splendra

My autistic nephew lives with me. I think he gets pretty bored and I have been thinking about looking into a group home situation for him. I know I am not going to live forever and I don't think my sister will ever get her act together enough to give him the care he needs. My brothers and friends all say he needs to be in this type of setting but none of them know how to go about it. I want to do what is right for my nephew. I feel so torn. In many ways I have pretty much given up my life to take care of him. I have tried to talk to my sister about what to do and get her to take some responsibility for her son. The only tool she seems to have is emotional blackmail.

Does anyone here have any experience with this type of housing that could maybe give me some feed back on what I might need to look for? Would he be safe? Do they help them or just leave them to fend for themselves?

Astro

The only experience I have with group homes were for the elderly with dementia. I decided against it for my father but only because I felt he would be more comfortable in a larger nursing center with more residents. In all honesty the group home looked very secure and a resident would be under almost constant supervision, I'm sure you can find a good one if you do some vetting. If someone was left to fend for themselves, that wouldn't be a place I'd leave my loved one to be cared for.

Ann

Would it be possible to find a good day facility and let him try a day here and there at that place, to see how he does in a group environment?

He may dislike it at first, my experience is that many autistic people dislike change of routine. But he may like it as well, and maybe that would be a stepping stone to a live in facility when you find one.

Bless you, Splendra, for taking care of him and for thinking of his future.

Ann

Easter Seals seems to have (or can connect to) various options for adult autistic people. Maybe contact them (and other autism support agencies) for help and connections to programs or living arrangements.

https://www.easterseals.com/explore-...er-age-21.html

splendra

I have found out that since I don't have legal custody of him that I can't receive any services for him. I tried to talk to my sister about this and all she said is that I am selfish and only think about myself and that she is not emotionally stable enough to help him get into a better situation. I think that the reason she is so emotionally unstable is that she has spent most of her life making bad choices.
I could just turn him over to social services but to me that seems harsh. If I do that I will not have any say in what happens to him or even be able to check up on him since I don't have legal custody of him.
My mother was his advocate all his life she spent a good part of her later life making sure he got what he needed. My sister pissed it all away on her obsessions within a year of her death. My mother worked until she was 72 years old and died two weeks short of being 84. She never got the nice peaceful retirement that she worked all her life for because she had taken all the responsibility for my sister and her son.
Please say a prayer for my nephew if you are so inclined. He is a good person and he doesn't deserve to live his life in isolation and loneliness with his boring aunt.