REZ

We need a fresh topic on here! I'm really tired of talking about taking drugs to get off of drugs. So here's an NA topic.

Did you have any warning signs that you might become an addict even before you started using drugs on a regular basis?

I'm pretty sure I did. I had some obsessive/compulsive personality traits before these were magnified by drug addiction, such as collecting things. I also went through a phase where I was shoplifting a lot (age 14 or so). I didn't really "need" any of the stuff: I just took it because I enjoyed the rush (the power, excitement) of stealing. I also had a spiritual void and low self esteem.

hairgirl

I am compulsive/obsessive also.I had food issues from my pre teens.I had a very bad childhood, so I feel I did allot of things to excess because I wasn't taught to do otherwise.I don't think anyone addicted to drugs didn't have some other issues in life, I would love to talk to the person who had a perfect life and became an addict.But, what is perfect anyway?

Jerzy007

I chose to grow up in dysfunction junction And have paid for it bigtime, im grateful that im not doin heavyweight numbers in Trenton State Prison:cage

Thundar301

I look back now and see control issues! I was always trying to manipulate anything and everything I could into a "works for dean" outcome, no matter the reality of the situation or how it could adversely effect to me if my master plans some how failed to reach fruition... but I , being Dean to the worst of my ability , swam up stream , regardless to the flow of life around me. I am glad to say it almost killed me, because it took that to wake me up to the fact that my biggest problem in life after getting clean, was being Dean! and with Love and blessing of a higher power , the help of 3 sponsers ( all with double digit clean times 12,16 and 22 yrs ) and the cleaning process of working the 12 steps of N.A. I have Dean-toxed, I am no longer in Dean-ial, I can with the help of those I have trusted to help along in this journey of recovery , make some kind of a life that is truely worth being allowed to remain breathing on earth! I know I am no where near finished , and I have fought and struggled to climb back up out of the 27 yrs of digging hole I made for myself. I am by no means even on the map where my comfort zone rests, but as alien as what I have been doing has felt , so far it has been working , very slow ( almost unnoticable at 1st) but my best thinking had me dying on a Detox bed, I can trust that my gut knows for the most part, a choice is either right or wrong , regadless of the outcome to me , and if I can't see that today I will ask someone in my life that I do trust for what they think about it , before I will act on it. My head still messes with me, and prolly always will , but I know I can control only one thing in life today , that is me , and how I respond to the choices that are presented to me... that's it , that's all!!! good thead Rez , thank you for the thought provoking...
Dean

SaTiT

Yes, i'm acoa. oh..like wishing i was dead or wanting to die at the age of 5
and stuff like that. and wishing life is different so i created a fantacy world
to escape. So when i got old enough to escape the confind.lol,
i went to score dope which instantly shot me into the wightlightzone.
I guess pot was a gateway drug...the stargates.lol

Well..no kinding i was out there, out there.(a term use for tweekers)
Then people wanna tell me to come down and deal with life on life's
terms...holy schmolly....

Gmoney

I must admit that I, too, demonstrated addictive behaviors long before I ever picked up a drug. Like SaTiT, I drifted back and forth from fantasy and reality. As a kid I was fat and didn't like myself, so I'd read comic books and wish I was a super hero. I collected them by the tons!! I did the same with almost everything I liked - model cars, train sets, H.O. racers...you name it. Once I became an adolescent and lost the baby fat, I caught acne pretty bad. Imagine the damage that does to a teenage boy's ego - especially when he's becoming interested in girls!! By the time I reached 14 - 15 years old, I was medicating my inadequacies and insecurities with a variety of substances: all in an attempt to fit in and be liked so I could like myself. I've been everything from class clown & Joe Cool to protector of the weak (I'm a big guy). A true chameleon.

Thanks to my HP, NA, the 12 steps, and the fellowship...I'm finally comfortable in my own skin and have a great deal of self-acceptance. Nobody has to like me for me to like myself today.

Moontime

1st drug of choice was sugar. I remember stealing candy and saving it for later but never being able to put it down. I remember in 5th grade bringing candy to school and selling it. I loved the power it gave me. I got addicted to those emotions and feelings. Same things I used to do in the streets.

mackie

I've heard this quote a jillion times at meetings over the years:

"I don't know if I was born an alcoholic, but I'm pretty certain with my first drink, an alcoholic was born."

(BTW, for myself, I do believe I WAS BORN AN ADDICT, and I just perpetuated the situation by poor choices along the way!)

REZ

I collected comic books too: I had about 2000 of them! I could never get enough. I also obsessed on sports statistics, especially baseball, and I still do.

I've been clean for a while, but it is very useful for me to see that even today, I am basically the same obsessive-complusive person I've always been. If I pick up drugs today, it is likely I will end up right back where I was when I picked them up earlier in my life.

Doug

I started using when I was 11. Considered myself crazy, and thought about suicide when I was 13. Pretty heavy stuff for a kid IMO. Unfortunately I was too young to know what any of it meant, but in hindsight, I'd say it was a warning sign.