only thing in my world.
I have isolated myself to the extent that not only do i have no friends i have no real interests and no idea about how to interact with people.
On the bright side at least now i want to and i will give it a go. X
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The Mountains
Posts: 166
Hello again, Allport. Like yourself, my sobriety is the most important thing to me and I need to remember that. I feel like I am in such a hurry sometimes to fix everything that my addictions ruined for me in a way.
I tend to be a isolator, myself. I spend more time by myself than around other people.
One of the things that helps me is to take classes to learn fun things. I took a drum class and some of the folks get together to do other things at times. I take a hula hoop class and that has forged a couple of budding friendships.
I also need to find more contacts for the art that I do that is away from all the party people artists I know. So I have found a few groups through meetup.com.
They have this in the UK as well. Not sure how active it is there, but it could be a place to start. Put in your country and type in an interest and see if anything comes up.
I took up African hand drumming and that is also a healing activity. Something to think about. There are always drum circles everywhere it seems.
I tend to be a isolator, myself. I spend more time by myself than around other people.
One of the things that helps me is to take classes to learn fun things. I took a drum class and some of the folks get together to do other things at times. I take a hula hoop class and that has forged a couple of budding friendships.
I also need to find more contacts for the art that I do that is away from all the party people artists I know. So I have found a few groups through meetup.com.
They have this in the UK as well. Not sure how active it is there, but it could be a place to start. Put in your country and type in an interest and see if anything comes up.
I took up African hand drumming and that is also a healing activity. Something to think about. There are always drum circles everywhere it seems.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The Mountains
Posts: 166
Another thing I am doing is seeking out meditation groups. I am going to one tonight. I am finding that meditation is opening up my mind a little more to break through some barriers I've been holding onto mentally for a long damn time. But you have inspired me to sit down and write out on a piece of paper all the options I think I can come up with for meeting some nice people and forming a new social life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: north yorkshire, england
Posts: 1,891
Thankyou, some great ideas there, ive always been a bit afraid to try new things but whats the worst thing could happen! Ill give meetup a try, sounds interesting, although ill have to come up with an interest first. lol
being me
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 252
I agree, great ideas Catwings. I have met many new people through meetup.com and have been looking for more groups to join on there. I recently joined a theatre group and have met some cool people in a book club. It is a great way to get out and do things in my city while meeting people with similar interests.
Allport, I would highly recommend it. The folks are all very nice and approachable. Everyone is there to have a good time and meet new people. Hope you find some cool groups near you!
Allport, I would highly recommend it. The folks are all very nice and approachable. Everyone is there to have a good time and meet new people. Hope you find some cool groups near you!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: north yorkshire, england
Posts: 1,891
Well its Monday morning 7am and ive been up for a couple of hours already, I dont really mind, I might not be getting 8 hours of sleep but the quality is so much better than it used to be.
Im feeling optimistic today thanks in part to the posts from this thread, im going to try and find a group to join, I want to find something ive never done before and give it a go.
Day 17 and its onwards and upwards for me (I hope).:bounce
Im feeling optimistic today thanks in part to the posts from this thread, im going to try and find a group to join, I want to find something ive never done before and give it a go.
Day 17 and its onwards and upwards for me (I hope).:bounce
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 753
Good day 17 so far. This weekend I realized that drinking was a hiding place for me - hiding from some very simple things like house cleaning and some very deep things like my own mortality. Not hiding is new, and overwhelming but I want to occupy this space now - the space of seeing the world from sober eyes. WHEW. I did not know I was hiding. The joys are bigger too - I feel them more keenly.
Had two times this weekend where people around me had something to drink and I did not - a few friends had beers and my husband had a glass of wine with dinner. I truly did not want to join in (I know that for me it is not one glass of wine or one beer and I just don't even want to go down the road of thinking that it might be "only one"). Before quitting this time I had tried so many times to quit or moderate - something seems to be working this time and one big part is that I am not saying "I'll quit for 30 days" or "I'll take a break".. instead I am saying "I have stopped drinking". That last phrase was hard to write!
Thank you to this forum for the support to get this far!
Had two times this weekend where people around me had something to drink and I did not - a few friends had beers and my husband had a glass of wine with dinner. I truly did not want to join in (I know that for me it is not one glass of wine or one beer and I just don't even want to go down the road of thinking that it might be "only one"). Before quitting this time I had tried so many times to quit or moderate - something seems to be working this time and one big part is that I am not saying "I'll quit for 30 days" or "I'll take a break".. instead I am saying "I have stopped drinking". That last phrase was hard to write!
Thank you to this forum for the support to get this far!
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: midwest
Posts: 231
day 16
Day 16 for me, I guess I graduated from the 2 weeks and under thread. This is the first time in more than a year and a half that I have made it more than 2 weeks without drinking. yeah! Thanks for all the support and I support all of you also!!:ghug3
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