Class of July 2008 Part 5
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Hi BreakFree,
I do understand how you feel and I, too, was on a self-destructive path in my life. I, unconsciously, sabotaged every good thing that came along. I didn't believe that I deserved a goode life. It was that simple and that complex. I actually got anxious when good things happened to me, and hence, the sabotaging.
I realized that I had gotten way off track and I had to find a purpose in my life. The book "The Seat of the Soul" by Gary Zukav helped me a lot. I needed to find my soul's purpose in life in order to stay on track, and to feel fulfilled.
And, being a Mom is the hardest job there is. Staying home with your kids, is a great gift to give them. Yes, a lot of it can be tedious and mundane, but you are laying a groundwork for them that will last a lifetime. Maybe you can find a group in your community where Moms and kids get together, and both can enjoy each other's company.
I do understand how you feel and I, too, was on a self-destructive path in my life. I, unconsciously, sabotaged every good thing that came along. I didn't believe that I deserved a goode life. It was that simple and that complex. I actually got anxious when good things happened to me, and hence, the sabotaging.
I realized that I had gotten way off track and I had to find a purpose in my life. The book "The Seat of the Soul" by Gary Zukav helped me a lot. I needed to find my soul's purpose in life in order to stay on track, and to feel fulfilled.
And, being a Mom is the hardest job there is. Staying home with your kids, is a great gift to give them. Yes, a lot of it can be tedious and mundane, but you are laying a groundwork for them that will last a lifetime. Maybe you can find a group in your community where Moms and kids get together, and both can enjoy each other's company.
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
Originally Posted by ananda 
And yeah...deal with the if i get well i could drink socially thing another day.
My problem with alcohol began as a result of all of those things that I shared with you and I do need to restore myself to well-being, but it's not to be able to drink again, that's for sure. That's the last thing I ever think of. I struggle with giving up coffee, internet and laziness as much, if not more than I do alcohol. I can abstain from alcohol longer than I can coffee! LOL But nonetheless, I have become addicted to all these things and they need to go. I'm certain that once they do, I will be a much happier me. BUT, one more time for the record, since this is primarily an alcohol-abuse forum, my goal is to give up alcohol and NOT go back.
~M
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
Okay...last post, I promise. I need to warn you that I have another addiction...I am ADDICTED TO THINKING TOO MUCH. I always read over my posts because I worry that I am not explaining what I am trying to say in a way that people will understand. I am also fearful of coming across wrong and offending or hurting someones feelings. I am a total lover and a terrible fighter. I hate debate and never want to start one. I am a peace-maker. So anyway, as I re-read over my last post, because I was afraid that I didn't explain myself correctly, I realized that my "why's" aren't the most important thing...the important thing is to stop ALL these behaviours that are harmful...honestly, if you can believe this, all of these addictions that I shared with you are equally destroying my life. I can sit and share and talk forever, but that fact is, I need to ACT. You know...JUST DO IT. I have spent my entire morning surfing the internet...WAITING to feeling better when I know very well that my computer screen is not a magic genie!
Sitting here and sharing my issues is very motivating. Thank you for allowing me to open up and for being such a support to me!
I hope one day I can do the same for others...
~M
Sitting here and sharing my issues is very motivating. Thank you for allowing me to open up and for being such a support to me!
I hope one day I can do the same for others...~M
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Join Date: Jul 2008
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Good day all!!!
Toomuch: I'm sooo jealous that you can wear a bikini top!!! lol Those three kids of mine did too big a number on my stomach...skin is like turkey gobble now (joinedintime, how's THAT visual for you?! lol). Ok, so it was more the Caramilk bars during the pregnancy..you gotta work hard to gain 85 pounds for each kid! lol Anyways, you are now officially on the last of halloween costumes we want to see! Pictures better be followed through with! A lot of guys in this thread seem to be oddly committed to this. lol
BreakFree: Man, if I had to list everything that I've gotten addicted to that wasn't drug/booze related, we'd be here all day. lol I've gotten addicted to certain relationships, to dieting, to exercising, to shopping, to specific foods, to tons of things really. I wonder if there are alcoholics out there who were ONLY addicted to booze, without any of it creeping into other aspects of their lives?
joinedintime: i simply will not believe that there was ZERO thoughts of slutty pirates for you last night! Haha! Although I do find it funny that you felt the need to clarify your position with your wife.
It's all good, bro!
Bostonluv: I bet you're thinking that your "made up story" seems pretty tame now compared to the bizzarity that ran through this thread yesterday, eh? lol
Ananda: lol...yeah, i really thought I got us shut down yesterday...it was right after I told scoob (in brackets, though! so that shouldn't count, right??) what I'd pm'd to joinedintime in the last thread.
Everyone: you should all be thrilled to know that my new pair of above-the-knee boots that I ordered have arrived and look divine! The halloween count-down is in full affect now!
Toomuch: I'm sooo jealous that you can wear a bikini top!!! lol Those three kids of mine did too big a number on my stomach...skin is like turkey gobble now (joinedintime, how's THAT visual for you?! lol). Ok, so it was more the Caramilk bars during the pregnancy..you gotta work hard to gain 85 pounds for each kid! lol Anyways, you are now officially on the last of halloween costumes we want to see! Pictures better be followed through with! A lot of guys in this thread seem to be oddly committed to this. lol
BreakFree: Man, if I had to list everything that I've gotten addicted to that wasn't drug/booze related, we'd be here all day. lol I've gotten addicted to certain relationships, to dieting, to exercising, to shopping, to specific foods, to tons of things really. I wonder if there are alcoholics out there who were ONLY addicted to booze, without any of it creeping into other aspects of their lives?
joinedintime: i simply will not believe that there was ZERO thoughts of slutty pirates for you last night! Haha! Although I do find it funny that you felt the need to clarify your position with your wife.
It's all good, bro! Bostonluv: I bet you're thinking that your "made up story" seems pretty tame now compared to the bizzarity that ran through this thread yesterday, eh? lol
Ananda: lol...yeah, i really thought I got us shut down yesterday...it was right after I told scoob (in brackets, though! so that shouldn't count, right??) what I'd pm'd to joinedintime in the last thread.
Everyone: you should all be thrilled to know that my new pair of above-the-knee boots that I ordered have arrived and look divine! The halloween count-down is in full affect now!
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
OK...i've decided that since there is no class of July 07 thread...i get to be here!
besides...right now I feel like i'm starting over...no i didn't drink or use....just in a funk....
sigh....other people have a right to make stupid decisions.
OK...I'll lighten up now.....
Joinedintime...i cannot even tell you of the image now stuck in my head of doing it in my candy corn costume....it's really hilarious...good thing I'm celebate!
besides...right now I feel like i'm starting over...no i didn't drink or use....just in a funk....
sigh....other people have a right to make stupid decisions.
OK...I'll lighten up now.....
Joinedintime...i cannot even tell you of the image now stuck in my head of doing it in my candy corn costume....it's really hilarious...good thing I'm celebate!
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Road to recovery
Posts: 866
Breakfree, maybe you needed a night of drinking and not enjoying it at all. It has motivated you to really open up today.
I've seen CarolD post a link to this thread for people, including myself, that have been in similar stages of wanting to quit alcohol.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
You might be able to dig out a nugget or two there.
All this change is a process or a journey. It's not like flipping a switch. Make a little progress here and there and acknowledge that to yourself. For example, make part of your internet time something that you consider productive. Think of something you want to know, or want to do or be or improve and look it up. Just like how you found SR. Finding SR was productive and a positive change in your life right?
You're on the right road.
I've seen CarolD post a link to this thread for people, including myself, that have been in similar stages of wanting to quit alcohol.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
You might be able to dig out a nugget or two there.
All this change is a process or a journey. It's not like flipping a switch. Make a little progress here and there and acknowledge that to yourself. For example, make part of your internet time something that you consider productive. Think of something you want to know, or want to do or be or improve and look it up. Just like how you found SR. Finding SR was productive and a positive change in your life right?
You're on the right road.
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Eh? :)
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ananda: hahaha...all i can picture is hearing popcorn popping during "the deed"!! lol Too funny! I wish I were celibate...or was able to be celibate...would make my life a lot easier (but Duracell's stocks would go down! lol). What's got you in a funk, though, missy? Why do you feel you're starting over? Wanna talk about it?
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Road to recovery
Posts: 866
Ananda, that is a funny visual. Thanks for cleansing my mind from the turkey gobble scene. Haha. You have to admit that DG gives us visuals at both extremes, doesn't she?
DG, honestly...I didn't think of pirate costumes or candy corn. If I'm lying may I never look at another slutty pic for as long as I live. (Now you know I'm telling the truth). In the interest of full disclosure I do admit that I thought of your avatar pic for a fleeting second but I put it out of my mind right away.
On a completely different topic: Anyone heard from WishIWasNormal? Long time no posts.
DG, honestly...I didn't think of pirate costumes or candy corn. If I'm lying may I never look at another slutty pic for as long as I live. (Now you know I'm telling the truth). In the interest of full disclosure I do admit that I thought of your avatar pic for a fleeting second but I put it out of my mind right away.
On a completely different topic: Anyone heard from WishIWasNormal? Long time no posts.
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
Originally Posted by joinedintime
Breakfree, maybe you needed a night of drinking and not enjoying it at all. It has motivated you to really open up today.
Originally Posted by dancinggirl
...(but Duracell's stocks would go down! lol)
Originally Posted by stone
I was originally a July guy too but I drank so many times since I stopped posting here...
Well, I really need to get my butt in gear before this day is over. I am going to my parent's house for dinner this evening and I know there will be all kinds of seasonal beer for the sampling. I WILL check back in when I get home this evening...
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Join Date: Jul 2008
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Originally Posted by dancinggirl
ananda: hahaha...all i can picture is hearing popcorn popping during "the deed"!! lol Too funny! I wish I were celibate...or was able to be celibate...would make my life a lot easier (but Duracell's stocks would go down! lol). What's got you in a funk, though, missy? Why do you feel you're starting over? Wanna talk about it?
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Join Date: Jul 2008
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Hmm...I don't like it when people go missing. 
I'd rather they say what's happening, even if it's that they're still drinking. Time gets away from us too easily when we drink and not stay grounded somehow, even if it is just through an SR website.
I'd rather they say what's happening, even if it's that they're still drinking. Time gets away from us too easily when we drink and not stay grounded somehow, even if it is just through an SR website.
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Join Date: Jul 2008
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Aw crap, joinedintime, I said it wrong!! And I am NEVER wrong!!! NEEEVVVERRRR!!!! lol Reverse what I said...heck, I'm trying to figure it out and I can't now...let's see if I've got this right: me no getting nooky....me stocking up on batteries....me placated. There! Confusion all gone now!
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: England
Posts: 674
Breakfree, I relate to so much of your post. I am a SAHM mum too. I have 3 daughters, I also get addicted to loads of things. Not sure addiction is the right word for me though, it's more probably bordering on obsessive compulsive disorder or something. Most of my "addictions" last a couple of weeks before I move on to the next. I have been truely addicted to games though so I totally understand that one. Alcohol and cigarettes just keep me company through all the others and they don't seem to ever end. I guess the chemical componant is what makes the difference.
Stone, you belong here as much as me lol. You know you were the first person who talked to me when I first signed up here all those years ago, I allways like to hear from you, so you should post here more often even though we are both now honery members
I can't remember what else I was going to say, there has been a lot of posts since I looked this morning.
Sax
Stone, you belong here as much as me lol. You know you were the first person who talked to me when I first signed up here all those years ago, I allways like to hear from you, so you should post here more often even though we are both now honery members
I can't remember what else I was going to say, there has been a lot of posts since I looked this morning.
Sax
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I don't really know whats going on with me DC.....but thanks....not trying to be secrative really...well maybe a little
I really like being sober, so this funk really sucks. Its starting to grow some anger around the edges...never a good sign....
If I saw you people in person right now i would be all quiet sullen and noncommunicative.....somehow on the computer i can participate in a way that i seem unable to in real life right now..
but you know that isn't even really true cause it's only been the last 2 days....i tend to think in terms of always or forever
When i can step back and see the transetory (spelling?) nature of these things I feel less draw to alchohol...when it think in always terms i am more drawn toward the alchohol...so i have learned to watch my thinking
I'm not sure if we are honorary members or just horny members
I really like being sober, so this funk really sucks. Its starting to grow some anger around the edges...never a good sign....
If I saw you people in person right now i would be all quiet sullen and noncommunicative.....somehow on the computer i can participate in a way that i seem unable to in real life right now..
but you know that isn't even really true cause it's only been the last 2 days....i tend to think in terms of always or forever
When i can step back and see the transetory (spelling?) nature of these things I feel less draw to alchohol...when it think in always terms i am more drawn toward the alchohol...so i have learned to watch my thinking
I'm not sure if we are honorary members or just horny members
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Join Date: Jul 2008
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ananda: i get the same way on my "down days".....I think it's something that will last forever...until it doesn't. I sometimes get where I don't even like being out in public, where having someone look at me is too invasive at that moment, where I don't want to have to even be seen, let alone spoken to. Just remember that even that will pass.
I sometimes get where I don't even like being out in public, where having someone look at me is too invasive at that moment, where I don't want to have to even be seen, let alone spoken to. Just remember that even that will pass.
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Join Date: Apr 2008
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How do you post pictures on this message board? I'm dolling my kids up for a community halloween party, and i've done a great job on my daughter's witch make up if I do say so myself.
I think i'll leave the Orc mask at home though, there might be small children.
I think i'll leave the Orc mask at home though, there might be small children.
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