Positive self talk was a bit of a dead loss for me. Where was the evidence to back up the assertion, as I look in the mirror "Hey Mike, you are a great guy!" It was a lie. My big problem was I had standards that I could not live up to. There was no basis for positive self talk. I was always in fear of being found out.
So the issue became how to live in a way that justified a better opinion of my self. First recognise the problems and talk them out. Next clean up the mess, pay what I owe, make things right.
The question that arose at the end of that process, which one might recognise as working the steps, is "what is left to forgive?"
Brilliant end result is I now find I can live up to most if not all of my ideals. I can look in the mirror, but there is no need to say anything.
What you most need will be found where you least want to look
All BB quotes from 1st Edition.