For me, it wasn't just one or two things that brought about my surrender - it was the weight of all my problems. The Feds were after me, I was unemployed, I was malnourished and tired, shame, guilt, embarassment, anger, fear and desperate. I still was blessed to have numerous bridges to cross...so I knew I'd have support. I just never wanted it before. I can't speak for anyone else, but knowing I had loved ones who were still behind me was very motivational. IMHO, I don't believe it's easier (if possible) to do it alone. My experience is that I needed help. |
i lost everything and evryone in my life, still i didn't want to stop drinking or using..not truly at. i figure AA or NA was going to teach how to manage my buzz.lol it kind of cuaght my attention, actaully i almost puke my guts out in a meeting. People were talking life and a lot of stuff the i could relate to, actaully i thought they were talking about me and about issues i barried inside of me which i didn't want to deal with or talk about... so..it made me sicker than sick to my stomach.lol I had a person reached out to me for almost a month...talk about a 12 step call, That guy spent weeks with me. i bascailly detoxed on a park bench on top of a hill.lol i was sleeping in my car at the time. it was over 100 degee in Southern CA.lol I knew people in recovery was telling the truth and wasn't lying to me. You know, i didn't really , really want to stop using. I relapsed of couse. i got well enough to go out and use again. But i kept coming back no matter what. i guess the miracle must had happened becuase i don't have a desire to drink or us today. I can't really say what's easier to be single or involved. they both have there pros and cons. I've been single and in relationships in recovery. i've gone through break ups in recovery. I know when i was single and when i got over the heart break stage, it was actaully fun and easier. I was releaved of a lot of responsiblities. But sometimes that loniness creeps in...God or a HP is great and all... but i like hugs and kisses too.lol Being in a relationship is actually harder. well..gee wheezz, an addict not being selfish and caring about someone else's feelings or well being..lol I imagine a wack job will say not to be in a relationship becuase he heard it somewhere. Sounds like a good excuse to get out of a jam or responsibilites, if you're marriage or relationship is a mess ...of course we all know who wracked the train.lol So it just depends..lol all was suggested was "don't make major decisions" |
What made me decide to quit? PAIN :bigcry |
I couldn't live with myself any longer. I was just sick and tired of the life I was leading and was ready for a change. |
I didnt know who i was anymore. You dont have to have all the ol war stories some have, I am glad i didnt wait any longer then I did. I did it for myself and my gf is a huge influence for me. Like Time said PAIN. |
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