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-   -   I feel like using! (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/34181-i-feel-like-using.html)

namommy 07-19-2004 07:17 AM

I feel like using!
 
I have had the night from he**. I went to bed last night with the desire to use, then I had dope dreams all night. I still have that feeling like I want to use. I am shaking, my stomach is in knots, my head is racing and I feel like there is a hole in my chest where my heart should be.

My life is very full, and for the most part it is good. Except for the health issues which I thought I had surrendered and turned over to God. But, I am also having terrible migraine headaches. I spent saturday night curled up in the fetal position crying because they were so bad. I was given migraine meds to take but they only eased up the pain a little, they didn't take away the migraine. My husband thinks that maybe that 1 pill (It had codeine in it) triggered something in me. I think he may be right. I have had to take codeine before for pain from surgeries and such, but it never did this to me. I take the 1 pill then usually throw away the rest of the prescription. I only took the 1 pill this time too. I just can't stand the pain in my head anymore. My primary doctor is pissing me off because he keeps blowing me off like I am some kind of whacko.

I am only 26 days away from my 8 year anniversary. I am doing and will continue to do what I have been taught in NA to help this pass. I know this too shall pass, but it SUCKS right now.

I need prayers and suggestions for the headaches. Thanks

splendra 07-19-2004 07:29 AM

((((((((namommy))))))))-

Hugs & prayers coming your way. One minute at the time is good just for today ya know...

Gooch 07-19-2004 07:41 AM

Been days I had to hold a pillow over my head and scream into it. And I'm not talking about just in the first year.

Yup this too shall pass.... Give yourself a break and take the "me" time to get through to the other side.

I have had bouts of severe headaches... I use advil, aleve, or arthritus strength tylenol. I have a microwaveable heating pad that I put on my forehead and I massage my temples to get the blood flow stimulated. There wree many days I was prone for 3 to 4 hrs at a time just trying to sleep through it.

spirit 07-19-2004 07:47 AM

dont - it aint worth it - believe me

namommy 07-19-2004 08:01 AM

I have to start getting ready for work in a few minutes and I can't stop crying. I know that going to work is the best thing I can do for myself today. If I blow it off, I am going to feel like sh*t and that will make the desire stronger. I don't understand myself though, I have been posting on other threads like there is nothing wrong today. Why do we find it necessary to hide behind "I'm OK". I am FINE, f***ed up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional.

Thanks for the support.

margo 07-19-2004 08:09 AM

(((((((Namommy)))))))) I'm really sorry you're going through this, but you will get through, and you can get through it without relapsing. It's good that you're doing what you need to do - just hang on for the ride, as unpleasant as it may be, and it will pass.

Gooch has some excellent suggestions above for dealing with the headache. Lying down in a dark, quiet room and using a cold washcloth on your forehead can also help with migraines. There are quite a few non-narcotic meds for migraine now, including a fast-acting nasal spray. If you feel like your doctor is blowing you off, it might be time to look around for a new one when you're feeling better.

Hang in there, Namommy - you can do it, and I'll be thinking of you.

KelKel 07-19-2004 08:51 AM

Namommy
Have you tried Excedrin migraine ? I don't get migraine's, but used to get severe headaches when younger and my life changed dramatically after going to a chiropractor. I see one now who also is an acupuncturist. those might be options as well.
I am sorry you are hurting right now and I am sending prayers your way
:angel2: :angel2:

stud0134 07-19-2004 11:09 AM

check it out I live day by day with migranes becouse I broke my neck at a young age try getting epson salt and filling your tub full of hot water as hot as you can stand it and put the epson salt in the tub lots of it then soak your head in it by lying back in it and at the same time take excedrin not pm just extra strenth before you get in the tub I promise that will work.after the tub lay back with a hot towl over your head and take a light nap. this works for me all the time I know it will work for you love ya. keep coming back it work if you work it.

Dan 07-19-2004 11:18 AM


Originally Posted by Gooch
Been days I had to hold a pillow over my head and scream into it.

Been days I took bites out of the pillow.
It's all been said above.
((((( Namommy)))))

tigerlily 07-19-2004 11:34 AM

I just relapsed after 97 days which is nothing compared to 8 yrs, but now that I look back on it i think it started a few weeks ago when i started to get my "Headaches" again. I take Fiorinal which is asprin and caffeine and butalbital (which is s slight sedative) The Doc gives me a few vicodan for when they get really bad. Well this time I took those pills over a matter of days instead of the 2 months they are supposed to last. I definetly feel that that was the trigger for me to drink again. Obviousky I went over the edge and you may not have since you said you anly took 1, but i just thought id share. God Bless

tigerlily 07-19-2004 12:03 PM

me again
 
hi is me again, i just thought about the fact that my mom has been in revovery for awhile and she takes pills for her headache(w/codeine). she takes one in the morning and one at night and she is OK She has been doing it forever and it doesnt seem to affect her sobriety.? Everyine is so different thought.

Shakur T. 07-19-2004 02:52 PM

Peace, Hang tough namommy...Lots of prayers coming your way. I have never had those headaches, except when I was trying to kick, so I have no experience to share. Sounds like some good ones on here already.
I DO know about the anniversary jitters though. Had them a few times...
Hope you feel better, don't pick up, keep prayin'...Love ya kid!
Shakur

godsonmyside 07-19-2004 04:56 PM

Hang in there, tell on your disease, meditate, I'm praying for you, it will pass. I go through back pain alot and get headaches alot from stressing myself and it takes time, Love ya, Easy Does It!!!!!!

namommy 07-19-2004 06:19 PM

I can't believe this day.

First I want to thank everyone for the feedback and prayers. Both are much needed and much appreciated.

My day went from bad to worse. I was getting ready for work and I threw my back out. I have never done this before. I just stood up from sitting on the couch and next thing I knew I was laying on my livingroom floor in excruciating pain. I couldn't get up. I had one of my kids get me the phone and I called my father. I had to lay on the floor for 1/2 hour until he got there to help me up. I was told to keep moving and work it out, so I went to work. The doctor I work for was concerned and told me what to do when I got home. I took the motrin, and stretched my back with my husbands help.

I talked to my sponsor today, and told her what I have been going through. She doesn't know about the back yet, she wasn't home when I got home from work. I will talk to her about that tomorrow.

God bless anyone who deals with back problems on a regular basis. This is worse than the headaches.

Kelkel, I can't take excedrine migraine, it makes me feel like I am on speed or coke and it freaks me out.

Tiger, I have a prescription for fiorinal, but they aren't working anymore.

Thanks again everyone.

Gooch 07-19-2004 07:04 PM

Those headaches may be from a dislocation or misalignment.. Call a chiropractor and go in for a eval.

Chy 07-19-2004 07:14 PM

NAMommy,

I know when I was taking the migrain medication, and when I had to take a pill with codeine for gout, I went whacko, the headaches, were worse, and when I took that Ty3, man was I in even worse shape, with shakes, nausea, et al! To me it sounds like you have a severe sensitivity if not allergy to these meds.. talk to your doctor again, and don't leave until he'll listen, if not, ask him to refer you to someone else.

tigerlily 07-20-2004 07:01 AM

Mine arent working anymore either. I have recently been doing research about herbal cures and Ive read that Feverfew will take out even the worst migraine. Im going to get some today. So sorry to hear about your back, funny thing is that i too suffer from back problems i have been given numerous scripts for muscle relaxers but they do nothing. Yoga helps my back ALOT. when i get "too busy" and dont do it I can Really tell the difference. XOXOXO

splendra 07-20-2004 07:37 AM

I love "tiger balm" in the small glass jars if I get a ache or pain. I get it at asian and middle eastern markets because it is cheaper than at drug stores. If i have a head ache I rub it on my neck and temples it really helps... don't get it too close to your eyes though and you might want to make sure you don't have on a piece of your favorite clothing because it will stain. But it really works good on muscle,joint,and head pain. I like the smell too...

Gooch 07-20-2004 08:45 AM

forgot to mention ... The body produces it's own painkillers .. endorphins... they are absolutely the best kind.

I try and keep a few hot peppers and some hot sauce in the house all the time and when I eat them on a regular basis I don't seem to have as much back pain, and muscle ache. My theory is that the burn from the pepper acts like a catalyst to get my endorphine production going and once the fires out I get a litte relief from the extra endorphines.

I started going to a chiro a long time ago .. usually only when I was in severe pain. This last one I have been seeing for about 6 years did a thourough evaluation the first appt. Then before scheduling any treatments he explained the chiropractic approach, and why keeping a schedule of regular adjustments would minimize severe misalignments and prevent future injuries. He also explained that pain is a signal from the body that something is wrong and pain relievers should only be used as temporary measures. It's like putting a piece of tape over the check engine light on the car. Theres still a problem that may get worse but now we have cancelled the alert. Most of my worst pain is caused by a misalignment somewhere pinching a nerve path.

Did some yard work the last few days and its aggravated a shouder neck injury left over from my motorcycle accident. I'll be down at Dr. Matt's this afternoon to get a long overdue tune up and probably a follow up next week. This guy has given me a wonderful alternative to surgery and possible permanent disability.

DIANE12-6-01 07-20-2004 06:30 PM

Namommy,

Glad that you are talking about all this instead of acting on it. The only thing that I know of that works for migranes is "Midrin" (spelling might be wrong). My boss and my 1st sponsor both had extreme migranes and it is a non-narcotic faisal dialator (expands the blood vessels). Ask about it.


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