justforme

Shanman, hope you had a fun night with your friend! i get to see my best friend and her baby tonight (they just got in from out of state) and i can't wait to see them!!

mtn, thanks for saving me a seat!! you sound very positive, that's great. i know what you mean though - things are going better for me too but i also know that i have a long way to go. it's a little dauting to think of it that way, so odaat!

grrrr, i love hot cider! way to go on the tea pot!

deerwalk, remember H.A.L.T. when you get those urges. That seems to help me out a lot... never let yourself get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired! nice to see you on this thread!

i had a really great day yesterday. i got my 30 medallion and it felt wonderful! i didn't think i could make it to even 2 weeks so it was pretty amazing.

also, i noticed my sugar craving has finally passed. i'm really glad that i allowed myself to indulge knowing that it would eventually go away, and it did!

i have just been so stinkin tired this week, not sure what is going on with me. i have been getting plenty of sleep, just can't seem to get enough! probably has something to do with the weather but i wish i had a little more energy!

i hope you all have a great thursday,

grrrr

Hi Everyone!
I have been feeling so happy this week. Glad to have my teaching work done and focusing on taking care of me. Not much cravings at all and really feeling good about being clean. I do appreciate the reminders of HALT though, and take good care to feed myself especially. It was funny, I stayed up really late to finish my book on Tuesday night and was feeling a little guilty. But I told myself, gosh, if drinking hot cocoa and finishing a book until 2am is the wild and crazy thing I feel like doing now, indulging does not seem horrible!

Ross - Really good to see you post again, I wondered how you were doing. Glad you are finding SR as helpful as the rest of us do!

Shanman - I love how your posts often include plans to see friends and get out in the world. It's like I can feel how happy you are to be fully present in those moments and sharing with others.

Justforme - yay! we are moving threads again. Congrats on your 30 day medallion! I can relate to feeling like 2 weeks was daunting and here we are at a month! That is awesome that your sugar craving is gone. Those little things make me feel like my body really is making progress. Seeing results is so encouraging.

Mtnmagic - Way to get through your days off! I know you posted about how hard those times were for you. Broadening your horizons, I like that one. I feel like my whole life is broadening. When we are focused on our chemical emotions the choices we have are so narrow.

Have a good day everyone.

K

justforme

Heard this song for the first time today, and could really relate to the lyrics. Just thought I would share.

Sober, by Pink
I don’t wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never wants to be alone
I don’t wanna be that call at 4 o’clock in the morning
‘Cos I’m the only one you know in the world that won’t be home

Uuuhh, the sun is blinding
Uhhhh, I stayed up again
Oohh, I am finding
That’s not the way I want my story to end

I’m safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party’s over?
No pain
Inside
You’re my protection
How do I feel this good sober?

I don’t wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence
Cryin scares me cause it screams the truth
Please don’t tell me that we had that conversation
I won’t remember, save your breath, ‘cos what’s the use?

Uhhhh, the night is calling?
And it whispers to me softly come and play
Aahh, I am falling
And If I let myself go I’m the only one to blame

I’m safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party’s over?
Uohhhouhoh…
No pain
Inside
You’re my perfection
How do I feel this good sober?

I’m coming down, coming down, coming down
Spinning ’round, spinning ’round, spinning ’round
Looking for myself …. SOBER

I’m coming down, coming down, coming down
Spinning ’round, spinning ’round, spinning ’round
Looking for myself …. SOBER

Will I ever feel this good

I’m safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party’s over?
Uhoohhh..
No pain
Inside
You’re like perfection
How do I feel this good sober
How do I feel this good sober

Uhhoooohh..
Will I ever feel this good sober?

mtnmagic

Hi just - Thanks for posting. Really good lyrics.
Boy can a bunch of us identify or what?

Have a great day!

shanman422

Hiya... how is everyone feeling today?

32 days... I love that the days keep coming, and continue to pass as I stay sober! I have my up and down days naturally! I'm still craving sugar too, but lately I have been having hot cocoa in the afterrnoon. It only has 3.5 fat grams and 60 calories... it's better than having a snickers bar to satisfy that sugar need.

I want to share something, can anyone relate to this? I am usually very happy during the day when the sun is up or it's light out... but as soon as the sun goes down I start to feel low. I try and focus on doing things around the house and playing with my son, but I just want the time to go by fast so I can get into bed. It's frustrating me because that's the only time during the week that I have with my son and husband. Yet i'm saddest than. I'm sure this will pass... just somthing that's been weighing on me. although the next few nights I will be busy... tonight my husbands family is taking us out to dinner to celebrate his birthday that was on Tuesday. I'm a tad nervous because I haven't discussed with them the severity of my illness. In the past when I said I thought I had a problem, they voiced that they don't think that I do. I know I will not have a drink, and I will use that I am driving... but this is the first time I will be sitting down to dinner with them and not drinking. I'll let you know how it goes!

We are flying out on Saturday to go visit my family in Miny-sota. I am super duper excited... I haven't seen them since last Thanksgiving. If only money grew on trees, or I had my own private jet, we would go see them so much more!!! It's certainly a time to be Thankful for, so again very excited to be able to share this wonderful holiday with them!!!

Alright... I was in a rambling mood today, sorry!

Grrr - it's amazing how many times I've heard that song and never really listened to the lyrics... thanks for sharing them with us.

MUAH to you all!

guywithpie

Nice work Shanman..

Pam08

wow how did I miss this thread..I am 17 days and been checking in with the two weeks or less..I guess I have graduated to this one....

justforme

Shanman, where are you going in MN? That's where I'm from

shanman422

NO WAY... I went to college at Moorhead State. My parents are close to Detroit Lakes... Known for WE-fest... How about you??

justforme

Small world I live in the twin cities! Went to college at UW-RF

shanman422

Very cool... I worked at Valleyfair as a lifeguard one summer all midwesterns know of valleyfair... haha

Indeed it is a small world... just another thing we have in common dear friend!

grrrr

Hey Shanman, I hope your hubby's bday dinner goes well!

Hi Pam - Glad you are here! There is a 30 day and under thread as well if you are into baby steps. That is how this one got started between 30 and 60 days. But, I enjoy posting all over and hearing about everyone's struggles and successes! And I think your avatar is great too!

Going to chill out and watch some TV tonight. Going shopping for my thanksgiving turkey tomorrow! I brought some holiday decor out of storage yesterday. Is it too early for santa claus figures to be out???

shanman422

Good Morning!!!

Day 33 for a few of us... Good Job!!!

Last night was hard for me... especially at first since my husband is the only one that knows. They only asked once though if I wanted some of the sangria that was on the table.
The hard part was when we got home... my husband had a few of his guy friends over to watch the football game. The guys brought their wives, to whom are my greatest friends. The ones that know me in and out... the ones that in the past when I said I had a problem, tried to support me. I was the one that failed, but I always feel that every time I said something I soon failed myself and gave into drinking again. That's why even though they are my good friends, I'm scared that if I saw something to them I will fail and soon pick up a drink. It's all in my head I'm sure... I just want to get a few more weeks under my belt before I will be ready to say anything to anyone.

We had a good time, but I thought about drinking a lot. At 10, I threw my towel in and said I was tired. I watched TV upstairs in bed before falling asleep peacefully!!!

grrrr

Nice job Shanman! That sounds like a bit of a stressful night, but you handled it really well. I understand about not wanting to say anything. I kept telling my close friends or family that I was really going to quit smoking weed... and then I wouldn't. I told my boyfriend I had a problem with drinking and we should really take a break, but by day 4 I was drinking with him again. People accepted my failing to quit pretty easily. Maybe telling people doesn't always help, so if your current support system is working for you now, way to stick with that program!

I have been having lots of alcohol related dreams the past few nights. Not the vivid, my dreams are back type, I think those are gone, but more like using dreams. I used to have these a lot when I first quit smoking and the extent of my addiction to alcohol continues to amaze me. Last night I gave into one drink in the dream, but then stopped. I was conscious the whole time of how I would have to start recounting my sober time, how I wouldn't act how I wanted to if I got drunk, etc., etc. I feel like my subconscious is working overtime about this stuff right now!

justforme

hanging in there, 33 days today. definitely not focusing on the days as much as before when i was reaching 30... which i guess is a good thing and i'm finding they are going faster. it helped me to count in the beginning, and i think it might help me now to stop counting. we'll see! i might keep counting until 90.

not much going on today... either going to spend some time with a friend or head to a few meetings tonight. tomorrow i am going to put up the holiday decorations and play bingo with my AA group. i'm excited it's so nice to have people to do sober things with... and it's a ton of fun, even without alcohol. who knew?!!

i hope you all have a great weekend. i don't have the internet at home so i will see ya on monday!

shanman422

That's exactly what I feel too grrrr! I've always been the type of person that cared more about what other people think.... It's something I dislike about myself, but even if I try not to, I do! So I guess I'm afraid to get talked about... "shannon's trying to quit again, wonder how long she will last this time"... I doubt it's even said with the least bit of sympathy but that's how i picture it I guess.

I'm busy tonight... laundry and packing. I am REALLY exited about seeing my family tomorrow. I need this trip more than I ever thought... a big hug from my family sounds soooo good right now and it's only hours away!!! hehe

Have a WONDERFUL evening! I'll talk to you guys in the morning!

Pam08

18 days for me ... I am feeling pretty good considering the crap around me. Talked to some women in AA today..said I need to move with the steps..gotta get my resentments out...Yeah, I need to do that..i know thinking is not doing me any good...but for today, I am sober, and 18 days under my belt..

soarinhigh

Hello all..
I think I found another favorite thread to read and post. So many good threads not enough time. I am 29 and have 21 days under my belt. Its been tough but I am getting through. Everyday eases up even if its just a tiny tiny bit. My energy is coming back. I thought I'd never get my azz off the couch. Sleep still iffy. Getting to sleep is better but staying asleep is another story. I love all your posts and I'm sure this wont be the last time u hear from me. Take Care

grrrr

Hey justforme - Hope you are having a great weekend! I can relate to being excited about finding fun sober things to do. My officemate (also an alcoholic) is coming over tonight and we are going to make pizza! It is great to spend time with people that understand recovery. I hear ya about counting the days too. I am still excited the time is building up, but I do feel differently about the counting somehow....

Hi Shanman - It is good to hear you can relate. I too, did not want people thinking that way about me. Also, if my close friends or family weren't hard on me when I failed, why did I need to be? I think it comes down to people not realizing we have a problem. But we do, and we quit for us. I feel like there are plenty of people I will tell in the future, when I can casually say, "Oh yeah, I quit drinking, it's been a few months. Just wanted to get healthier." Have an awesome trip!!!!

Hi Pam, Congrats on 18 days! Glad that you have AA friends to share with. I haven't gone to AA yet, but did look up some meetings in my area. Not sure what I will do yet.

Hi Soarinhigh, glad you like the thread! Congrats on 21 days and getting some energy back! I was so glad when the tiredness started going away.

Mtnmagic - how is your weekend going? any fun plans?

Day 34 for me here. I am starting to find out some interesting things about myself now that I have a clear head. I have always been a perfectionist, and it is not a positive personality trait in my opinion. The other way to describe it would be that I am very afraid to fail. I think that when I was drinking/smoking, I rationalized that my main "failing" was the addictions. Now that I am sober, I am analyzing the rest of my life, which was a big part that I have ignored. I don't want to be too hard on myself, but there are some things I might want to change. Been reading some spiritual books and doing a lot of thinking.

mtnmagic

Hey grrrr - Good to see you doing so well. I work during the weekend, so
pretty much plan to go to my noon meeting and then go to work. Same
routine as it's been. Lucky that I still have a job, as layoffs have happened
all over my little town. Doing well, but back to being tired a lot. Why, I'm not sure. 41 days today. Have a good Sunday.