Bipolar: Tell me about it
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 343
Bipolar: Tell me about it
I have been sober for quite a while, but like so many I have battled mental illnesses for most of my life. My history includes depression, anxiety, PTSD, and eating disorder. About one year ago I found a really good therapist who suggested I might have a bipolar disorder. She and my psychiatrist (and I) agreed on a bipolar II diagnosis, and I think it finally explains a lot.
I was on Wellbutrin & Buspar for a few years. They helped but the depression was resistant. Latuda was added and, after a breaking-in period, helped lift the darkness.
Now that I have an official diagnosis I understand myself a little better. My hypomania is more likely to be irritable and impatient. I recognize my energy surges. I am more aware of my fluctuations in mood and energy.
My purpose in posting is this: I would love to hear from other people who have bipolar. I am interested in your experiences and coping strategies. Is it strange that I am relieved to get this diagnosis? It just seems that I can address it now that I know the terms. Thanks in advance.
I was on Wellbutrin & Buspar for a few years. They helped but the depression was resistant. Latuda was added and, after a breaking-in period, helped lift the darkness.
Now that I have an official diagnosis I understand myself a little better. My hypomania is more likely to be irritable and impatient. I recognize my energy surges. I am more aware of my fluctuations in mood and energy.
My purpose in posting is this: I would love to hear from other people who have bipolar. I am interested in your experiences and coping strategies. Is it strange that I am relieved to get this diagnosis? It just seems that I can address it now that I know the terms. Thanks in advance.
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Hampton Roads, VA
Posts: 26
I have Bipolar II disorder along with PTSD, and the bipolar diagnosis explained a lot for me. Especially the extreme mood swings, the impulsiveness and substance abuse to self medicate. But, finally being stable on a good meds cocktail has been a huge help for me and has kept me out of the psych unit for a while now. If you have any questions about my personal experience with bipolar, please feel free to ask and I'll answer the best I can.
Wes
Wes
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Posts: 343
Originally Posted by Wes0817 
I have Bipolar II disorder along with PTSD, and the bipolar diagnosis explained a lot for me. Especially the extreme mood swings, the impulsiveness and substance abuse to self medicate. But, finally being stable on a good meds cocktail has been a huge help for me and has kept me out of the psych unit for a while now. If you have any questions about my personal experience with bipolar, please feel free to ask and I'll answer the best I can.
Wes
Wes
Thanks for your reply. Our stories sound similar.
What is most troubling to me is my irritability and rage when I'm in a hypomanic state. It leaves me feeling exhausted and very embarrassed.
The moos fluctuations are tiring as well, yet there are periods when I feel quite normal.
I work a little, but it is exhausting. This week I worked for about three hours. I meet with Veterans, interview them about their needs, & gather the information that goes into a report that I write when I get home. I had to have a nap, then I slept for 10 hours that night. Being with people takes a lot of my energy. I do some other things--making lists, for example--that probably consume more of my energy.
I guess this is "baptism by fire," but I am becoming more self-aware as I observe myself. Thanks again for your input. It helps that I am not alone.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
Rage can be a symptom of the hypomania state. So can irritability. One of the symptoms I had during hypomania is irresponsible spending. That one is actually fairly common. I like the statement you made that says "mood fluctuations are tiring". They are!!
I'm a 61 yo male that has suffered depression off and on my entire life. Mostly off and it was easily controlled by medication. I was diagnosed as being type II bipolar a year ago in January, and no medication seemed to work. I went into a downhill slide into severe depression. I had many of the common symptoms of BP II severe depression. I couldn't read books or magazines. (This one is fairly common). I was having occasional cognitive difficulties. (This one can become permanent). I was having significant memory loss. I was having significant sleep issues, often getting only 2 to 4 hours of sleep every night. That was with Ambien or any of the other sleep meds we tried.
Then during the last weekend of December, one week before scheduled ECT treatments, I came out of the depression. I was totally out of it. My psychiatrist has no idea why. Maybe the Lamictal kicked in. Maybe there was some sort of reaction between the Lamictal and Ritalin.
This stuff is horrible. Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor if you feel meds aren't working or something isn't going right. I always take in a list when I see my psychiatrist so I don't forget to talk about something.
There is a lot of information on the internet about BP. I like this article because it talks about how to not neglect other aspects of your healthcare and how to prevent premature death associated with bipolar.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/release...0202103023.htm
I'm a 61 yo male that has suffered depression off and on my entire life. Mostly off and it was easily controlled by medication. I was diagnosed as being type II bipolar a year ago in January, and no medication seemed to work. I went into a downhill slide into severe depression. I had many of the common symptoms of BP II severe depression. I couldn't read books or magazines. (This one is fairly common). I was having occasional cognitive difficulties. (This one can become permanent). I was having significant memory loss. I was having significant sleep issues, often getting only 2 to 4 hours of sleep every night. That was with Ambien or any of the other sleep meds we tried.
Then during the last weekend of December, one week before scheduled ECT treatments, I came out of the depression. I was totally out of it. My psychiatrist has no idea why. Maybe the Lamictal kicked in. Maybe there was some sort of reaction between the Lamictal and Ritalin.
This stuff is horrible. Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor if you feel meds aren't working or something isn't going right. I always take in a list when I see my psychiatrist so I don't forget to talk about something.
There is a lot of information on the internet about BP. I like this article because it talks about how to not neglect other aspects of your healthcare and how to prevent premature death associated with bipolar.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/release...0202103023.htm
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 343
Originally Posted by HeadEast
Rage can be a symptom of the hypomania state. So can irritability. One of the symptoms I had during hypomania is irresponsible spending. That one is actually fairly common. I like the statement you made that says "mood fluctuations are tiring". They are!!
I'm a 61 yo male that has suffered depression off and on my entire life. Mostly off and it was easily controlled by medication. I was diagnosed as being type II bipolar a year ago in January, and no medication seemed to work. I went into a downhill slide into severe depression. I had many of the common symptoms of BP II severe depression. I couldn't read books or magazines. (This one is fairly common). I was having occasional cognitive difficulties. (This one can become permanent). I was having significant memory loss. I was having significant sleep issues, often getting only 2 to 4 hours of sleep every night. That was with Ambien or any of the other sleep meds we tried.
Then during the last weekend of December, one week before scheduled ECT treatments, I came out of the depression. I was totally out of it. My psychiatrist has no idea why. Maybe the Lamictal kicked in. Maybe there was some sort of reaction between the Lamictal and Ritalin.
This stuff is horrible. Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor if you feel meds aren't working or something isn't going right. I always take in a list when I see my psychiatrist so I don't forget to talk about something.
There is a lot of information on the internet about BP. I like this article because it talks about how to not neglect other aspects of your healthcare and how to prevent premature death associated with bipolar.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/release...0202103023.htm
I'm a 61 yo male that has suffered depression off and on my entire life. Mostly off and it was easily controlled by medication. I was diagnosed as being type II bipolar a year ago in January, and no medication seemed to work. I went into a downhill slide into severe depression. I had many of the common symptoms of BP II severe depression. I couldn't read books or magazines. (This one is fairly common). I was having occasional cognitive difficulties. (This one can become permanent). I was having significant memory loss. I was having significant sleep issues, often getting only 2 to 4 hours of sleep every night. That was with Ambien or any of the other sleep meds we tried.
Then during the last weekend of December, one week before scheduled ECT treatments, I came out of the depression. I was totally out of it. My psychiatrist has no idea why. Maybe the Lamictal kicked in. Maybe there was some sort of reaction between the Lamictal and Ritalin.
This stuff is horrible. Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor if you feel meds aren't working or something isn't going right. I always take in a list when I see my psychiatrist so I don't forget to talk about something.
There is a lot of information on the internet about BP. I like this article because it talks about how to not neglect other aspects of your healthcare and how to prevent premature death associated with bipolar.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/release...0202103023.htm
Thanks for your reply. The link to the article was enlightening, if disturbing. I can attest to the heightened sympathetic nervous system.
I also was treated for unipolar depression off/on for most of my life until a very good therapist suggested taking a look at bipolar. She and my psychiatrist, to their credit, were willing to take a look at it.
Irritability is kind of my trademark. People have always remarked on my intermittent moods--"Sometimes I just don't know who you are."--and I can recall heightened emotions, even euphoria. I have overspent in my life, but for some reason--old age maybe, since I also am 61--I have been very much in control of my money. That's good since I do not have too much!
I was initially treated with Buspar & Wellbutrin, but that was when I was dx with depression and anxiety. The depression was unrelenting, and my doctor finally added Latuda. It made a world of difference, although my early response was hypomania. We have adjusted the dose as well as that of Wellbutrin. Apparently, during bipolar cases when irritability persists, the anti-depressant has to be reduced. I still have episodes, though.
Thanks again for reaching out. It has been helpful.
paradox
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 665
Manic Depression
Good discussion.
I was diagnosed 40 years ago with Manic Depression. Seems the didn't call it bipolar or divide it in two.
I was in hospital at the time having had my second acute manic episode. I was put on Lithium which i have been taking ever since. Unfortunately over the years I have also felt the need to self - medicate and a couple of times to stop taking the Lithium with predictable results (hospitalisation).
It wasn't until 15 years ago that I was diagnosed (by myself) as alcoholic.
I walked into an AA meeting and got with the programme. Wish I'd done that sooner but one has to have a desire to stop drinking. It works.
I will keep taking the Lithium until it starts to damage my kidneys. Then I'll have to find an alternative.
We have a chemical imbalance in our brains on top of that i poured another mental illness: alcoholism.
I need to take my "medicine" for both.
I was diagnosed 40 years ago with Manic Depression. Seems the didn't call it bipolar or divide it in two.
I was in hospital at the time having had my second acute manic episode. I was put on Lithium which i have been taking ever since. Unfortunately over the years I have also felt the need to self - medicate and a couple of times to stop taking the Lithium with predictable results (hospitalisation).
It wasn't until 15 years ago that I was diagnosed (by myself) as alcoholic.
I walked into an AA meeting and got with the programme. Wish I'd done that sooner but one has to have a desire to stop drinking. It works.
I will keep taking the Lithium until it starts to damage my kidneys. Then I'll have to find an alternative.
We have a chemical imbalance in our brains on top of that i poured another mental illness: alcoholism.
I need to take my "medicine" for both.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 374
I was diagnosed as type 2 close to four years ago. As of late, the good, normal days have been far and few between. If I stay active, I can control it reasonably. No meds so far, just have to stay off the booze.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
General info: I'm a postmenopausal woman, sober 6 years on meds, previously 1 year without meds.
When I first saw a psychiatrist, he put major depression on my chart because of suicidal ideation. I assume when he started me on Lamictal for racing thoughts, impulsivity, and deluded thinking e.g. grandiosity, he changed my dx to bipolar II, but I never talk to him about diagnoses. We talk about restaurants, mostly
unless I express problems with the meds. He's psychopharm, which suits me, although he keeps up with my family history and history of substance abuse.
Like the OP, I like it that I can (mostly) observe myself more objectively when I get a little manic. My depressed periods are not infrequent, but I kick back out after about 10 days, and they're way less severe.
I don't think I could have stayed straight & sober without meds, but that's just me. I'm very grateful to be stable and don't want to mess with what seems to be the right mix of meditation, staying off substances, meds, accountability to a select few, and what I learned from the 12 Steps.
When I first saw a psychiatrist, he put major depression on my chart because of suicidal ideation. I assume when he started me on Lamictal for racing thoughts, impulsivity, and deluded thinking e.g. grandiosity, he changed my dx to bipolar II, but I never talk to him about diagnoses. We talk about restaurants, mostly
unless I express problems with the meds. He's psychopharm, which suits me, although he keeps up with my family history and history of substance abuse.Like the OP, I like it that I can (mostly) observe myself more objectively when I get a little manic. My depressed periods are not infrequent, but I kick back out after about 10 days, and they're way less severe.
I don't think I could have stayed straight & sober without meds, but that's just me. I'm very grateful to be stable and don't want to mess with what seems to be the right mix of meditation, staying off substances, meds, accountability to a select few, and what I learned from the 12 Steps.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I was diagnosed quite a few years ago and have been on risperidone ever since, which helps a lot. I've never liked the term 'bipolar', as it sounds to me like a big magnet. lol But manic depression fits the spells I was having. Too high 'highs' and horrible 'lows'. 
The med helps a great deal and I feel quite normal in that my moods aren't all over the map like they used to be.
The med helps a great deal and I feel quite normal in that my moods aren't all over the map like they used to be.
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 343
Social distancing has taken on a whole new meaning these days. I don't mind it, but the 6 ft. admonition certainly changes the grocery shopping experience.
I must have missed notice of a post on this thread, for it seems I did not always reply. I appreciate the participation, though.
When I started this post I was having such rage that I scared myself. I thought my heart would beat outside of my chest.
My doctor said it was time to stop the anti-depressant (Wellbutrin), and he added Lamictal to go with Buspar and Latuda. It has made a world of difference. I still get angry when someone pulls in front of me in traffic, but I don't lay on the horn and try to run them down to make a point!
I must have missed notice of a post on this thread, for it seems I did not always reply. I appreciate the participation, though.
When I started this post I was having such rage that I scared myself. I thought my heart would beat outside of my chest.
My doctor said it was time to stop the anti-depressant (Wellbutrin), and he added Lamictal to go with Buspar and Latuda. It has made a world of difference. I still get angry when someone pulls in front of me in traffic, but I don't lay on the horn and try to run them down to make a point!
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