ClimbingUP

I'm on day 6 (again, hopefully last time). I have had a great week so far. It started out really rough--I had been going in and out of a depression for the past couple of months, and I think I finally had enough. Usually that happens with me--I get so sick of hearing myself complain about something that I won't let myself complain about it anymore--I have to do something. This took a bit longer than I'd like, but I've been dealing with some crappy stuff.

I went to my 2nd ever AA meeting on Wednesday and then called two of my close friends and told them I'm an alcoholic. I've decided to stop living my life ashamed of myself. I'm tired of beating myself up over stuff that I should have left behind a long time ago. Yeah, I make mistakes. But I'm a really nice person and I'm I good to the people I care about, and that's what counts.

I've made a few really healthy realizations over the past days too. I call them my epiphanies. I feel like my adult life has been a series of epiphanies about my behavior and how I can change it for the better. I even went on a 25 mile bike ride today during which I couldn't help repeating over and over to myself--Life is Great.

Oh, I can't tell you how good it feels when you don't feel depressed after having been depressed (and drunk) for so long. This time last week I was drunk. I had been drunk all day. And the day before. When Sunday came around, I struggled with wanting to go to the liquor store. I am so glad that I stayed home!!

Oh, and it's Caturday!!!

least

That's a gorgeous cat! I love the little white spot on the nose!

Cats rock!

I'm glad you're finding a good social life in AA. There are so many good people in those rooms... and now you're one of them!!

:ghug3

ClimbingUP

Oh, that cat's not mine. I found him online--but he does look like a really cool cat. Such a perfect 'Sup' moment.

These two are mine.

CarolD

Hi ClimbingUp....

My situational (alcoholic) depression is why I started AA.
Within a short time...I felt it lift
and it vanished rather quickly ...2 or 3 months.

I do so hope you will find this true for you

SelfSeeking

Climbing, your cats are pretty. I would like to borrow them for a lap sit! Can I PM you my mailing address? Or I can send you a self-addressed stamped envelope!

Irenie, welcome... btw that was not "just" day 4, it was: day 4, ta-da! These early days are hard fought. You're doing great.

ForeverDecember

Hi guys. I' m here. I had a big talk withmy boyfriends last night. It was a good talk. He works hospitality, so I very hardly see him. I was saying how we never see each other and asked him if that bothered him. He (eventually) said that what bothered him was that it bothered me so much that we don't see each other and yet he can't compete witht the bottle, because on the few nights I could see him I chose to drink.I cried when he said this because I know that it's true. I honestly said to him that I get lonely. I get lonely all the time because he works from 2pm until 2am and I never see him, and my friends that I see in between time are drinkers. That's what they do, and that's what I do when I'm with them.

I've realised that I can't keep living in this tiny town. Another year here and I'll be dead, in jail or in a institute.

lostbutterfly

I had to look for my last post to work out which day I was on. Day 10!!
Is that a good sign that I'm losing count? Or is it that I've had to start again so many times?

shanman422

Good Morning ALL... today is 14 days for me.... WOW, I'm so happy I made it this far. Yet excited to one day be saying it's day 44, day 89, etc. I know it will be hard and I will continue to take it one hour/day/week at a time! I will just keep coming to this wonderful environment of support and keep kicking through... hopefully!

I'm a little tired today... the time change always goobs everything up. Everyone always says, yeah, we get an extra hour to sleep in the morning... well not me with my rug rat... my 2 1/2 year son has no concept of time change... haha... he was ready to go at 6:00 this morning. So we have been playing and cleaning house. It's been a great morning so far! These are the times I want to remember... it's an insentive of why I don't want to pick up a drink!!!

Let's keep on trucking!

lostbutterfly

Congrats Shanman! nearly two weeks!! I know what you mean about moments that give you incentive to stay sober - I've had a good few with my kids lately. And also moments when I realise how beautiful everything is!

Chris80

Hello all, I'm back on day 2 again.

Some of you might remember me posting a few weeks back asking about telling my boss if I was an alcoholic or not. Well it is now time to bite the bullet and tell him that I need to go to rehab. Unfortunately, I haven't worked at my company long enough to qualify to the Family Medical Leave Act (I think a national law, might just be certain states), so I have to work out an agreement with the company to keep my job. I will be taking an unpaid leave (which is fine, because I have been absent so much that I will be fired soon anyway) and heading to rehab. I have an admission appointment at the hospital on Tuesday.

Even though I haven't posted here much as of yet, reading the messages has helped me a lot. I managed to stay sober for over 2 weeks, but then relapsed and was in bed drunk for 2 1/2 days.

I received some good advice this morning from a good friend in recovery who told me that no matter what, the clean time that we have is ours and can never be taken away. So remember not to get depressed after relapsing and be thankful for the time that you acquired. My previous 59 day record that I have kept relapsing after is now just a record that I want to beat. I hope that everyone is doing well in sobriety today.

Does anyone know if there are live online meetings? I can get to a meeting today, but have no license so I can't always make one... any advice? If I skip a day, it becomes a week, then 2 weeks, then a relapse.

Horselover

How about when you go to the meeting today you ask for phone numbers and if there's anyone you can share rides with. I have heard that many AA'ers will give people rides to meetings as there are many with licenses revoked. I think f2f would be important for you right now and no, I personally don't know of any online meetings. I'm sure someone else might know. Good luck and glad to see you are taking action and have a plan. Keep coming back!!

Chris80

Thanks Horeslover. I totally agree that face to face is better. I catch rides a lot of the time, but sometimes schedules conflict and I figured online was better than no meeting. People are very kind with rides around here because many have lost their license in the past - I know I will be when I earn the license back (someday...)

I found an online chat if anyone is interested - they have meetings too. A google search will bring it up - but I can't post here because I don't have 15 posts yet.

mtnmagic

So many people posting to this thread and working hard on their recovery.
This gives me such hope and inspiration. I am so glad to be apart of this.
We all deserve a better life. Oh yes we do!:ghug

CarolD

To find on line meetings....Google has many.
I have used Pal Talk ...aA on line....*****...

Before posting direct links on SR ..you need
to be aware of our posting rules.
The guidelines are in our SR Policy Rules & regs Forum.

They are also on a sticky post in our Alcoholism Forum.

That saves confusion and deletion of direct links.

Thanks for following our SR directions...

CarolD

Good to see you again Chris80...

I can relate....due to my vision ...I had to quit
driving several years ago. So I too depend
on my AA friends for rides.

Something I started to do...knowing they won't
take money from me for a ride....
I buy their first coffee or cold drink at
the meeting hall.
It's a gesture that is appreciated...

Let's all continue to win over addiction!

four812

some wonderful recovery here....congradulations everyone

I'm in my 21st day clean

i'm doing pretty good. and My goal is to stay clean today. period.

least

Ksplash!! 21 days clean!!! Way to go!! I'm proud of you! Love ya lots!:ghug3

SelfSeeking

Congrats, ksplash

Dee74

WTG ksplash



D

BrixtonBear

Well done to everyone on this thread! There is so much great recovery here!

I've made it to 2 weeks since my last drink - today is day 15. I could never have got this far without all the support and encouragement on this thread - I'm really, really grateful!

I feel happy. Quite exhausted, but happy. I'm mindful that I got to 2 weeks the first time I was in SR, back in the spring. I then fell into the trap of the Incredibly Short Memory, forgot that I was still recovering, dipped my foot into the water and spent the next four months as a drunk. I'm not going to make the same mistake this time!

I now know that feeling well and happy tomorrow depends on not picking up a drink today.

Thanks for helping me!!!
Sending good wishes to everyone here
Paddington