Class of July 2008 Part 5
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Eh? :)
Posts: 1,410
Hahaha...I love that, scoob! "hornarary members"...people will think we just can't spell! lol
I have no idea how to post pics inside the threads...I think you have to first post them in photobucket and then paste the link in here and it magically pops up? I know there's a troubleshooting thread somewhere here that's tried to explain it. I'll have to figure it out, too, for the halloween pics!
I have no idea how to post pics inside the threads...I think you have to first post them in photobucket and then paste the link in here and it magically pops up? I know there's a troubleshooting thread somewhere here that's tried to explain it. I'll have to figure it out, too, for the halloween pics!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
yeah i don't remembe the details, but i went to photobucket.com and signed up and then it lets me "upload" pics from my computer to it...and find other pics to....then when I click on them i copy the IGM code from photo bucket to the little box like what i'm typing in right now to post.
Sounds hard, but really not....pretty self guiding too.
do any of your remember tricks? the Tricks are for kids commercial?
Sounds hard, but really not....pretty self guiding too.
do any of your remember tricks? the Tricks are for kids commercial?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Eh? :)
Posts: 1,410
Class: in all seriousness, I see myself heading for trouble 'cause I'm bored. Does anyone else get this way?? I have no man on the horizon, I have weird feelings about one of my exes, I have zero social life right now, I just work at the store, take care of the kids and hit the hay by 7:30pm every night!! I feel so healthy, though, working out almost every morning, well-rested, not drinking....but I feel "too" good, if that makes sense. I have all this energy and no where to put it! Halloween is a lurkin'...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
DC...as mentioned i am pretty off right now as well...and sometimes it looks like boredom...what ever it is I'm pretty sure it means it's time for me to change....but am in the sorta "inbetween" time.
I try to go to 3 meetings a week when I feel like this and talk briefly with people before and after....I really need to talk one on one with someone not work related and preferably someone in recovery a certain amount of time to keep from getting "bored" and "isolating" in my own head if not physically.
I also come to SR way too much and that helps some too.
I get to start walking daily in another week (hope i still want to when that comes)...being outside even when it's cold or dreary can sorta clear away cobwebs for me.
I am expecting a phone call from someone in a little bit and that is important too...voice contact.
can you start a new project that will make you feel like you are accomplishing something?
I try to go to 3 meetings a week when I feel like this and talk briefly with people before and after....I really need to talk one on one with someone not work related and preferably someone in recovery a certain amount of time to keep from getting "bored" and "isolating" in my own head if not physically.
I also come to SR way too much and that helps some too.
I get to start walking daily in another week (hope i still want to when that comes)...being outside even when it's cold or dreary can sorta clear away cobwebs for me.
I am expecting a phone call from someone in a little bit and that is important too...voice contact.
can you start a new project that will make you feel like you are accomplishing something?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Road to recovery
Posts: 866
DG, thank higher power that you figured out posting pic's before Halloween!!!
That had me worried so bad I was holding my breath the entire time. Notice I didn't post for about and hour and a half there.
Actually I'm working on putting a shelf in the bedroom closet. That way when we sell the house someday, I won't be missing out on the bored celibate woman market because it will hold a big stash of Duracells.
But seriously, when I'm bored that's when my mind goes to the "maybe I can be a social drinker" card. So far the best success I've had on that one is to stay busy until I actually get interested in what I'm doing. Kinda just tough it out until it passes. When it does pass I'm really happy because nothing is more boring than a hangover except for trying to get sober for the umpteenth time.
Hope my answer to being bored wasn't too boring.
That had me worried so bad I was holding my breath the entire time. Notice I didn't post for about and hour and a half there.
Actually I'm working on putting a shelf in the bedroom closet. That way when we sell the house someday, I won't be missing out on the bored celibate woman market because it will hold a big stash of Duracells.
But seriously, when I'm bored that's when my mind goes to the "maybe I can be a social drinker" card. So far the best success I've had on that one is to stay busy until I actually get interested in what I'm doing. Kinda just tough it out until it passes. When it does pass I'm really happy because nothing is more boring than a hangover except for trying to get sober for the umpteenth time.
Hope my answer to being bored wasn't too boring.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
Need to tell my drug story and sorry in advance it's waaay too long
I'm glad you're with us Ananda. You have good insight and also are a character so it's fun to watch you and Dancing Girl play off each other.
Jules - I figured you were busy. Write when you can and I hope all the doggies BEHAVE themselves this weekend.
SlvrMag - If my dog is awake her tongue is out pretty much. Boston's are very hyper when they are awake (30% of the time) and little cuddle bugs when they sleep (70% of the time).
BreakFree - I am so glad you are being honest and posting your thoughts. I agree with JIT, not enjoying your beers can be helpful for quitting. This thread is exactly how I need it to be. I need to talk also and just be honest. This place shouldn't become a popularity contest and I'm afraid one of my biggest weakness' is what Ananda described: the way I want others to perceive me and who I really am. The Portrait of Dorian Grey.
Joinedintime - Here's my TMI but I want to type it out like Breakfree typed out hers. It may help me. I don't know.
I've been taking vicodin and sometimes soma for pain for many years but I didn't abuse my pain meds. My neck literally twists and jerks in painful motion and at my worst I have large painful knots that a massage therapist tediously kneads out of my shoulder blades. I am always in pain to one degree or another. I find this exhausting and no one/nothing has ever been able to help me for long: physical therapy, pilates, massage, pills.
So I get a script when I feel like dealing with doctors but otherwise, I've been buying through my dealer boyfriend for about 4 years now, since his car accident. 7-10 vicodin a week for a year, then 14 for another year and now 30 (3-4 a day). I take a muscle relaxer at night sometimes but I'm not addicted to muscle relaxers at all. I know I'm a light weight in the substance abuse forum but I think it's different when you take pills for pain and become utterly addicted to them.
It became a powerful part of my relationship. A bargaining chip, a battle for control and I learned to keep my mouth shut. Getting off the alcohol really opened my eyes to how sick our relationship was and how I didn't even like this man. He had complete power over me. If I wasn't nice to him or said something wrong he'd send me into withdrawal. I got much better at pretending when I wasn't drinking. I could control my rage towards him easily.
I broke it off with the bf after Disnyeland and got my script and weaned off vicodin. Except 8 hours after I took my last pill my hands started to sweat and I felt that cold feeling in the pit of my stomach and I knew: I don't want to do this right now.
I was taken aback that as soon as I wanted my drug I figured out a way to get it. I can sniff out an addict 10 blocks away. This gal can get me anything so that I can kick down to her. She's a methadone girl who used to be a heroin junkie so she's not bringing me to people who sell vicodin. I had no idea what dilaudid was but she assured it was a painkiller and that I'd like it. I took 1/2 a pill and felt energenic, no euphoria or buzz at all and my pain was gone. I didn't know how much pain I was until it wasn't there. I felt great. Until I read about this drug and posted in the substance abuse forum to confirm my worst fears: drug store heroin. This is not what I wanted for myself. It's a junkie drug or for people who are in pain because they are dying. It's not for neck spasms kind of pain.
Anyway, thanks for letting me share. I realize I'm behind on the thread because I've been trying to decide if I was really going to post this LONG personal information but I am.
Jules - I figured you were busy. Write when you can and I hope all the doggies BEHAVE themselves this weekend.
SlvrMag - If my dog is awake her tongue is out pretty much. Boston's are very hyper when they are awake (30% of the time) and little cuddle bugs when they sleep (70% of the time).
BreakFree - I am so glad you are being honest and posting your thoughts. I agree with JIT, not enjoying your beers can be helpful for quitting. This thread is exactly how I need it to be. I need to talk also and just be honest. This place shouldn't become a popularity contest and I'm afraid one of my biggest weakness' is what Ananda described: the way I want others to perceive me and who I really am. The Portrait of Dorian Grey.
Joinedintime - Here's my TMI but I want to type it out like Breakfree typed out hers. It may help me. I don't know.
I've been taking vicodin and sometimes soma for pain for many years but I didn't abuse my pain meds. My neck literally twists and jerks in painful motion and at my worst I have large painful knots that a massage therapist tediously kneads out of my shoulder blades. I am always in pain to one degree or another. I find this exhausting and no one/nothing has ever been able to help me for long: physical therapy, pilates, massage, pills.
So I get a script when I feel like dealing with doctors but otherwise, I've been buying through my dealer boyfriend for about 4 years now, since his car accident. 7-10 vicodin a week for a year, then 14 for another year and now 30 (3-4 a day). I take a muscle relaxer at night sometimes but I'm not addicted to muscle relaxers at all. I know I'm a light weight in the substance abuse forum but I think it's different when you take pills for pain and become utterly addicted to them.
It became a powerful part of my relationship. A bargaining chip, a battle for control and I learned to keep my mouth shut. Getting off the alcohol really opened my eyes to how sick our relationship was and how I didn't even like this man. He had complete power over me. If I wasn't nice to him or said something wrong he'd send me into withdrawal. I got much better at pretending when I wasn't drinking. I could control my rage towards him easily.
I broke it off with the bf after Disnyeland and got my script and weaned off vicodin. Except 8 hours after I took my last pill my hands started to sweat and I felt that cold feeling in the pit of my stomach and I knew: I don't want to do this right now.
I was taken aback that as soon as I wanted my drug I figured out a way to get it. I can sniff out an addict 10 blocks away. This gal can get me anything so that I can kick down to her. She's a methadone girl who used to be a heroin junkie so she's not bringing me to people who sell vicodin. I had no idea what dilaudid was but she assured it was a painkiller and that I'd like it. I took 1/2 a pill and felt energenic, no euphoria or buzz at all and my pain was gone. I didn't know how much pain I was until it wasn't there. I felt great. Until I read about this drug and posted in the substance abuse forum to confirm my worst fears: drug store heroin. This is not what I wanted for myself. It's a junkie drug or for people who are in pain because they are dying. It's not for neck spasms kind of pain.
Anyway, thanks for letting me share. I realize I'm behind on the thread because I've been trying to decide if I was really going to post this LONG personal information but I am.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
mostly i just wanted to say BL that I think (just my opinion) that the hardest thing about being an alchoholic/adict is how to deal with it when there is a physcial pain and medication is medically indicated....just went through being on ocycodone for recovery from an operation...really scarry.
I realize not all dr.s can be trusted, but i think the saving thing for me was having a dr. i could trust and who i was totally honest with before i started the pain meds and then having friends who helped me to get thruogh the whole expereince by allowing me to talk freely about it.
I'll have to read your other posts kathleen...I'm real glad you are here.
(guess i'll wait a little longer for my depression nap)
I realize not all dr.s can be trusted, but i think the saving thing for me was having a dr. i could trust and who i was totally honest with before i started the pain meds and then having friends who helped me to get thruogh the whole expereince by allowing me to talk freely about it.
I'll have to read your other posts kathleen...I'm real glad you are here.
(guess i'll wait a little longer for my depression nap)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Eh? :)
Posts: 1,410
bl: so glad you posted!!! Can you go to a doctor and see if you can get these medicines figured out, in a way that isn't addicting? Can you go to some kind of pain-management centre to get the right treatment for you? I'm sooo happy you got rid of your bf!! I know that even though you know it's the right decision, it'll still be hard for you. It's hard breaking up with anyone, even if they are bad for us. So glad you're here, hon!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
crap kathleen..looks like you loged out....i read the other thread and i have to say it ticked me off that not one person said go to a dr......maybe you already know to do that....you know some of this stuff can kill you to come off incorrectly....I hope i'm not ticking you off...but please contact a dr and please be careful (i wanna be liked so don't be mad..)
((((((((HUG BOSTON LOV)))))))))
((((((((HUG BOSTON LOV)))))))))
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I'm exhausted from so little sleep last night, but too agitated to lie down for a nap. Still feeling sick, queasy and nauseous. Trying to watch STar Trek and relax but can't. Just feel rotten. Will have to go get youngest when she's ready to come here. I will be on my best behavior but will not let myself be pushed around.
Sick of feeling sick!!!
Sick of feeling sick!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
Ananda - I am not mad at you. I am relieved that my post didn't get tomatoes thrown at it. I just feel the need to be as honest as possible. I'm more afraid of my addictions then I am of being judged right now.
They didn't warn me to see a doctor because honestly the amounts I take are nothing compared to other people's plight in there. I understand that. It's like if someone came to me and said they felt horrible over 1/2 a bottle of wine. I'd be like, are you kidding? You'll be fine.
DG - You are right and I need to seriously consider this. I feel hopeful about that today. I need to look into my options instead of living like this. I think that's why I've been so honest here lately. It's practice for being honest outside of this place.
Thank you for letting me post my most inner demons. It has been helpful.
They didn't warn me to see a doctor because honestly the amounts I take are nothing compared to other people's plight in there. I understand that. It's like if someone came to me and said they felt horrible over 1/2 a bottle of wine. I'd be like, are you kidding? You'll be fine.
DG - You are right and I need to seriously consider this. I feel hopeful about that today. I need to look into my options instead of living like this. I think that's why I've been so honest here lately. It's practice for being honest outside of this place.
Thank you for letting me post my most inner demons. It has been helpful.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Eh? :)
Posts: 1,410
Darlin', as I told you in a pm, I posted about making poopey in a family restaurant. Your demons are pretty tame. 
However, I'm so glad you're thinking about what you're taking seriously. To me, popping pills and mixing meds that aren't prescribed is terrifying, especially when you didn't really know what some of them were. I'm so glad that you're posting and that you're being honest and that you know that this is something that you should look into. We loves ya!
However, I'm so glad you're thinking about what you're taking seriously. To me, popping pills and mixing meds that aren't prescribed is terrifying, especially when you didn't really know what some of them were. I'm so glad that you're posting and that you're being honest and that you know that this is something that you should look into.
We loves ya!
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