justforme

Morning all...

29 days sober for me today... yikes!

Feeling pretty down today. Not going to try to analyze why, just going to feel it and focus on doing the best that I can for today. Don't have much energy to write today, but I hope you all are having a great Monday.

shanman422

justforme... i'm so glad that you said that. Anytime that I have been in a funk or not happy I always try to figure out why. I have to remind myself that I'm human and going to have super happy days and super down days. Before I always thought on my down days it was because I drank too much the day before, or I was feeling guilty about something to do with drinking. Now that I'm not drinking I guess I thought I would be up and up all the time. But as you said... When I am down I need not analyze why, just focus on doing the best that I possibly can for the day... tomorrow is a new day, and another sober day bites the dust!

mtnmagic

Hey Shanman grrrr and justforme - Super congratulations on 29 days.
I hope your day today went well.

grrrr

Hi All, had a good day 29. I even drug myself down to the gym and walked on the treadmill tonight. Yay!

Hope everyone is having a nice night!

Anna

You guys are all doing great and it's very cool to see you all supporting each other.

Try to keep things in balance and don't push yourselves too hard.

espresso

Thanks Anna cos I have no Thanks Button to press...and no smiley to add!!! LOL
and Thanks to everyone here for their posts...Keep Posting Guys!!

shanman422

CONGRATULATIONS to grrr, PB and justforme, today is 30 days sober for us!

I do feel like it's getting easier with each passing day, but we are not in the clear as our addictive minds remind us. Let's keep working together and continue on this wonderful path of/to recovery! I'm so so glad to have you all here with me going through the exact same thing as I am, just knowing that I am not alone in this helps out tremendously!

justforme

Thanks shanman!

Congrats to us on 30 days is right! I am proud of you all - and hey, i'm proud of me too!

I think coming upon the 30 day mark was starting to get to me a little bit. Someone reminded me that it was just another day, and I know this logically... but I just think that it was starting to play with my head a little bit if that makes sense. But I did it, I made it to 30 days and I am so glad I did. I am very excited to get my 30 day medallion tomorrow!!!

Today is just another day, but it's another day that I will stay sober. I am very happy to say that!

grrrr

Yay! Happy 30 days folks! Very glad to be making this journey with y'all! I am also very proud of us!

It has been getting easier, but I agree with shanman that the addict voice hasn't and probably never does go away. Let's keep on posting and moving forward.

mtnmagic

justforme, Shanman and grrrr - I am so happy for you all. It's an
honor to take this journey through our early recovering days together.
I don't know if that addicted voice ever goes away.:chatter
Prolly not, but it is sure easier knowing that I have company in dealing with it. Feels nice that we all immediately understand when we share what we are
going through. I guess we aren't as nuts as we thought. LOL.
:ghug2

BrixtonBear

Congratulations Shanman, Grrrr and Justforme on 30 days!!! Way to go!!!

mtnmagic

Hey Paddy Bear - So good to see you here. How ya doing today?
Hope you are being gentle and kind with yourself. Any beating up
on yourself is not allowed, ok? Have a good day today. You are
a special person.

BrixtonBear

Thanks Mtnmagic. You're wonderful!

CatWings

I am on day 13 of no weed. This is the longest I have gone in a year and a half. It is not easy at all and I feel really lost in some weird way and kind of depressed - like maybe I lost a friend or something - but I am glad it is more authentic. It's just not easy to start seeing some things with a cleaner, clearer view. At times it feels good and then at other times, not so good. This site is one of the things keeping me going - just knowing that there is a good reason so many of us are here trying to quit one thing or another. When I start thinking I can't do it and it's not worth it, I try to remember why I am here and so many others are. If being an addict, etc. was the better way, no one would be here trying so hard and having hope that there has to be a better way.

Cat

grrrr

Thanks PB! You have been a big help in supporting me here. I know you mentioned feeling a little overwhelmed right now, but I am confident you will start feeling better soon as you continue on down the sober path.

Thanks Mtnmagic! - This site definitely helps me realize I am not as nuts as I thought I was! Or at least, that there are lots of other really good nuts out there to share this world with. lol I don't want to be "normal" I just want to be me! The real me!

Catwings - It is very true that there are lots of people here wanting to change because life is better without substances. We relate to each other in so many ways and I find sharing feelings and experiences key to my recovery.

I myself became extremely tired of fighting an internal battle. I knew I didn't want to smoke or drink so much, but I kept convincing myself it was ok. But it wasn't, I knew it, and the internal battle never ended. Then, I finally gave up and admitted I was powerless over the addictions. I wanted that healthy life I kept dreaming about. Every day that I am not fighting that battle is absolutely worth it to me. Even on the tough days, I now know what side of that battle I am going to take. The addict voice may never shut up, but I can choose not to listen.

thanks for letting me ramble this evening. Time to say goodnight to day 30.

K

justforme

grrrr, thanks for your post. i can definitely relate to what you wrote. every day that i remain sober is a great day, even if it's a tough one. and you're right, i still get the urge and the addict whisper... but i just don't even listen to it - it's not an option. sometimes it takes all day to go away, sometimes it is gone in a few minutes. what keeps me going is knowing that eventually, it always gets better. always! this has never failed me.

31 days for me today. really living odaat... it's not always easy but it's working. really, really excited to get my 30 day medallion today and share that with my aa group. it really means a lot to me, and i am so thankful that i have made it this far. it has been a tough journey and i have a long way to go, but life is pretty damn good.

i hope you all have a wonderful wednesday!

mtnmagic

justforme - That is great that you got your thirty day chip today. What an incredible accomplishment. Thanks for the reminder that drinking is not an option. It isn't. That little addict whispered on and off today and it was so empowering not to listen or act upon it. Have a restful night and I look forward to another day of this journey with you tomorrow.

grrrr - I so relate to what you said here in your post. So here's to both of
us finding out exactly who we are. The real us! Sweet dreams.

CatsWings - Another post that I find myself nodding my head as I read.
Grief, maybe that is what we are going through here. Plain grief at giving
up something that once worked and we have known for a long, long time
has not, yet we still tried to make it work. Like the worst relationship in the world, but still so sad when you let go. Dunno, I'm rambling here, so I'll leave it at that.

Good night to everybody. See you tomorrow.

grrrr

Hi all! I have definitely heard letting go of our drugs or alcohol will have some kind of a grieving or loss feeling. I know that I felt that way in the first few days and was lamenting how I hadn't visited XX pub with my mom, and how I wouldnt get to have the taste of that drink again, etc. etc. I have tried to balance it out with the things I won't miss, like waking up with strange bruises from running into things or rushing to my phone to see what stupid text messages I sent. It is a good reminder though, because we have lost a friend/companion/whatever even though it was a bad relationship like mtn said.

Glad y'all can relate to what I am going through. Sharing with you all gives me so much strength and confidence. Justforme - you are so right - drinking is not an option period! I had a bad dream last night that my mom had done something to really hurt my feelings and in the dream I thought about going to get drunk because of it. I was going to, but then my rational head kicked in and I said no, nothing is reason to lose this sober time. Even my subconscious seems to be getting with the program!!

Take care everyone!

CatWings

Good for you grrrr. When I think of not getting the pleasure of tasting good marijuana again, I just try to think of how many times I already have. Been there, done that sort of thinking. And I think as you go along, that feeling will become less and less of an issue.

grrrr

Hi Catwings, that is a good way of looking at it. I have been applying it to alcohol. If I think I miss drinking at all, I think that I have had enough good times with it and tastes of those drinks. That inevitably leads me to thinking about all the bad times I have had as well, which really makes me feel like staying away.
With smoking, I am just so glad to have my control back. I don't miss constantly smoking at all. As I drive to work in the morning, I often think that I am so glad not be stoned at that moment. Living 24/7 in a MJ cloud for 13 years or so was enough for me. It hope to feel the same way about alcohol in time.

TGIF everyone!