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Alisha2928 06-09-2019 02:52 PM

Positive Self Talk??
 
Hi all! So I really struggle with my self esteem and putting myself down. What is some positive self talk or what helps you to love yourself and keep the negative thoughts away? Thanks:grouphug:

Gottalife 06-22-2019 02:26 AM

Positive self talk was a bit of a dead loss for me. Where was the evidence to back up the assertion, as I look in the mirror "Hey Mike, you are a great guy!" It was a lie. My big problem was I had standards that I could not live up to. There was no basis for positive self talk. I was always in fear of being found out.

So the issue became how to live in a way that justified a better opinion of my self. First recognise the problems and talk them out. Next clean up the mess, pay what I owe, make things right.

The question that arose at the end of that process, which one might recognise as working the steps, is "what is left to forgive?"

Brilliant end result is I now find I can live up to most if not all of my ideals. I can look in the mirror, but there is no need to say anything.

Thorny1 01-01-2021 04:04 PM

Greetings and serenity.
I am an addict. My name is Jim T. I have learned that self-talk is that internal dialogue I have with myself any time I'm in front of a mirror. I think it reveals my thoughts, belief and questions. I also think it can be both negative and positive. It can be encouraging of distressing. Self-talk depends on my personality. If I'm an optimist, it is hopeful and positive; and the opposite is generally true when I tend to be a pessimistic. When I first got started, I thought I was the center of the universe so I used this "positive/negative" self-talk as my primary tool to change my thought patterns to positive only. After all, if I find myself being negative, I am going to reap negative benefits. The sooner I change to a positive outlook, the sooner I will feel better. Positive thinking has become my primary stress management tool! After all, having a more positive outlook on life provides me you some health benefits (i.e. a 2010 study shows optimists have a better quality of life). I believe if all our self-talk is negative, all I need to di is to learn how to shift my inner dialogue. It helps me to be a more positive person, and it improves my health and well being. It's all good. Hugs. Blessings and peace. Jim T

Climber122 11-13-2022 11:26 AM

Hi Alisha,

There's a lot going on with your feelings that likely need to be sorted through in therapy or a support group. A lot of us turned to substances exactly because they enabled us to either feel more intensely or numb ourselves to feelings we didn't want. It's very normal to not "feel" the impact of positive self talk. Have you ever tried to "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps?" Pretty tough! I would encourage you to work with someone to lean into however you are right now, today. If you feel like positive self talk is hard or doesn't seem to change how you feel there's definitely a reason. This is some of the wonderful (and often painful) change that we are confronted with in recovery. Get curious about how you feel when you're trying to be positive with yourself. There's no outcome you "should" have. How you feel is uniquely your experience right now. Staying with that and allowing that to guide you to a new way of being... that's the work and it's slow and confusing... and the best thing you'll ever do! :)


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