Zencat

I'll start. Yes at 12yrs old I experienced a psychall painful and emotionally charged response to the trama. The emotions at that time were; shame, embarrassment, confusion, anger, disobedience and secretary. Not much longer after the trauma I started to show a lot symptoms associated with childhood trauma. In my case I was behaving in very unusual ways in secret. I reenacted my trauma in order to have control. When I did the trauma to myself I took control from my abuser who held control over me.

Very complex stuff, I get that.
I control my symptoms in a healthy way with healthy living skills. Symptom management its called. It can work.

Zencat

I just want to note:
Please be mindful of what you share. Aroid triggering trauma in others with your share.

KTB5000

Thank you for sharing. I was told I was ADHD but actually PTSD would be a better fit for me. Thr trauma and reenactments has gone on for so long. By the grace of God, I have stopped the stumulants and antidepressents to finally accept my feelings. Now 'drinking' is my biggest issue/concern. I feel hopeless with it really.

Astro

KTB, I feel like there's always hope as long as I continue to reach out for help, whether it be here on SR or through a program of recovery. There's never a lack of people willing to support and help us through this journey.

KTB5000

Idk, im trying to stay positive today but the depression and disgust with my situation is really getting to me

usefulengine

Where can I go to talk about trauma specifically? I did a search and there isn’t much here. I want to read through specific, in-depth discussions on strategies for coping and healing.

Dee74

Hi usefulengine

We're a peer support group - we mainly deal with substance abuse, but of course trauma and PTSD CPTSD etc is often a part of that.

We can only go so far without triggering some of our members - but general discussion is generally welcomed.

Threads like these are dotted around the forums

D

usefulengine

Thanks. I ended up diving into The Body Keeps the Score last night and that was what I wanted. I haven't used forums in years, and I've been so frustrated with Google lately - it's so hard to find things nowadays with how noisy and pointless a lot of the search results are. Part of me wants a shortcut, I think.

I take what you're saying and appreciate it. Cheers!

JustJohn

Took me a long time to admit it. Visiting my private doctor, then a VA Psychologist and talking it out, and then finally allowing the follow-up Psychiatrist to prescribe medication helped me get better. The military can be roiling hive of machismo, where seeking mental health care is seen as weakness.

The violence human beings will do to other human beings is horrific. I don't want to trigger anyone's PTSD, so no details. But know there is no shame in seeking help in processing your thoughts, emotions, and out of control fight or flight anxiety.

All of my problems finally caught up to me mentally about the time I turned 50. I asked my Psychologist why has all this come home to roost now from violence that occurred in my teens and early 20's. She explained that the young human brain often cannot fully process events until years, and even decades later, when triggered by other events.

Mine was triggered by a work situation - my adrenalin would pump so hard it was all I could do to control myself from verbally and physically confronting my antagonist. One day I walked out of work because I'd had all I could stand. I went straight to my doctor and emotionally lost it in the exam room. It helped unloading the anger and tears - yes, tears from this former Marine. Thus began my mental health recovery.

Please seek help if you need it - you don't have to hold it all in and suffer alone.

enaiddes

I know there are ex military and others who’ve gone through a lot more than me, but having been in a domestic violence situation, I had repeated trauma for the duration of the relationship. He was scary and aggressive and I was constantly on guard (and scared).

JustJohn

First - welcome to SR!

Don't discount and compare your trauma - only you know what you went through. We each cope with our own realities. I said the same thing to my Psychologist about people who have gone through worse than me, and I expressed some guilt for feeling as I do by comparison. She shut that thinking right down - we all have the right to live our lives without abuse from others. We also have the right to seek help and heal.

I'm glad you're here enaiddes. Thank you for posting.

silvermaple

The last year or so stirred up PTSD from 20 years ago. Things that I thought that I had moved past. I have trauma prior to that, also. I did not expect to feel the way that I do since I became ill earlier this year. I think the connection is in how I feel, and how I felt, then.

Sending support to everyone.

enaiddes

The trauma in my life at this point feels safely put behind me except of course for the latest one. I tend to deal with this latest one by blocking it out which I think is probably not healthy but I cant help it.

Abuse is a trauma no question and I believe it does things to our psyche that we’re not even aware of.

Anaya

Yes - to suffering trauma.

Part of my journey in getting to a better place in recent years has been seriously concentrating on the healing process, trusting in God, having hope, and staying on task (that phrase "staying on task" is one which my son's teachers used ad nauseam back when he was an elementary school student, and I have since adopted it and applied it to myself -- after all, like mother, like son).

I am more than fortunate to have landed an adept and very helpful counselor, having researched ahead to find someone who uses CBT as one strategy for her clients.

Best of luck to all who have shared here in this thread. There is hope.

least

Yes, I was raped in my apt in the fall of 1978. I couldn't leave the house cause my two yr old daughter was sleeping down the hall. It was quite traumatic. I saw a counselor for a while to process it. Even now, 43 yrs later, I still get an uneasy feeling when T giving is coming up because it happened the day before T giving.

Astro

Least...

Anaya

My hugs to Least as well. I hope and pray for healing for you.

Victims of sexual violation have permanent scars; truly, it is a very personal and very difficult journey for those innocents, sometimes being children, who are violated by predators.

Alysheba

Oh Least... Gentle hugs.
I absolutely believe in therapy and seeing a psychiatrist if you may need to be on meds. Most of us, in some way or another have been traumatized severely. Sometimes it has to do with the addiction, sometimes not. Screen your therapists, keep going to AA, if that's what you do and please try out therapy. It may take a time of two to find the right one. I've had the same one for 8 years, but I also know what I was looking for. I recommend it, imo, but it may not be for everyone.
Least, I won't go into this hear, but as I said, you have my heart and always have.

tidalwaves

Yes, I was in a car accident at 9 years old and had a mild traumatic brain injury.

Anaya

That is good and sound advice from Aly.

Also, and specifically about finding a therapist -- If one has the resources available, by all means, start the search to find someone who specializes specifically in what would be a good fit for you.

Finding the "right type of therapy" has made a world of difference for me; though, I know there has to be continued commitment and effort coming from both sides.