Astro

Let me know how that sunshine and outdoors works out for you, for me it's sorta like pouring Miracle-Gro on my day and program of recovery, it makes me bloom!

Fusion

Absence of health concerns is a very promising indicator that your kitty shall enjoy many more years of love from you.

I started feeding wild birds in the autumn, I noticed the hedgerows are cut then (instead of after Christmas as once they were) which means the berries are mostly destroyed. Every morning, they wait in the shrubs and trees, for their breakfast. They too, bring a little light into my heart. One of them, a small Dunnock, originally puffed-up and panting, struggling with a crippled foot, is now thriving and uses the permanently clenched stubbed foot, to balance on branches. Whereas previously, it was confined to the ground, and it's predators.

Also, we're now experiencing unseasonably warm weather, and yesterday I found two bumblebees, out of hibernation prematurely, with no food sources, researched actions to take, enacted them, and they're back in hibernation.

I'm not sure why I relayed that to you, but in all my deliberations as to why I'm subsumed by thoughts and feelings of hopelessness, I believe one of the roots is self-worthlessness. Therefore the more actions I take to help others, the more I begin to believe there is a point to my existence. I do hope you enjoyed your walk.

sadforldr7

Thanks Astro & Tatsy...in most cases I would say that being outside and getting out of my house is restorative...animals and nature always bring a smile to my face.

Yesterday afternoon though things sunk lower. Doctor called with a request for further imaging and ultrasounds as a 16 mm nodule was found on my right breast during my annual scan. This is how it's been every month since I decided to stop drinking. It hasn't let up.

I can't go on like this. I'm ready truly to give up, and other than 'virtually' I have no real support system where I live. I have a bad feeling...

Fusion

Sadforldr, please try not to think the worst, of course I know that's a natural reaction. I've had 'cancer scares' in my life, then more tests, more worrying, followed by the all-clear, so much anguish, followed by relief. My feelings which caused the anguish were, fortunately, wrong.

Plus, I understand that worry creates negative effects on the body, and we don't want that for you.

Your previous tests, what were their results. Did you worry and then discover you were OK last time? Please don't give up, please stay strong and keep posting. x

sadforldr7

Trying so hard Tatsy and I appreciate your support.

I just don't have the resilience I did before. I have many risk factors for breast cancer (drinker, no kids, female hormone cycle concerns, Ggrandmother and GAunt, birth control, etc.). Feels like the shoe is always about to drop and this will be the 2nd time for this breast to have a concern, prior benign biopsy in 2016.

Just very tired, very scared and not feeling positive. It doesn't help that I live in this area and have to ask coworkers to help get me to apts that require anesthesia. Feels terrifying because I am truly alone here. If there was an emergency, I have no one I could call really.

Dee74

Sorry you've had so many testing times recently.
I'm really hoping there'll be no problem sadfrldr,

D

least

All I can do is send you more hugs and prayers for peace of mind.

Astro

Yes, heartfelt hugs and prayers for positive results as you walk through these difficulties!

sadforldr7

Thanks Dee and least.

sadforldr7

Thanks, Astro.. didn't see this until later in my day.

Fusion

Sadforldr, I too send you my prayers and hugs, that your fears won't be realised.

You've previously mentioned volunteer work, could you call upon a fellow volunteer, should a co-worker be unavailable? Perhaps that possibility would offer some peace of mind?