Justin00

Hello everyone,

Several years ago I started to feel unmotivated to do anything. I have general anxiety, lot's of stress, highly responsibly job. I live abroad and couldn't get any help from local health care system so I went to see private psychiatrist. They put me on SSRI's and I felt great. 1 year ago I decided to wean off, because I thought I can manage on my own. Did that and slowly got back into feeling empty. Now it's even worse.

I come to work and it takes enormous amounts of will for me to do simple tasks. I drink 5 cups of coffee, 2000mg piracetam, some nicotine and I might be able to work for an hour or two, then come back home and do nothing for the rest of the day. I almost never cook for myself, because I don't have the motivation to do that, I rather stay hungry. I do not enjoy anything I used to enjoy, I spend my time watching youtube and overthink about work.

I'm posting this, because I feel like I can't make decisions on my own and I need some advice how to proceed with my situation. Meds scare me, but I can't keep going like this.

My wife does not like that idea me coming back on meds, because she says I look like a zombie on them. Tomorrow I'll be 1 year sober from alcohol, my only escape from this empty feeling.

Dee74

Hi Justin

Congrats on your year

if you felt great on SSRIs why not talk to your doctor about going back on them?

I know that no one wants to be on meds - but some people need them to enjoy the quality of life others take for granted.

Not sure what your wife means when she says you look like a Zombie on them when you say you feel great, but there are a lot of SSRI options out there - your doctor might be able to help suggest something to help you and address your wife's concerns too?

D

Justin00

I feel like going back on meds is a step back, meaning that I didn't do anything to fix my situation and just took the easiest route. Moreover, I'm afraid that meds will make my brain chemistry worse.

While on SSRI's I feel fearless. This makes me quite different in someones eyes who knows me. When emotional situations occur I tend to be very calm and not focus too much on bad things. This is very comforting from my perspective, but for my wife it's unnatural.

Dee74

I resisted taking meds for my depression for years, but ended up taking an older style anti depressant for nerve pain, and that helped my depression as well.

I feel much better and my relationships are better for it too. It also helped me work out that not all drugs are bad and some drugs are helpful.

But...the bottom line is no one can make you take meds if you don't want to, Justin

There's a number of alternative treatments around...light boxes, herbal medicine, diet, meditation, acupuncture

I have no experience of them but if you're reluctant to go meds maybe they're worth a looksee.

D

bassplayer315

I to cannot handle SSRI's. What was the older med you spoke of for joint pain?

Dee74

Amitriptyline. its called Endep in Australia - I take it for nerve pain, not joint pain.

D

PhoenixJ

See your doc. I need professional advice on my a/d. To stop them myself, with no medical supervision would be very unwise.