I am now Starting to UNDERSTAND
 

:bananadan I am now starting to understand this thing about choice I believe, at least I think I am. I have really been struggeling here for the past few days, and I have been hanging on with every ounce of energy that I have. I have not been posting because I don't want to sit here and complain when a lot of other people are having it a lot worse of than me. But I did have a choice, you are all right, I either choose to use, or not. Well I just thank God that I did not choose to use, and it was really close, it was really hard for me the other day.

I hear all the time that we will think about this the rest of our lives, is this really true? And if this is true, this is going to end up being a fight for our lives. I have always gave in to this disease, and I am tired of going in that direction. Sometimes I feel as if I am not worth it, that is what goes on in my mind. But then again they say that our thinkers are broke that is hard to accept to sometimes. I am not sure where I am going with all of this today, I am just feeling alittle different and I suppose that I am right where I need to be, but I don't like it.

I am getting real close to having my 90 days, and if I make it that will be the longest period that I have had since my slip(sobriety looses it's priority) in April of 2004. I did have almost two years then and was really happy with life, but I let my character defects take me over on April 16 and that was the wrong thing to do, except that I am grateful for it because it has given me a new look at myself. Well I better stop!:bunny5:

Your thoughts or "complaints" can and do help others. So please don't hold back on your thoughts. It helps to know that others are having problems the same as you.

Hang in there, Vic. You're doing great! Your problems and frustrations are just as important as anyone else's, so don't pull back from posting them or asking for help from others. That's what we're all here for.

qwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww <--------------- See! Even my cat had advice for you. LOL! She seems to think this keyboard is for her royal highness kitty paws to walk upon at any whim ...)

Anyway, I'm excited for you coming up on 90 days! That's awesome!

I hope you have a wonderful day!