gettin depressed
 

things arnt goin well right now
sometimes when its like this I have a flash thought
of useing again.
dont know what the future holds for me
so so confused at times.
But it does help comin in here and reading
and comunicating with U wonderful people

I have sorta elected not to do meetings
as I am not at home.
I cheated addition by staying away from
home and all resorses of the pretty little
white, blue, pink, orange, brown, yellow
ect... demons

dont crave but wonder if I'll get to go
back home

someone reasure me
please!

Sorry to hear your having a hard time.Why are yoy avoiding meetings? Can you get to one tonight?

((( rigidiman))) Hang in there and don't use. I found the growth I needed in doing the 12 Steps of AA/NA anonymous. check out some meetings. They don't bite! All your going to find either here or at meetings is a bunch of people just like you who are willing to love you until you can learn to love yourself. Don't isolate anymore.

Please don't use.

Try going to meetings. You will find all of us wonderful people there. It is said to try 90 meetings in 90 days to see if you like what we have to offer.

not against meetings
 

just would rather start at home
I could probably find some here
400 miles from home but Ive heard
of dealers hideing behind NA to
make money and I already know aaalll tha dealers at home
me being one at one time. But I didnt do it to make money
just to save it. we addicts become pretty smart in finding
ways of gettin our pills.

Sometimes you may hear of a dealer here and there. They usually don't last too long. It doesn't take much for someone to figure out who they are and what they are doing to make it stop.

Chances of running into a dealer are there, but they are pretty slim. Don't let fear stop you from finding recovery. Our disease will help us find any excuse it can to keep us away from getting better.

What Laurie said.

(((rigidman)))

I got sober online... didn't go anywhere until I had a few months clean and sober... I really developed a wonderful bunch of online friends who helped me so very much.
I hope you have the same wonderful experience I had! Stick around cuz it works!

feelin a little better
 

am very strong on my choice not to use, its just a flash thought
uno when the now weaker side of addition mind says doit but before
tha (it) comes out, the stronger now clean mind shuts it off.