cmhcali

Least is it 5 months today? If so congratulations!!!! My memory has gone in sobriety it is awful. Today is 177 days for me

scoob

Still no Boston?

dancinggirl

I miss BL! I haven't heard anything from her or about her in a long, long time!

I'm so happy for everyone that's able to stay committed in their marriages! I'm at the point where I just don't believe in love anymore...not any kind of love that isn't family love, ya know? Bah-humbug!

Philly

About Boston Luv-

I only ever had one PM and it was back on 11/11 from Boston and she was apoligizing for something that she may have written but was deleted before I even saw it. I responded how happy I was to get a pm and explained some of my situation and then I never heard back. I have been looking for some type of post from her ever since. I really miss reading her posts.

joinedintime

Regarding all this talk about dating, love and marriage...

I went into my counselor yesterday and the couple before me came out looking all sour and my counselor looked very frustrated. You could easily tell the session had not ended well.

Before I could sit down she says in a half joking half serious way "I hate couples"
I said "Oh really"
She says " I don't know why anyone gets married. I may be the first counselor to be against marriage"
I said "You can't be the only one, but you might be the only one to be honest enough to say it to a client"

Now, one of the reasons I like her is that she is very honest and open. However, I know she is happily married and she was just frustrated from seeing all the trouble that she sees on a daily basis, but I'm not about to stand up for marriage at the moment. In fact, I'm seeing Sam Kinison's views on marriage in a new light these days.

Sam Kinison's First Appearance on Letterman • VideoSift: Online Video *Quality Control

By the end of my session she had asked me some very pointed questions like "why are you still with this woman and why are accepting this behavior?"

Well that's enough for of this for now, have to get back to work.

Ananda

Thanks I think sometimes I need to have those pointed questions asked from someone I trust and respect

least

Good morning to all. Actually woke up feeling good this morning, what a relief after feeling crappy for the last few days. Am so pleased that I'm finally able to stay sober after trying since one year ago. No more hiding bottles and lying. No more waking up feeling like death warmed over. No more withdrawal nightmares. Nope! I'm sober now and glad to be that way.

Morning hugs for everyone!!:ghug

cmhcali

Today is 178! I am having a real hard time lately with not drinking. I am not happy at all. I go to meetings and I need to talk to my sponsor about this tonight.

I hate life. It is so hard. I know when I had the escape of alcohol it was like I had a release to look forward to. I was a fun drunk, I danced and was very social. I just was also not very responsible and that is what keeps me from not drinking. That I lost my license. THat I would still drink and drive and make bad decisions while drinking. So why is that something that does so much bad also is the only thing that makes me feel good..

Ananda

Thanks CM...I had to bite the bullet and get things out with my sponsor last night....It didn't exactly fix everything, but It helped stop the freight train from coming off the tracks.

hang in there...:ghug3

joinedintime

I took out the part where you were saying what the good things were about drinking.

What's left of what you said are what's good about not drinking. You are now more responsible. You are not out on the road putting other people and yourself at risk. You are not making the bad decisions that you made while drinking.

It's easier to get past the negative if you focus on the positive. I think you really did focus on the positive in your post, while also admiting and venting about the negative, which is good too. You'll make it past all this!!

That's what's helping me get by in my personal life right now. One of those positives for me is that I'm dealing with all this sober.

least

I agree with JIT. I have to focus on the positive aspects of being sober. And mostly when I have the urge to drink it's when I'm feeling bad and don't want to 'feel' at all. I have to recognize that I want to escape and find another way to get past my bad feelings.

Hang in there! You're stronger than you believe. And on this coming Saturday you'll have six months sober!! There's something to celebrate!

least

Everyone come on over to Newcomers to congratulate Cmhcali on her six months sober TODAY!! Way to go, girlfriend!!:bounce

least

Cmhcali, where are you?? I'm worried.

least

Despite overwhelming depression lately I've stayed sober. Today is day 155. I'm only looking at today, since today is all I've got. One day at a time has gotten me this far so I'll keep on doing it.

joinedintime

Hey Least, I don't have anything special to say here for the thread, but I'd hate to see you have to make 5 posts in a row so I'm jumping in to say hi.

Ok, thought I had nothing to say, but I guess I do.
How are people doing out there coming into the holiday season where all those events are going to happen with other people drinking? I was at a big party last night where most people were drinking. Didn't bother me. Easier access to the buffet for me.

A friend was there and is on probation and he found out that he had to test today and was bummed that he couldn't drink last night. Alcohol shows up for about a day in the test. He quit pot when he went on probation about 4 months ago and says he doesn't miss it, and in fact likes being off of it which for him is a big deal as he was a huge pothead. Anyway, he mentioned a few times that he'd be having more fun if he was drinking.

cmhcali

Hi Everyone! Today is day 182! Today is ok. I need to remember that I am alive and well and have everything I need. I need to be grateful for what I have instead of what I dont. I will never be happy if I want more.

Least always good to hear from you!

JIT and Ananda thanks for the advice

Philly

Hi All,

Our thread is really quiet these days. Most of us I guess are in our fifth month and maybe everyone is moving on.

JIT- I'm glad you made it through the party - it gives me hope. I have Christmas eve and I am pretty sure I will not drink - the whole world knows I quit so there really is no pressure but I just don't want to be miserable. I think Christmas Eve is when even the non-drinkers drink.

Philly

Cmhcali-I saw you made 6 month over the weekend. Congratulations!!! That is awesome!!:bounce

joinedintime

Philly, I think more than just our thread is quiet. SR is more quiet in general now. Maybe it gets that way before the holidays? (51anna, have you been around SR this time of year?) For example, I've noticed times of day/week when I'd typically see 4 or 5 pages when I hit the New Posts button but now I'm seeing 2.

cmhcali

Good Morning! I made it through last night. I really wanted to drink. I really contemplated it for the first time. Before I was just miserable and missed it and last night I was miserable enough to think about going out on a Monday night and getting wasted.

I am so glad I did not however; I wish I felt better. I guess I complain alot, but that is what this place is for right. To help me get sober. I know someday from putting in the work I will get better.

I also know that I will someday have more friends in AA. I am horrible at making friends.