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Class of July 2008 Part Six

Old 11-12-2008, 11:27 AM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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IO, that gave me chills too! Thank you for that great post!!

Now I have to get her to a motel. What channel was that on?

Sorry, I know this is a serious as it gets, but I have to throw some humor in there or I'll be crazy too and I don't need more of that in my marriage! Drunk is as bad as crazy I proved THAT didn't work.

Again, very moving. Thank you.

I had something else I wanted to post when I came here just now, but it doesn't feel right at the moment. Maybe later. I'm going to reflect on this for now and maybe work out for a bit.
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Old 11-12-2008, 12:11 PM
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Now I have to get her to a motel. What channel was that on?
It says in the Big Book of AA.."Nothing happens in God's world by accident"

I think..that what happened to me that day. That guy had been on ..

but all I heard was the buzzing in my head..from the speed..my own

crazy thoughts..praying to my dad and three unborn babies I had miscarried

over the years. Why did my hearing "suddenly" clear up and allow me to

hear "just" those words?

Maybe it was my time for recovery..for redemption.

I took a leap of faith that afternoon, and was caught..

This is all that I know.

We cannot do it for another.

JIT...she may need rehab..is this an option for her? God works in a lot

of ways...
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Old 11-12-2008, 12:36 PM
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closest thing I could find to "crazy hotel".....excuse my humor



(you do recognize the hotel right???)
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Old 11-12-2008, 12:41 PM
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I don't....who is that in the picture?
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Old 11-12-2008, 12:46 PM
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It's the Bates Motel from psycho.....don't know who the poeple are....but get it....marriage and crazy hotel in one picture .... ok ok it was a wuzzy joke.

JIT....really my heart is breaking for you
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Old 11-12-2008, 01:04 PM
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IO, I've had instances in my life that I want to attribute to more than coincidence. Whether that's God, fate, karma, higher power, cosmic intervention - I don't know. Whatever it is, I believe you experienced it that day in that motel room. Maybe whatever it is, is always out there for us but we have to set our receiver to the right frequency so that we can pick up on it. Maybe you were just desperate and open enough at the same time "get it" that day?

My wife is desperate enough to do the cry for help suicide attempt but not open enough to accept the help....yet. All I can do is try to do my best to enable and influence her to get help. Maybe there's a web site out there that has suggestions on that on how to do your best on that? I can't make her do it unless I engage authorities and that would likely end our relationship. I will do that if I have to though.

Hey Ananda, if I could go back to my wedding day and play things differently from there, I wouldn't care if it was the Bates Motel. But then again I've seen the Butterfly Effect and Butterfly Effect Part 2 movies recently so I know it would be a crap shoot. I think I'd roll the dice tho. Both good movies BTW.
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Old 11-12-2008, 01:08 PM
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JIT...

I can do this...

I can pray for your wife...been there. I will...
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Old 11-12-2008, 01:10 PM
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Yep...I was "psycho"...speedballing...beer and speed does that to you..

with an undiagnosed chemical imbalance.. Sheesh.
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Old 11-12-2008, 01:38 PM
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Take care dear Class..

Have lots to do.. :ghug:
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Old 11-12-2008, 03:49 PM
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The craving just came out of nowhere. I will talk back to it, tell it to take a long walk off a short pier, but damn that bugs me!! It will pass, I know, but that bugs me that it can intrude on my sober thought patterns and try to wreak havoc, that nasty little voice.

Not to worry, I will resist and triumph. Just irritates me, that's all.
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Old 11-12-2008, 04:14 PM
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Yay!!!!!!!

She - NOT ME - but SHE, said let's go see the doctor and get my med's adjusted or changed!!!!!!!!!



IO, do you think that maybe you were supposed to pass along your story to me today? Like how you said that everything happens for a reason? Well your story made me say the following....if you'll allow me to quote myself.

Originally Posted by joinedintime View Post
IO, I've had instances in my life that I want to attribute to more than coincidence. Whether that's God, fate, karma, higher power, cosmic intervention - I don't know. Whatever it is, I believe you experienced it that day in that motel room. Maybe whatever it is, is always out there for us but we have to set our receiver to the right frequency so that we can pick up on it. Maybe you were just desperate and open enough at the same time "get it" that day?
I thought about what you said, and I thought about what I said about setting the receiver to the right frequency so we can pick up on what is already out there. So then I thought, yeah, the solution is out there - I just have to be open to it.

So my wife and I had our first friendly conversation shortly after that - just some stuff about the dog across the street. But we laughed and joked and were happy. Then a couple hours later she comes in, sits down, just starts talking about the last few days and says "let's go talk to the doctor"

Wow, second time today I'm getting chills in a good way.

Thanks to everyone for everything. I'm not trying to give IO all the credit. You've all been best friends. Also not kidding myself that all is well and it's time to relax and forget about it. But for now:

:ghug
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Old 11-12-2008, 04:28 PM
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I'm glad that a peice is falling into place for you JIT!!!
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Old 11-12-2008, 04:39 PM
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JIT,

I am SO glad to hear this news and that your wife wants to get better.

That is a huge first step and you are both in my thoughts and prayers.
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Old 11-12-2008, 05:11 PM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
The craving just came out of nowhere. I will talk back to it, tell it to take a long walk off a short pier, but damn that bugs me!! It will pass, I know, but that bugs me that it can intrude on my sober thought patterns and try to wreak havoc, that nasty little voice.

Not to worry, I will resist and triumph. Just irritates me, that's all.




least, I know how you feel, I really do. Lately it seems to be happening to me more often.
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Old 11-12-2008, 06:38 PM
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Hello all,

I want to try to keep this short, but something tells me it won't be. So I apologize from the start.

First, to IO, I can't tell you how glad I am you found the strength and courage, no matter where you found it, to stick around and to grow so you now give so much help and strength to others.

Second, to JIT, I understand what you and your wife are going through--from both sides. I'm an alcoholic and I was drinking the whole time through my marriage, separation and divorce (10-12 years ago), as was my wife. I also was extremely suicidal after my wife went splitsville. While I'm not bi-polar, I was just seriously depressed, I know the despair that comes with suicidal thoughts and the effects they have on those around. I also can't tell you how glad I am that you are sober (man, if I had been sober during all that, I can't imagine...) AND that your wife has the courage and the moment of clarity to seek help. I truly wish peace for you both.

To be truthful, JIT, the one thing that tells me there is an eventual light at the end of your and your wife's tunnel is just a small comment you made. You said you were able to share a laugh together. Without laughter, hope is gone. I joined a support group for people going through my particular brand of separation/divorce and many of the most cathartic moments were when I just laughed at the absurdity of life (I mean that in a good way). Obviously your road is likely to be filled with bumps, but if you can always manage a laugh, even a small one, you can make it.

Now to the "deep" stuff. Many here tell of their experiences of prayer and how things are "destined" to be or to help them at a certain point in their lives. While I am not one to try to take away from that, especially if it helps someone "get through the night", just one more night over and over, I do feel that some input from the other side of the coin might help those who might not speak out otherwise.

I am a devout atheist. I have been since I was 15, well before I started drinking (Hello, my name is Michael, I'm a recovering Christian). I do not believe in fate, "signs" or pre-determinism. I'm very lucky I don't believe in signs. Three months before my wife left and I started into a huge depression, our best friends gave me a shot gun for hunting for a christmas present. If I was one for signs, I wouldn't be here today. Also, for whatever reason (and I am not trying to rag on religious people, my mother is religious) one thing that helped me in my depression in rural Virginia were the suicide help lines, and not for the reason they are intended. They were always answered by religious fundamentalists who had about as much rational cognitive ability as a rock--and I'm sorry if I insulted rocks or those who care about rocks. I would end up hanging up thinking, "well, I may be screwed up in my life right now, but at least I'm not as far off the reality meter as they are!"

My atheism is a big part of why AA is not for me, I can't read one page of the big book without feeling like I'm being talked to like a three year old. To me, it is extremely condescending. I don't believe in any higher power, because in the end, I am the one who is responsible for my own actions and recovery. There was no higher power who handed me a drink, so he/she/it is not responsible for me to stop. This is part of my path to recovery.

Again, I'm not trying to diminish anyone's experiences as we all have our own paths to follow. Part of my path has led me here to SR, and I am thankful to it and to all of you. You have often helped me sort out my thoughts and emotions and have helped me stay away from the booze. I also feel that hearing about experiences from multiple points of view can help us all, especially those who might be "lurking" as guests and haven't posted yet.

I hope this is taken in the spirit in which I wrote it. I wish all love and hope, peace and security.

Best to all,

BMUS
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Old 11-12-2008, 06:43 PM
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Originally Posted by ananda View Post


closest thing I could find to "crazy hotel".....excuse my humor



(you do recognize the hotel right???)
Just so we don't start hearing violins screeching from the wedding band.
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Old 11-12-2008, 06:59 PM
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Originally Posted by rurdy2rk View Post
16,845 days old here and 131 sober!
Hey, Im 16 days older than you. 16,861
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Old 11-12-2008, 07:51 PM
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Thanks Scott, although i go to AA I do not believe in god, and do not "pray". I respect those who have those beliefs. It is important to keep some balance that people know there are those who stay sober without a belief in god and those who stay sober without using AA.

I get great ideas from everyones sharing about the tools they use.

Oh yeah...there is a secular recovery and a secular 12 step recovery forum on this site but it should be presented as part of the overall support for alchoholism in all the general areas of the site.

Oh yeah....I don't feed christians to the lions either (just a little joke guys!)

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Old 11-12-2008, 08:16 PM
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Hi everybody,
JIT - I am SO GLAD to hear that something good has finally come of your situation! That is just great.

IO - that story gave me chills too. Wow. I'm so glad you're here!

I really appreciate how different beliefs are so accepted here. I am a non-practicing christian, I pray for some things, believe in God, etc, but haven't been to church in a couple of years at least. I don't think God is responsible for my alcoholism or my recovery. I think there is a greater plan, but also think that it's up to me to decide and do what's right for me and what I believe my place is in the world.
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Old 11-12-2008, 08:45 PM
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Hey guys..reading my story gives me chills too! You might take a gander and

read another story I wrote in the CIR forum..Miracle on the Freeway.

Another coincidence? Maybe. But..see, there have been too many

car crashes, another suicide attempt (overdose) that I survived that

truly makes me think someone has been watching out for me..when

I was "out there." No broken bones..lacerations..just a whiplash and a bruise

or two, a minor concussion. I drove 250 miles one night...and do not recall

driving the car...totally drunk..a total black out.

Drove many other times in black outs...could have killed me or someone else.

This was my reality.

As far as I can see, I am living proof of a Higher Power.

I respect your views tho' ..Bemus..no offense taken here!

That's the neat thing about SR..we all have our own experience to bring here.

The strength of the forums...

Hugs
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