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-   -   Getting clean and skipping steps ? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/283868-getting-clean-skipping-steps.html)

Clueless15 02-10-2013 12:11 PM

Getting clean and skipping steps ?
 
My boyfriend was an addict and got clean in June 2012. I had left him but we got back together after he became clean. I am always worried he will relapse. He put me through hell and back and I don't want me or my daughter to get hurt. ( I was pregnant at the time of the addiction). The thing that worried me the most is that he never went through any steps, he even has a hard time admitting he was an addict. I told him if he wanted to go see an addiction counsellor I would support him and even go with him if he wanted. But he has no interest in it what so ever. I'm not sure how to trust him again and not alway have the fear he will fall back into that lifestyle. He says he has no desire to use again, and when he decided to quit it was easy cause he knew that it wasn't what he wanted (he was addicted to cocaine). I just feel like we're kind of stuck and not able to move forward. Any advice is appreciated :)

totfit 02-10-2013 04:00 PM

Unfortunately, only time will tell whether or not he will remain clean. What he does to stay clean, whether treatment, steps, etc. seems to be statistically of little consequence. People that go to AA/NA, treatment, therapists, or do none of previous seem to do equally well when it comes to staying clean/sober (or equally as bad). So, while there is no true way to tell, though you can observe old behaviors that may predict relapse, you shouldn't discount him just because he is not doing something you hear others say he "should" do . Certainly, he should make changes, but the time he has remained clean so far is a very positive thing.

Gmoney 02-16-2013 09:24 AM

I have no advice to offer...only experience. I tried numerous times to control my addiction using willpower alone and each time I failed. I was also able to stop using (on my own) for various periods of time, but I wasn't able to stay stopped until I found NA and began following the suggestions of the program.


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