Paulie

A few weeks ago a sponsee of mine got her 90 chip about 5 days early at a meeting. When I explained to her that she needed to wait for the 90 days to come she said the secretary of the meeting said anyone celebrating within that week could get their chip. I assumed she had misunderstood, I have never heard of that in my area at all.

Today at a meeting a woman said she will have 6 years on Thursday....she got her 6 year chip today!! I was shocked. I have never seen that done, people say 'no front in NA'!

I was just wondering how some of you in other fellowships in other parts of the country do it.

There have been times over the years that I have waited weeks to get a chip cause I missed the night or my sobriety date fell at an odd time, never early.

Any thoughts????

CarolD

I'd be having a talk with the group secretary.
... I have never heard of this in AA.
I think it absolutely wrong.

It's just not the honest thing to do.
Period.

Freedom1990

I'd have to co-sign with Carol on that one. I've never seen/heard of that being done.

kj3880

What if they are having a celebration night meeting for everyone in that week that has an anniversary? Then it is not dishonest, especially if they read out the real date at the celebration. They deserve to get a big celebration, as big as we can make it! It's a hard won victory and it needs to be marked. Us new people get so much from these celebrations.
KJ

serenityqueen

:wtf2 I have never heard of anything like this.

I have also had to wait to get my AA token (we call them tokens) and NA keytag because it was maybe a day or two early. That's like counting your chickens before they hatch.

Kinda goes against the One Day at a Time theme, doesn't it?

Judy

Lily

Never heard of it, I have never done it, and I do not agree w/ it. It is a one day at a time program. All we have is today. It could be a small way of taking a step in the wrong direction which could lead to bigger missteps and a possible relaspe. My opinion.

Paulie

kj3880 - we were all new in the beginning and we all celebrated big! and still do LOL sometimes. And the woman I am talking about could celebrate next Monday when they give out chips again, after she has passed the 6 year mark.

Well I think it might be something that is starting in our fellowship.....hmmmmm not sure I am liking it.

It is a one day at a time program.

Thanks, I was just really wondering if it was something done in other areas, but I didnt think so.

Gmoney

Nope!! It's not done in my area either. For example, if a member stands and says, "I'll have 6 years in two more days!!" , the group says in unison, "Keep coming back!!"

Whatever happened to, "This too I must earn????" You get your key tag, token, coin or chip ONCE YOU EARN IT...not before. I've seen members who were given someone else's coin (prior to their milestone) and they relapsed!! Mind you, I don't believe in jinxes, but why risk it? Patience is supposed to be one of the spiritual principles of this program, and we can't help the newer members learn to practice it by prematurely handing out clean time symbols they're supposed to earn.

It hasn't and doesn't happen in my area.

yogurt75

Virtually all of the groups I've attended celebrate on the last meeting night/day of the month. That is when the celebrants collect their chips, tokens, coins, keychains, pins etc. The AA book does say that one cannot transmit something they haven't got - that goes for time as well. If ya ain't got it yet don't take credit for it or celebrate something that hasn't happened yet.

I can announce that I will have.... years, days, months, etc on such and such a date. That doesn't mean I have the right to lie (remember rigorous honesty) and take a whatever in honor of something I haven't yet achieved. As my anniversary falls in the middle of the month, I don't get to celebrate until the end of that month. Big Deal and so what!

If you are telling white lies, black lies, big lies, small lies regarding your date, what else are you lying about? I waited all these years to celebrate my _____ anniversary, what harm would it do to wait a few more days or weeks.

Doug

There's a meeting here in my area, one, that does it that way. I'm kind of surprised Trad. 4 has been brought up in this thread yet....

NoelleR

At the center where I got clean, there are approximately 30-40 small groups who meet there, but we have one combined anniversary/birthday celebration, usually on the last Saturday of the month (everybody celebrates who had a birthday/anniversary in that month; noone celebrates next month, even if their clean date falls into the remaining days of the month after the birthday/anniversary meeting....AND there are some months where the celebration Saturday meeting is held on the second-to-last Saturday of the month (holidays 'n such).

Since my clean date is in the end of the month, there have been times when I celebrated before my actual date, as did many others.....I see it as celebrating in the month of one's clean date.....I wouldn't celebrate in July for my clean date in June.....this has never bothered me in the slightest; neither for me, nor for anyone else who was/is celebrating....it's just the way our center has always done this, and so I'm used to it.....[now don't take this as being too arrogant, self-righteous, or egotistical, but when I celebrated I knew I wasn't going to pick up between the date of the celebration and my actual clean date-----rigoruous honesty, I just knew it.....cause I've always said two things, which to me mean the same thing, but to some not.....: when I first started in recovery, I said right from the start...'no mor picking up for me; I will never pick up again' (of course I was 'told' to never say never), and more recently I've changed that to the more politically correct phrase.....'no matter what I won't pick up'..... (o: ]

I guess this is kinda like a live and let live kinda thing.....I can understand most of y'alls points; but like I said, I guess I just got used to a different way....and for most it's worked for quite a while........... (o:


NoelleR

NoelleR

I guess I should have stipulated in my previous post that all the 'lesser' (less than one year) chips were given out at the smaller groups, on the speciific day, and not ahead of time (only the yearly chips subject to the possibility of being given out ahead of time). (o:


NoelleR

Paulie

Well Doug I didnt even think of that because it just started happening, at no time did the group make a decision to get your chip in the week that your bday is. And Doug, you know me well, I am not one to 'nit pick' the program LOL.

It is funny, my H asked me last night why this bothers me so much so I really had to think about it.

When I got clean, it was huge for me to hit those marks and get those tags/chips (just like everyone else). I remember the feeling of knowing I had for example 3 more days until I was clean 90 days. I remember 'old timers' telling me, 'no fronts in NA, you have 3 more days' and stuff like that. That meant alot to me, IMO they were teaching me by making me wait. As was mentioned above, honesty, integrity, responsbility....all those lessons are learned in not just the big things we learn in recovery, but the small ones to.

As I said in the beginning. I just wanted to get some opinions on how things work in other parts of the country. I wasnt sure if it was my little corner of the world that was doing things different.

Thanks all who shared.

Gmoney

"....except in matters affecting other groups, or NA as a whole."

Doug, you got me thinking about some of the topics the old-timers in my area have been recently discussing, and it kind of relates to Tradition 4. Basically, they are saying that we've gotten away from doing so many things (the way we were taught) that now it's hard (if not impossible) to reverse course. I can imagine how something like giving out clean time symbols in advance can eventually become common once a group here or there starts doing it. Of course, groups have the right to govern themselves, but their decisions need to be carefully considered...especially in regard to how those decisions can affect the practices of other groups or NA as a whole.

Thundar301

I heard the "NO FRONTS IN N.A." many times my 1st year as I updated my clean "days" at a meeting , and I kept coming back to get the chip I was earning doing so, well that wasn't the only reason I kept coming back LOL Recovery of my life was..the major reason! but I have aquired 1,332 days clean working on that so far, with no fronts....Dean

REZ

Addicts have trouble with delayed gratification of any kind. What is common in my area is someone will say, "Anyone for 6 months?" And some people may say, "working on it." As an oldtimer I find this a little irritating, as it shows a lack of humility and patience. We're all working on some chip or another but we don't need to tell everyone!

justanothrdrunk

My home group does a quarterly medallion night. There have been some who get theirs a little early. Not sure if there's an official cut-off point or anything.

I also attend another group that does monthly medallions. They too allow for early medallions.

Personally, I just think it's bad luck. I won't accept mine even a day early. I've never given much thought to the traditions or if it's something that really shouldn't be done. Ever since I've been in the program I've heard of/seen others get theirs a little early from time to time.

jazpoppy

Meetings in my area do chips (AA) or keytags (NA) at each meeting. That's once a week that each group meets, sometimes groups meet two or three times a week and chips are done at each of those. My advice would be to find a meeting in your area on your anniversary date and go to it to celebrate if you cannot wait until the next time around, but don't take credit early, its bad karma.

Jaz

2ala2

Never early around here. I've never heard someone even suggest it.
It's easy for an addict like me to want things too easy, too fast, and too much. This is recovery, the NA way, which means living by spiritual principles..

Sugah

My home group meets twice a week, on Wednesdays and Saturdays. We do anniversaries at every meeting, though an abbreviated version: "Anyone for their first 24 hrs? Any anniversaries in increments of months? Years?" Occasionally, someone will announce that they have an anniversary a few days hence, and I'll pick out the coin, tuck it into an empty slot, and tell them, "I'll save that for you till Wednesday (or Saturday)." I've never had anyone come over to demand their coin - and the message very gently gets through.

Peace & Love,
Sugah