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could use a guiding light... hey all~ i am new to this board, and from what i have read it seems like a place i might be able to get a few answers. i have been on methadone for almost 2 years, though i have been on it before this time is different. the other times i had no problem following the clinics rules against using. but now i cant seem to stay straight. and i cant control my cravings. its not just the dope anymore, now ive gone back to speedballing. i am wasting away. my arms are a disgusting mess, my skin is so bad. i am starting to look like crap. i feel like crap,and its killing my motherto see me fall apart. i know i cant go on like this, i know i need inpatient but where can i go to that will take me on methadone and get me off everything. and i cant go to another one of these quick fix places, i know i need more than 28 days. plus i have no money or insurance, no job and my mother is gonna kick me out. any suggestions?? thanks ~shelly~ |
Shelly... Sounds like your skidding and bouncing off your bottom... Well... I have no hard and fast solutions for you... but a suggestion would be to head for the place that is affordable... has many members, and has been known to lift the most lost soul out of their hell... Narcotics Anonymous. I found that I had to be around people like myself that had lost all sanity around their DOC. I am praying to the ALL to send you some clarity around your addiction.. and willingness to go to any length to walk away from that hell on earth. |
Shelly- Hi - I am an addict too... and Narcotics Anonymous is what has saved my life. It is a path to freedom for anyone who truly WANTS to recover from active addiction. We can only practice the principles of the program, go to meetings and reach out to give and receive the help and love of others who give us hope very often because they have been there too and they are still here - clean today - and have made it through the hell we know we are facing. knowing it CAN be done is one thing that seems to work miracles in so many of us. Looking at another person and listening to them share their story and finding out that - well, sometimes they could have substitued our name in for theirs and it would have been OUR story - or sometimes we look a little deeper than the actual course of events and discover that we are still so much alike - INSIDE - we can all do this. There is no story or feeling that you could share at an NA meeting that SOMEBODY could not have some eimilar experience to... and could maybe tell you how they got through it. We can draw strength we didn't know we had in us from recognizing that others have ALREADY done what we desperately know we NEED to do. If you need medical help, try to get it... but first and foremost... get to meetings. The only requirement is the DESIRE to stop using! You can do this! My drug of choice was not the same as yours, but I have learned from others who did share your drug of choice that it will not kill you - the detox - but it WILL make you wish you were dead for a while... so if you can get treatment to assist you in the easing out of using, great... but the fact is it will NOT kill you is what I have learned... You will make it through! But you REALLY have to want it... it is here - recovery is saving a seat for you! HUGS... amanda |
Hey Shelly, Welcome! Narcotics Anonymous is a great place to start. You can go to www.na.org or you can call 212-929-6262 since you are in NY city. They will give you a meeting list. Call the city or governemnt # in the phone book. Tell them what is going on... your an addict who wants to get clean and needs a place to clean up. There are things they can do to help. Your mom kicking you out is a good start too. Sorry to say, but when our parents fininally say no to us, the bottom comes quicker and the consaquences come harder. (sorry about the spelling) Hope to "see" you around. Aware |
Shelly, Check out www.ncadd.org go to affiliates, then click on your state on the map. It will list different organizations that offer help to addicts and alcoholics who need it. There are special national funds for drug addiction rehabs. Do a little research, and there are a lot of back doors to funds for help. Also, I believe it's in the newcomers forum, there is a thread titled "Financial Help". I have posted several resources in that thread that may help. Laurie D |
Begin your own program by taking Step One from the previous chapter "How It Works". When we fully concede to our innermost selves that we are powerless over our addiction, we have taken a big step in our recovery. Many of us have had some reservations at this point, so give yourself a break and be as thorough as possible at the start. Go to Step Two, and forth and as you go on you will come to an understanding of the program for yourself. If you are in an institution of any kind, you have gone through complete withdrawal and have stopped using for the present. Now, with a clear mind, try this way of life. Upon release, continue your daily program and contact a member of N.A. Do this by mail, by phone, or in person. Better yet come to our meetings. Here you will find the answers to some of the things that may be disturbing you now. If you are not in an institution, the same holds true. Stop using for today. Most of us can do for eight or twelve hours what seems impossible for a longer period of time. If the obsession or compulsion becomes too great, put yourself on a five minute basis of not using. Minutes will grow to hours and hours to days and so you will break the habit and gain some peace of mind. The real miracle happens when you realize that the need for drugs has in some way been lifted from you. You have stopped using and have started to live. Basic text pg. 52 What Can I DoIt is hard to think about going through withdraw, even in a detox, we go through it, its not easy, but that is the only way. We will not die from withdraw, it is painful, we can get dehidrated, so we must not attempt alone. If you can, Get to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, and look at some of the suggestions that you've recieved here at SR. You never have to be alone, Just For Today. If you don't have a Basic Text, get one. Not having it is like going to war without a weapon. Here is a link to a copy until you can get one. If you can not afford one, ask for it from a group of NA, they will give you one and pay later. If you have to steal one, you consience will bring you to pay for it later. Many have done this, and are clean today. The message is hope, and the promise is freedom. Freedom from active addiction. The Book is written by us for us. http://nahistory.org/archive.htm |
We know that we are powerless over a disease which is incurable, progressive and fatal. If not arrested, it gets worse until we die. We cannot deal with the obsession and compulsion. The only alternative is to stop using and start learning how to live. When we are willing to follow this course and take advantage of the help available to us, a whole new life opens up. In this way, we do recover. |
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