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Old 11-06-2008, 09:43 AM   #61 (permalink)
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Hi Guys,

I can post a Youtube, but don't know how to do pictures either. Good job Pixy on doing a quote.

Here is a song I love, listen to the words.
YouTube - SIXX:A.M. Accidents Can Happen

I am doing really good today. I got my book "Under the Influence" last night, can't put it down. It really stops and makes you think about what we are doing to our body. I have complained lately about just not being able to get organized or even think...now I know why!

Have a great day...

P.S. My meeting went good, and NO wine!
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Old 11-06-2008, 10:17 AM   #62 (permalink)
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Well done eclipse, that book is amazing isn't it?
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Old 11-06-2008, 05:04 PM   #63 (permalink)
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Yes it is, what an eyeopener Wibble. Its funny cuz the book is all yellowed and dogeared and it looks like someone spilled their wine all over the cover...but I got it for a penny, so whose complaining, looks like it was well used!
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Old 11-06-2008, 05:51 PM   #64 (permalink)
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Hey Guys! :)

I really enjoyed reading all of your posts. Today is Day 1 for me. Time to begin a new journey. I'm feeling poisoned today so I am very much looking forward to beginning Day 2. I am also feeling a lot of anger because my children have to suffer because of my stupidity. They are a HUGE motivator for me to get my act together. One of my friends over in the July thread gave me the link to a bunch of the Under the Influence posts and they were a tremendous motivator in my last journey of 11 days without alcohol. I think I'd like to get the book too. I realized I might have a problem (or I became aware anyway) back in July, but I just wasn't ready to fight the fight. I came back in October and gave it my first REAL go and made it for 11 days. It was a really good 11 days and aside from a bout with insomnia I felt awesome! I felt so good that I actually ordered a drink with dinner and thought I'd be okay. STUPID. I didn't wake up thinking I would drink. I didn't even wake up wanting to drink. What I did was not THINK...period. UGGHHH...live and LEARN. Yes, I must.

I look forward to getting to know you all and sharing on this journey to freedom! :)

Sweet Dreams! :) :) :)
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Old 11-06-2008, 11:51 PM   #65 (permalink)
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Seriously Melissa the easiest thing in the world to do is think you can control your drinking. Thinking having wine with dinner or whatever... I know I've made that mistake over and over again.

There's a section in the book "Under the influence" which talks just about this, it really makes you think. There is a section on this site with large parts of the book on them.
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Old 11-07-2008, 04:02 AM   #66 (permalink)
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Morning all, had wine last night and now very ****""! off with myself.

Recieved an email telling me that my copy of "under the influence" will be here by the 10th so not long, after waiting a month. It must be in high demand.

Hope you are all well, Pixie
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Old 11-07-2008, 05:37 AM   #67 (permalink)
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Good Morning! :)

Just wanted to pop in and say "Hello" and "Happy Friday" (well, and Good Morning too)! :)

wibble...Yes, you are so right. It takes me 'aback how innocently it just happened. I mean, I take FULL responsibility for my actions, but normally, there is a thought process that goes on and I mean some serious dialogue regarding whether or not I should drink and this time...it was like maybe a two line dialogue in my head and I just jumped right in. So nonchalantly. I just don't *get* how I could be so passionate about not drinking, not even really caring if I had a beer at dinner or not and JUST DID IT. I guess I am just surpised that I even questioned whether or not I wanted to have a drink when I really didn't want one 100% and hadn't even thought about it. Perhaps it was more out of habit or routine...as in that's what we do when we go out to dinner? It was the first time I'd been to a restaurant (that serves alcohol) since I'd given it up. I should've known better. I don't know, the more I write, the more I feel like I'm not making any sense! LOL

Pixie...I'm sorry you weren't able to fight the temptation last night. I know how disappointed you must feel today, as I felt that way yesterday and I'm still trying to get over it.

Something that is helping me through this process is to really identify the situations that cause me to drink. H.A.L.T. is HUGE for me! My drinking comes more out of habit and routine than anything so I feel the need to actively change things in my life and set myself up to win. That means I need to go back and work at changing the things that made me want to drink in the first place. It's such a process. This last time I relapsed was more out "ignorance" than anything. I just wasn't "on guard". Perhaps I'd felt I'd beaten the monster...I don't know. What I do know is that going forward, I am aware that the monster is always waiting...waiting for me to underestimate how much he really WANTS ME!

Have a great day everyone! :)
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Old 11-07-2008, 05:50 AM   #68 (permalink)
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My slips have all been fairly nonchalant (sp?) as well. One time, I had actually talked myself out of it, after a furious argument with addict voice, and then went ahead and did it anyway.

One minute I was congratulating myself on working my way through it, next minute ... I have no idea how it happened!
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Old 11-07-2008, 05:57 AM   #69 (permalink)
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One minute I was congratulating myself on working my way through it, next minute ... I have no idea how it happened!
Hi there! Oh my goodness! That must have been EXTREMELY confusing and very hard to make sense of. Have you read "Under the Influence"? If so, does the book explain why that happens and what we can do to prevent that from happening?
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Old 11-07-2008, 05:59 AM   #70 (permalink)
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I haven't read the book, but I think I must!!! I suppose it is the nature of the disease. I get such a driving compulsion sometimes, and I feel powerless to stop it. Will power doesn't stand a chance against it.
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Old 11-08-2008, 03:31 AM   #71 (permalink)
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hmmmmmmmmmm! Class of November is conspicuous by it's absence.
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Old 11-08-2008, 03:33 AM   #72 (permalink)
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I'd like to be a member of this class. Starting day 1 here.
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Old 11-08-2008, 03:49 AM   #73 (permalink)
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Welcome Tony. Congrats on starting your journey!!

BTW, my dad looks just like Tony Soprano, all the mannerisms, everything! Also Italian way back!
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Old 11-08-2008, 03:52 AM   #74 (permalink)
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Welcome Tony. Congrats on starting your journey!!

BTW, my dad looks just like Tony Soprano, all the mannerisms, everything! Also Italian way back!
Thank you. Its good to be here.
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Old 11-08-2008, 04:44 AM   #75 (permalink)
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Morning all, I'm still here and struggling. Weekends are so hard.

Off to the stables to take my mind off it.
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Old 11-08-2008, 05:07 AM   #76 (permalink)
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Good Morning Everyone! :)

Tony Soprano...Fancy meeting you here! LOL (just said "hello" over in the Class of July thread) It's so good to see you again! Maybe we can "walk" to our classes together! LOL :)

lostbutterfly...I am here! :) Day 3 for me...feeling strong and great! :) I am SO HAPPY to have the poison out of my body! WHOO-HOO! :) I ordered Beyond the Influence yesterday. It will be here Thursday. It would be so cool to have a book study on here since so many people are planning on reading it.

(((pixie)))...I'm so sorry you are struggling :( I hope time out in the barn brings you peace. I am proud of you for sticking around...I think I finally "get" that we really need to be here during this time. I was actually doing awesome and decided to tackly my internet addiction and on the first day of not posting, I drank :( I didn't even plan on it...nor did I crave it. I lost focus...completely took me by surprise and threw me for a loop.

Let's stay busy today and keep reporting in! We can do this! :) :) :)

PS...I created a thread called "BreakFree's Place" and I go there to journal. I find writing helps me a lot and by doing it on the boards, I feel more accountable. Please feel free to pop into "my place" to do some journaling if you'd like! :) You can pop in anyway if you want...my place is your place! :) :) :)
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Old 11-08-2008, 05:50 AM   #77 (permalink)
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Tony Soprano...Fancy meeting you here! LOL (just said "hello" over in the Class of July thread) It's so good to see you again! Maybe we can "walk" to our classes together! LOL
Small world huh?
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Old 11-08-2008, 07:17 AM   #78 (permalink)
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Good morning to all November class members! Hope all are doing well today!

:ghug3
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Old 11-08-2008, 07:35 AM   #79 (permalink)
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Sorry you are having a hard time Pixy, I am too.

I have a horrible cold and drank all day yesterday. should have been drinking tea, but drank wine all day instead and slept.
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Old 11-08-2008, 09:11 AM   #80 (permalink)
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(((Eclipse)))...I hope you feel better soon...I'm glad you are still posting :) You can do this!
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