Class of July 2008 Part Six
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
Good Morning and Happy Tuesday All! :)
JIT...I hope yesterday went well. I am thinking of you and hoping something really good comes out of all of this. (((hugs)))
Rhino Gal...WHOO-HOO! 115 days today! YIPPEE!!! Good to know that "the fog" has lifted! :) That's so awesome!
Kathleen...Hey busy lady! Sounds like you are doing an amazing job juggling your career! You go girl! :)
scoob...Come over to "my Place" and journal with me! I never worry about going "on and on" over there! And, believe me, I do! LOL Although, I'm certain our classmates wouldn't mind if anyone journaled here :)
dancinggirl...I'm SO GLAD to see you! :) I hope your show was a success! :)
TonySoprano...Isn't GELATO more your thing? LOL
Waves and smiles going out to ananda, SlvrMag, BMUS and everyone else stopping in! :)
Have an awesome day everyone! :)
JIT...I hope yesterday went well. I am thinking of you and hoping something really good comes out of all of this. (((hugs)))
Rhino Gal...WHOO-HOO! 115 days today! YIPPEE!!! Good to know that "the fog" has lifted! :) That's so awesome!
Kathleen...Hey busy lady! Sounds like you are doing an amazing job juggling your career! You go girl! :)
scoob...Come over to "my Place" and journal with me! I never worry about going "on and on" over there! And, believe me, I do! LOL Although, I'm certain our classmates wouldn't mind if anyone journaled here :)
dancinggirl...I'm SO GLAD to see you! :) I hope your show was a success! :)
TonySoprano...Isn't GELATO more your thing? LOL
Waves and smiles going out to ananda, SlvrMag, BMUS and everyone else stopping in! :)
Have an awesome day everyone! :)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
My post got deleted?!
Ah well it mostly just contained love for Scoob and JIT. I was trying to be funny at the end to get a smile out of you Scoob and guess someone's ever watchful eye is still editing our thread. Sheesh... How did everyone get so sensitive?!
Have a good day all!
Ah well it mostly just contained love for Scoob and JIT. I was trying to be funny at the end to get a smile out of you Scoob and guess someone's ever watchful eye is still editing our thread. Sheesh... How did everyone get so sensitive?!
Have a good day all!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Don't worry BL....we all love you, I read it before deletion and understood you were trying to lighten things up.
My laughing hedge hog is back!!!!
I tried to find a picture of geleto...but my translator is broken today...care to clue me in???
today I get to have an overall physical. I haven't been able to go more than a month without a dr.s appt. since I got sober I don't think...but after this one i am likely to be able to go a whole year. My body is recovering from my alchohol abuse. I have some scars from the years of scratching with tissue thin skin that may be around forever....but thats just the outside...the inside is doing great...I find the human body's ability to heal amazing...
oh yeah and i go on chantrex now to quit smoking...wish me luck on that one!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: East Coast
Posts: 437
Ananda- Good luck on the quitting smoking. The great American Smoke out day is November 20th and there will probably be alot of resources available. It will be 20 years since I have quit smoking but I found it much much harder to quit drinking. Oh the addictive personality.
Just for the record Gelato is a homemade Italian ice cream and it is very good.
I thought I read that your BB Birthday is coming up. I read more than I post so I may be confused - anyway I think we are the same "old" age.
Just for the record Gelato is a homemade Italian ice cream and it is very good.
I thought I read that your BB Birthday is coming up. I read more than I post so I may be confused - anyway I think we are the same "old" age.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 983
Morning guys.
I did not get to read the other post, but thanks for the poem BL.
My hurt is for my mom. She gave 10 years of her life to a companion, and he couldn't be bothered to tell anyone about her. He was a private person to a fault, and in this last week a lot of fault has come out. It's hard to be mad at the dead.
He had suffered from prostate problems for 6 years, never told his 2 sons. Imagine getting a phone call that your father is dead and not even know why.
My mom sat through the funeral and open house as a stranger. His other "friend" was mentioned many times, but nobody even acknowledged my mom.
And yes, I had a glass of wine on Saturday night. Not the whole bottle, one glass. We had 26 of OUR family at my house for dinner, I was cleaning up after everyone had left, and there was a bit left in a bottle, so I drank it while sitting on the back step and throwing a tennis ball for my dog, and unwinding the week.
I admit i've felt a bit leery of posting here this week, because if I admitted to having a drink, I was afraid of having "denial" and "what about your dad" thrown in my face again.
See? I warned you if I started, it could get messy
I did not get to read the other post, but thanks for the poem BL.
My hurt is for my mom. She gave 10 years of her life to a companion, and he couldn't be bothered to tell anyone about her. He was a private person to a fault, and in this last week a lot of fault has come out. It's hard to be mad at the dead.
He had suffered from prostate problems for 6 years, never told his 2 sons. Imagine getting a phone call that your father is dead and not even know why.
My mom sat through the funeral and open house as a stranger. His other "friend" was mentioned many times, but nobody even acknowledged my mom.
And yes, I had a glass of wine on Saturday night. Not the whole bottle, one glass. We had 26 of OUR family at my house for dinner, I was cleaning up after everyone had left, and there was a bit left in a bottle, so I drank it while sitting on the back step and throwing a tennis ball for my dog, and unwinding the week.
I admit i've felt a bit leery of posting here this week, because if I admitted to having a drink, I was afraid of having "denial" and "what about your dad" thrown in my face again.
See? I warned you if I started, it could get messy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Road to recovery
Posts: 866
Scoob, I understand the hesitation, but I'm glad you posted. If you can't be honest in this forum then what is the point of being here? Many of us ended up addicted at least in part because we weren't being honest with others or ourselves.
I think you were able to act as a non-addicted person this one time and it was under very extreme circumstances. You didn't go on and have a second. What you need to know, in my opinion, is that your alcoholic mind will tell you that you're now cured. Don't listen - it is evil and crafty. This was one time - one drink, and these circumstances happened only once.
Keep posting, please. It's good for you and for us.
I think you were able to act as a non-addicted person this one time and it was under very extreme circumstances. You didn't go on and have a second. What you need to know, in my opinion, is that your alcoholic mind will tell you that you're now cured. Don't listen - it is evil and crafty. This was one time - one drink, and these circumstances happened only once.
Keep posting, please. It's good for you and for us.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: East Coast
Posts: 437
Scoob
I'm sorry for your loss. Thanks for posting that you had a glass of wine. I would really like to know if some people can ever drink normally. Everyone I have listened to especially in rehab said no never not one. If you have one that is just the beginning. I have never tried to quit before so I can honestly say that I have never had a drink after I quit which is 111 days ago. But I am still not convinced that I was a alcholic. I know that I drank like one so probably am but I read in the big book that the only way to find out is to try to control your drinking which I am afaid to do. I wish there was a test to see with out taking a drink. I just want this obsession of not drinking to go away. Sorry for venting but I hate that I am an educated person and can't understand this. I feel that if I could grasp this I would be able to explain to others
I'm sorry for your loss. Thanks for posting that you had a glass of wine. I would really like to know if some people can ever drink normally. Everyone I have listened to especially in rehab said no never not one. If you have one that is just the beginning. I have never tried to quit before so I can honestly say that I have never had a drink after I quit which is 111 days ago. But I am still not convinced that I was a alcholic. I know that I drank like one so probably am but I read in the big book that the only way to find out is to try to control your drinking which I am afaid to do. I wish there was a test to see with out taking a drink. I just want this obsession of not drinking to go away. Sorry for venting but I hate that I am an educated person and can't understand this. I feel that if I could grasp this I would be able to explain to others
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Scoob, I certainly can't fault you for one glass. You've had a sh!tty week. If it helps any, I love ya!:ghug3
Keep letting your feelings out. This is a safe place to do so. Feelings left to fester inside will work on you and could do you harm. Let them out for air.
Keep letting your feelings out. This is a safe place to do so. Feelings left to fester inside will work on you and could do you harm. Let them out for air.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Road to recovery
Posts: 866
Philly, I've been exactly where you are a number of times over the last 4 months.
Oddly enough, during the hell I'm going through in my marriage right now I don't want to get drunk. I can't even begin to imagine making all this any worse and that is what would happen if I was drunk. It's already worse than I can stand. Well, I guess I'm standing it, but you know what I mean.
I don't even want to be a "normal" drinker right now.
Having said all that, I did do something to make it even worse and I'm beating myself up for taking the bait. The first real conversation after her attempted suicide was yesterday afternoon when she wanted her car keys and I said no. She immediately turned the conversation to our most touchy subject of conflict and she started in on a real nasty personal character assassination..........and I took the bait. It turned into a screaming match.
I am so f'ing p.o.'d at myself for not being the cooler head since she is obviously way out there in the deep end....but no one should ever have to hear from their wife what I heard.
Sorry, didn't mean to make this a big vent. I gotta stop now.
Oddly enough, during the hell I'm going through in my marriage right now I don't want to get drunk. I can't even begin to imagine making all this any worse and that is what would happen if I was drunk. It's already worse than I can stand. Well, I guess I'm standing it, but you know what I mean.
I don't even want to be a "normal" drinker right now.
Having said all that, I did do something to make it even worse and I'm beating myself up for taking the bait. The first real conversation after her attempted suicide was yesterday afternoon when she wanted her car keys and I said no. She immediately turned the conversation to our most touchy subject of conflict and she started in on a real nasty personal character assassination..........and I took the bait. It turned into a screaming match.
I am so f'ing p.o.'d at myself for not being the cooler head since she is obviously way out there in the deep end....but no one should ever have to hear from their wife what I heard.
Sorry, didn't mean to make this a big vent. I gotta stop now.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Just popping into the thread...
My goodness peeps. Scoob, I am sorry for what has happened. This is a
lot of sadness, memories that jump all at once. And I am sorry for your loss.
Yeah..this (is) a safe place to keep talking about it. A support forum.
The more you you let it out..the better..even if it is in a PM.
Hugs, from me, Scoob, and heartfelt prayers for you and your mom.
JIT..
Dear God..I am sorry about your wife. How many times did I put my ex
BF's through that? Many. And did attempt. My prayers are with you,
and with her. All I do know is..if I am okay today..there is hope!
There certainly is..she just needs to get the right kind of help.
I pray it is soon...all my prayers, J.
My goodness peeps. Scoob, I am sorry for what has happened. This is a
lot of sadness, memories that jump all at once. And I am sorry for your loss.
Yeah..this (is) a safe place to keep talking about it. A support forum.
The more you you let it out..the better..even if it is in a PM.
Hugs, from me, Scoob, and heartfelt prayers for you and your mom.
JIT..
Dear God..I am sorry about your wife. How many times did I put my ex
BF's through that? Many. And did attempt. My prayers are with you,
and with her. All I do know is..if I am okay today..there is hope!
There certainly is..she just needs to get the right kind of help.
I pray it is soon...all my prayers, J.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: East Coast
Posts: 437
JIT
I know the screaming matches and it is alot easier to take sober but don't beat yourself up for responding it is only normal. Since being sober I have basically ignored any comment but haven't really heard any about my drinking and even sober I think I would have a really harsh reply and go off the deep end. Be strong you seem to be handling your situation great.
I know the screaming matches and it is alot easier to take sober but don't beat yourself up for responding it is only normal. Since being sober I have basically ignored any comment but haven't really heard any about my drinking and even sober I think I would have a really harsh reply and go off the deep end. Be strong you seem to be handling your situation great.
Black and Yellow
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,359
know what I did? I put my actual birthday and year I was born in the "Sober Time" day counter thingy. I wanted to see how many days I have been alive. It's only been 13,519...I thought it would be more.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Hey scoob...I'm glad you posted. My expereince is that after 2.5 years sober I drank for one night....then a couple of weeks later...3 beers....then I was a serial slipper...and I didn't get really drunk during that period either. But I gave myself the illusion that I could control it. When I had seven years in 99 I started out having a few beers during the hocky game....I was ok for a very very short period of time...then certainly by 6 mos I was out of control, and new it was a problem and by 9 mos into this I was drinking more than ever, daily and before work.
I DRANK FOR 8 YEARS AND COULDN'T STOP EVEN THOUGH I WANTED DESPERATELY TO STOP...and I almost died several times.
I think the scariest thing about drinking "just one" is that it will often lead to thinking drinking might work for us. I STRONGLY disagree about the experiment of controll drinking in the Big Book....This is a deadly disease and there are other ways to deal with the question of if I am an alchoholic or not.
It talks in some AA literature about how we can share our stories and look at our own pasts and see that we were out of control way before we realized it...that we can have a "higher bottom".
Today when I look back at the earliest of my drinking I can see the out of control aspect that I didn't recognize even in my first sobriety. Did I drink when to do so was inappropriete? Did I get drunk when I only wanted a few? Did I drink when clearly drinking was causing problems for my self and others?
I mean there are lots of ways to explore our past and see the answer.
Sorry I went on so long. And you know I was actually drunk at meetings for a year before I got sober this time. I hope you are not embarrased scoob for doing what is the most natural thing for an alchoholic. Just use this as a reason to look more closely at your own drinking history and talk about it and see if the answer isn't easier to find there than through an attempt at control that you might loose and die from.
I DRANK FOR 8 YEARS AND COULDN'T STOP EVEN THOUGH I WANTED DESPERATELY TO STOP...and I almost died several times.
I think the scariest thing about drinking "just one" is that it will often lead to thinking drinking might work for us. I STRONGLY disagree about the experiment of controll drinking in the Big Book....This is a deadly disease and there are other ways to deal with the question of if I am an alchoholic or not.
It talks in some AA literature about how we can share our stories and look at our own pasts and see that we were out of control way before we realized it...that we can have a "higher bottom".
Today when I look back at the earliest of my drinking I can see the out of control aspect that I didn't recognize even in my first sobriety. Did I drink when to do so was inappropriete? Did I get drunk when I only wanted a few? Did I drink when clearly drinking was causing problems for my self and others?
I mean there are lots of ways to explore our past and see the answer.
Sorry I went on so long. And you know I was actually drunk at meetings for a year before I got sober this time. I hope you are not embarrased scoob for doing what is the most natural thing for an alchoholic. Just use this as a reason to look more closely at your own drinking history and talk about it and see if the answer isn't easier to find there than through an attempt at control that you might loose and die from.
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