cleanlady

Cleanlady here, I found this letter that I got in rehab last year, I found it so powerful, I thought others would to. Here it is : I hate meetings. I hate higher power. I hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me: I wish death & I wish you suffering. Now allow me to introduce myself. I am the desease of addiction... powerful that's me! I have killed millions & I'm pleased. I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I'm your friend & lover.I have given you comfort, have I not? Wasn't I there when you were lonely? I love when I make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry...you can't feel anything at all, this is true glory. I give you instant gratification. I've always been there for you. When things are going right in you life, you invited me in. You said you didn't deserve these good things, & I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all good things in your life & all I ask from you is was long term suffering. People don't take me seriously: they take strokes seriously, heart attacks even diabetes. Fools that they are,they don't know without my help these things would not be possible. I am such a hated disease, yet I do not come uninvited, you choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality, peace& serenity. More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a 12 step program. Your meetings, Your HIGHER POWER, all weaken me & don't allow me to function in the manner I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here quietly. You don't see me but I am growing bigger than ever, when you allow me to control you I live. When you live I can't. But I am alive.... & until we meet again... I wish you continued death & suffering. Everytime I read this I am reminded of how life used to be. I'm so gratful for life &being clean, I hope someone sees what I saw the 1st time I read this.

namommy

Thanks.

I was so happy to see you posted. And, you posted something long.

I hope you don't mind, but I need to borrow your thread for 1 moment.
HELP! I can't start new threads, and when you come into a forum it is not showing when I was the last to post to a thread. It's almost like I am a ghost.

Sorry.

I really like this letter, I always have. Thanks for posting it. It is a good reminder to me about why I feel the way I do sometimes.

Gooch

Must have used up your lifetime limit already ( j/k)





you cleared all your cookies and tried relogging in?

namommy

Oh, I guess Mods get a longer lifetime huh? j/k

michski

Yep, The first time I read that I was in rehab and it rocked my reality! Especially the part about being numb and taking from me all things that were good... so true!