NYCLifer

I went to two EAI meetings recently and I actually found them boring/pointless. Maybe I need to keep coming. I connect with the literature, but do not fully get it. no longer feel safe or comfortable in AA/NA. therapy/psych has been ineffective. I feel the world failed me in sobriety (what I experienced at two points clean), and at this point I do not talk to anyone anymore except my parents, because I have proof they want me to live.

I do not know how to get out of this funk i know it will lead back to something horrible, or something new horrible, but at this point im ready to take my stuff to the bitter end. I honestly thought i wanted to get better and be happy and free, but I do not know what healing/recovery even is anymore. i feel i could get better with proper support/hope. because everything i tried to this point has been a miserable experience.

Dee74

Hi NYCLifer

Never heard of EA, but I wanted you to know someones listening.

I've been disappointed at various things in my recovery,but I need to remember I didn't get sober to have a blissful life - I don't think that's realistic for most of us - I got sober so I would be better in dealing with my life.

I wanted me and my life to be better if not instantly, quickly - but that wasn't the way it worked for me.
I spent 20 years drinking and a concurrent 30 years smoking pot. I needed to allow for some time for my mind and body to heal.

I needed some faith to carry me through. I had no faith in myself or God back then, but I did have faith in the folks here. They helped a lot

I don;t know you, but I definitely want you to live - I want everyone here to live. Support really helps me. I hope the support I know you'll get herein this thread will help you too

Stay with us

D

Canadian Koala

Hi NYCLifer, welcome on SR

As Dee said, stay with us!
It worked for me who couldn't stop using no matter how hard I tried.

Btw, you arrive just in time to join the May 2021 class!
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html

Sharing your experience will help us I'm sure
Take care

biminiblue

People are endlessly disappointing to me. I am endlessly disappointing to others, I'm sure. As a drinker I wanted everything to go my way and I felt like the world should know how to treat me and they should all do it. In reality I do the same things that everyone else does. I'm sometimes judgemental, sometimes impatient, sometimes I lie, sometimes I exaggerate. I don't follow through. I don't reach out to people. I forget birthdays. I don't listen.

I think we all are doing the best we can and that I need to forgive and give grace to others. That's the only way forward, because people have feet of clay and they will disappoint.

I didn't have a lot of luck in AA or with therapy either.

I'm going to go where I don't normally go on SR because I hear you feeling like the human race has let you down.

I go to God for my healing and support. He is always there and is unfailing in His(Her) love for me and for you.

Astro

I haven't heard of EA either and I've been around quite a few recovery programs, some of them very beneficial and some not so much. In looking back though I suppose I took away something good from every one of them, even if it was just the benefit of another hour sober and the fellowship of others.

I lean on Jesus for my sobriety and support, but today I'm going to an AA meeting too. I've been away for too long and I'm feeling the crushing weight of past choices, my alcoholism is calling out to me and I've got to tell it to stop. You see, I love this life and I want to continue living it for as long as I possibly can, and I'd love for you to do that too. It's a pretty wild ride, trust me on that

Fusion

How do you 'go to God', @biminiblue ?

enaiddes

Went online to look for some active EA forums but couldnt find any. The most recent posts in the Forum I found were from 2019.

choublak

Never heard of it. What is it?

least

I googled it and this is what came up first.

https://emotionsanonymous.org/