I have talked to good therapists, ones I have known from treatment and being around recovery.

They just look at me not knowing what to say. I am pretty messed up. I got triggered by you using the word "privileges" scam word they use to take your rights away. People loose rights all the time after DUE PROCCESS OF LAW but those bastards call the right to travel a "privilege"

"The right of a citizen to travel upon the public highways and to transport his property thereon, by horse-drawn carriage, wagon, or automobile is not a mere privilege which may be permitted or prohibited at will, but a common right which he has under his right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Slusher vs. Safety Coach Transit Co., 229 Ky 731, 17 SW2d 1012, and affirmed by the Supreme Court in Thompson vs. Smith 154 S.E. 579.


After DUE PROCESS again the state can take rights, even take your life with the death penalty, whats next with these bastards life itself is a "privilege" they can just take at will ?? No Judge no jury just some bureaucrat who never even looked you in the eye or saw you in person says you don't get to live anymore ???

Judge told me one year revocation.

I have talked to therapist they cant do much for me.

I was in jail , I kicked my own ass the whole time that miserable place, I shouldent have let this happen , I knew the risks MY FAULT.

I DID NOT KNOW EX POST FACTO was legal now.

Maybe I would not have went out if the penalty was lifetime in 2009, the law did not exist yet.


The judge said one year revocation, you get your whole life back get sober start driving again help others do all the right things THEN ONE DAY 5 YEARS later out of the blue.

You did nothing wrong but.... You did everything right. but

WE CHANGED THE RULES after the fact LIFETIME REVOCATION.


What does a therapist tell me, practice acceptance that these cockroaches never even met me, never looked at me like the judge in my case did but destroy the rest of my life ???

What does a therapist tell me ?????

I cant just drive anyway like other people subjected to this, I am diabetic, they kill diabetics in jail.

I was not diabetic till AFTER I got this news retroactive revocation and fell apart and got sick THEY did this to me.


THEY WILL KILL ME.

"Cindy Michelle Arnold didn’t want to die.

She didn’t even want to be arrested, especially for violating her own protection order against her ex.

She pleaded with guards and medical personnel at the Jackson County jail to give her the insulin she needed to inject six to eight times a day to treat her Type 1 Diabetes, according to a lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court.

But as her condition worsened, the suit says, staff ignored her pleas for help."

DECEMBER 19, 2019 05:00 AM


/news/ local/ crime/ article238267348


‘She is still breathing, though’: Jail staff ignored diabetic inmate’s frantic pleas for insulin before her death in cell [Lawsuit]

by Jacquelyn Gray
December 20, 2019

/2019/12/20/she-is-still-breathing-though-jail-staff-ignored-diabetic-inmates-frantic-pleas-for-insulin-before-her-death-in-cell-lawsuit/

After Douglas Brown was booked into the Fulton County Jail for failing to pay child support, he repeatedly complained that he wasn’t receiving his twice-daily insulin for his diabetes. Despite his pleas, he missed doses and his health grew progressively worse.

Over the next 10 days, the 41-year-old Army veteran struggled with increasing pain, seizures, incontinence, confusion and lethargy until, finally, he was found dead on the floor of his cell with traces of vomit on his face.

/news/state--regional-govt--politics/for-some-prisons-and-jails-diabetes-has-meant-death-sentence/

Story after story after story

Rather do it myself then drive the car and give them the personal enjoyment of murdering me.

If the law in 2009 included lifetime revocation I never would have taken the damn ride for cigarettes.

Entrapment

Oh ya thats how Amerika works now

Fight with your bf gf or fail to pay child support they make you die from diabetic ketoacisosis.

All our lives are worthless to them

Im back chilled out a little bit. Go down that rabbit hole its bad.

I am very analytical do the math on things, diabetic my age can't use a car ever again none of any of the dreams I ever had coming true.

What about the people killed by drunk drivers ??

I did not kill anyone, what about the people killed by texting and driving and how 1 in 6 drivers waiting at the crossing I wait at drive by with a phone in their hand ??

Call me that monster that deserves this then send a text behind the wheel, i see everyone doing that.

Very interesting though how they got their jollies watching the dude beg and plead for medical help then die of diabetic acidosis right in front of their faces for failure to pay child support.

Insulin is not cheap.

"People in the United States of America are dying from type 1 diabetes. For many people, the cost for life saving medications each month is the same as an average months’ rent - or more. How is an average American to afford this? When it comes to type 1 diabetes, people are facing unthinkable decisions – between the costs of living and their very lives – because they live with a non-preventable disease."

It was at this apartment, on Monday June 10, 2019, that his fiancée Rose found him lying on the shower floor unresponsive.

Josh had gone into Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DKA). The doctors medically aided this coma further in order to cool his brain in hopes it would reduce the swelling caused by the DKA. Josh had been alone at the time, so there was no way of knowing how long he'd been ill before DKA set in.

.............

Twenty-one-year-old Jesimya David Scherer-Radcliff might still be alive if he could have afforded his insulin. KARE 11 reported on Sunday that the Minnesota man had been rationing the insulin he needed to treat his diabetes.

...............

Think they care I have type 1 and need to get to doctors... I need to eart right. Cant use my F car.

I got speeding tickets as a teen 30 years ago, so F my whole life too many points.

..............

Twenty-one-year-old Jesimya David Scherer-Radcliff might still be alive if he could have afforded his insulin. KARE 11 reported on Sunday that the Minnesota man had been rationing the insulin he needed to treat his diabetes.
....................

Something tells me Douglas Brown the dude they murdered for child support was behind on child support cause they charge $330 fora vial of insulin that cost $5 to manufacture.

Google it "cost of making insulin". I dont make this up. Doesn't matter how many of us die they need profit.

"Put another way, the study estimated the cost of production for a vial of human insulin is between $2.28 and $3.42, while the production cost for a vial of most analog insulins is between $3.69 and $6.16, according to the study in BMJ Global Health."

I am the mental case saying they "want" us dead ???

Jan 4, 2019 - When Nicole Smith-Holt's 26-year-old son died, he had just moved out of his parents' home and was starting a life of his own. ... But turning 26 meant his parents' insurance would no longer cover the cost, shooting his monthly cost for insulin and supplies up to $1,300 per month, according to his mom.

So he rationed it and is dead now.

..............

The list price of insulin has gone from about $20 per vial in 1996, when Humalog entered the market, to about $275 per vial today. Humalog patients typically use about two vials a month, Lilly said.Mar 4, 2019

This is messed up though,

How long can I keep this up ??

Only way I know out of that pit of depression is hating on those bastards who did this too me.

When I feel hate and anger I dont feel the depression that my life is done. Diabetes no more driving for life. its over.

Its like the first episode of star trek.

Ironically called "the cage" like stuck at home cant drive anywhere. SOB

"Do emotions like hate-- keeping hate in your mind-- does that block off our mind from them ? Yes.
They can't read through primitive emotions.
But you can't keep it up for long enough.
I've tried.
They keep at you and at you, year after year, tricking and punishing.
And they won.
They own me.

Transcript from Star Trek very first episode.

That's me year after year every day the punishment for life.

Every day everyone else all those people in AA same past as me they get to move on punish me till my dead day "lifetime"

I am going to be dead soon. I am not stupid I know the long term effects anger stress.

I will stop this soon I tell myself, till I am stuck at home alone cant live like everyone else cause they did this too me EX POST FACTO

That's the irony. I was "good at" AA

They took me out now more people drinking and driving.

I did not quit AA out of spite. I was going to go last night , did not feel like taking the F bicycle out.

I am sick and depressed , tough ass f too but not that easy though "just pick yourself up"

Maybe that's arrogant thinking but I did recruit members with my "just hang out and see if you like it" no pressure approach to newcomers.

They hurt more people then me taking me out.

Got this one idea I could hurt them with,

If I could get the names of evewryone they are subjecting to this lifetime revocation and see how many are dead now.

Prove that its a death sentance.

Its not just me sitting here hopeless. I am not speacial. Been around recovewry long enough know what the F its are.

What are the long term outcomes of people subjected to this one size fits all lifetime driving revocation ??

Take away all hope of ever having a normal life again from a person with addiction alcoholism.

Its a death sentence. Of course it is.

How do I track the other people they did this too ????

Ironically called "the cage" like stuck at home cant drive anywhere. SOB

"Do emotions like hate-- keeping hate in your mind-- does that block off our mind from them ? Yes.
They can't read through primitive emotions.
But you can't keep it up for long enough.
I've tried.
They keep at you and at you, year after year, tricking and punishing.
And they won.
They own me.

- Transcript from Star Trek very first episode.

I can't keep this up.

It "works" feeling angry is better then the depression despair of the very real reality I will never have a normal life now but not much.

Just accept it, you are always going to be different from other peopole cause some people you never met decided to eff your whole life ??

That's a very tall order.

I wish drinking still worked. I get so sick from that **** now. Of course I would still do it if I could.

I don't want to feel this ****. I would LOVE to do the drinking lifestyle.

No drive who cares just drink all the time. Party be around people.

It doesnt work it just makes me sick. Of course I tried going back to it after they told me.

Of course I did, F this I cant drive anymore, life is totally **** ed . The first thing I did after years good sobriety was drink.

Perfect excuse, well my whole life effed now anyway, go ahead drink, but I got sick so fast.

Sucks.

I was a good guy but thats slipping I have thoughts like I hope since they increased the punishment more people drive without a licence and then run from the cops crash and more people get killed.

Thats very sick **** but I think it sometimes.

Sick but is it any worse then the people that charge $300 for life saving medicine that cost $5 to make knowing people die ??

Maybe I should get sicker and fit into this world better.

This is not healthy for me.

I absolutely dwelled on this longer by writing about it instead of getting distracted by other stuff./

Every day I go in the pit anger despair but longer doing this.

Original goal post here find other people subjected to this. Not dwell and get worse.

I will check back in a week. This not good for me.

Anyone finds this thread on the search, please sign up this website. Post here or private message.

I just want to talk someone experiencing same thing, this "ex post facto lifetime revocation NYS DMV".

No. not just talk to me, I want many of us to connect. This is screwed up what they did to us.

Thanks sober recovery helping me with this.

HI Kyle.

You are so right. This is not healthy. For your own mental and physical health, you must find something else to focus on. You are in a stinking situation, no doubt about it. However, you are still alive. You still have the choice to have a life. You have to find a way to work around this. I say this in kindness because I know it has to be very hard.

I hope your doing good today.

Just wanted to reply. I am going to stay out of that despair pit.

I will be OK.

Hi Kyle,

You may get more responses if you post in the Newcomers section. I hope you’re doing a little better today.

Ya thanks but I don't think anyone subjected to lifetime driving revocation is in the newcomers section as they destroy all hope of recovery and returning to a normal life.

I hate to say it but this system wants us dead. Seen it so many times in my 6 years of recovery people on the right track doing well and they have the system on there back impending court date, threat of jail and they go out and drink/use to get relief.

I was all in on recovery, I probably been to 5 years times 365 lets say 1500 AA meetings.

I got the news lifetime revocation and I stopped going to AA. Not as an act of rebellion or something I just dont want to hear it, the stories of other people what it was like , 6 Duis and what it is like now a new life and all that behind them cause its never going to be behind me I am going to be punished every day for the rest of my life for fewer DUI then most people at AA

I miss it the fellowship of AA but it triggers me, triggers my anger hearing everyone else with the same past gets to recover to a normal life and I don't.

I am not superman. Mother Teresa or some saint its too much for me.

All I feel is hate. I am done screwed forever. My life is blood sugar and finding a ride.

tHEY TOLD ME LIFETIME REVOCATION IS NOT A PUnshment.

Well my suicde was not a payback it was just my way of not living the daily pain.


FU this ******* world unfair world FU

I am going to be dead soon as a direct result of this

FU

all the people who said "I am soory this happened to you" and did not help me.

This thread is my suicide note.

What was my thinking ?

I drank cause I always felt different from other people.

Now I really am the guy who cant drive can never have a normal life.

well its over FU

Drinking till Ia am dead.

thats where I am goloing now to get more drunk till I am dead

Suicide is kind of a payback.'


All the people that claim to care about me just watch this destroy me and did not get angry.

All the people who saw me recover from alocoholism and start a new life.

They just watch and say "I am sorry this happened to you"

No anger ne action no backup

so watch me die now. see you in hell

I hope you stop drinking and call some numbers Kyle

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ease-read.html

This is unsolicited advice but I'm gonna give it anyway

If getting my license back was important to me, I'd take on a lawyer no matter how grim they told me the outlook was.

I'd see a psychiatrist to get a measure of how much this has affected your mental health. Get them to document that.

I'd get references from[people who know you and are willing to vouch for your good character.

I'd also be very careful about I posted on the internet here and elsewhere cos you never know it may come into play one day.

If you can't move on from this (and that's not a criticism, but an observation) then you should fight for what you believe is right.

You can only do that if you're here to fight.

D

Hey Kyle - one of my favorite names!

I signed up just to respond to you. Maybe you are blowing this thing a little out of proportion? Millions of people don't drive. I can drive, I choose not to because the insurance is way too high - better to take mass transit. I take the subway, bus,, Uber. I don't ever want another car. Maybe just move forward. I am pretty sure I wouldn't kill myself over a car. It's a car - you can get around without it.

I truly am sorry this has happened to you, but honestly, it is not the end of the world. I know you don't want to hear it, but there are folks out there who have it way worse than you do, but still manage to get where they need to be. They manage to get through life by making changes and figuring out how they are going to do what needs to be done.

If you suffered some type of accident and lost your right leg or were in some other way physically unable to drive, would you contemplate suicide over it? Driving a car is not the end all and be all. You can still have a normal life, you will just have to make some changes. It is seriously no reason to drink yourself to death.

We understand you are very angry about losing your license, and yes, that does sound like an unfair punishment, but get an attorney and fight it. Put your energy into trying to actually do something about it instead of just giving up and drinking yourself into oblivion. No one wants you dead, Kyle.

If you are watching a discovery channel special about Yellowstone park and say I would like to go there you can go to airport rent car and enjoy yourself. Me I am in the same trap as soon as I get there.

I am type one diabetes. I got to follow this diet. Cost me $20 to get to the supermarket or ride my damn bike.

Doctor visit is $70.

Pushing 50 YO put an ad on a dating site and ask who wants a 50 old diabetic man who can never use a car again ??

They killed every hope and dream I ever had.

Yes I can get around without it. I can uber around.

That was my reward for 6 years sober doing all the right things the state comes and retroactively kills every hope of a normal life again.

Every person I meet asks why don't you drive ?

Do I lie to everyone or tell them I am one of those monsters society hates, people who get DUIs ?

Thats cool you signed up for this website for me and I won't make the mistake come at you with anger, done that here before, but you can't get it unless your living it. Outside observers cant get it.

I drank like many people did, cause I felt not part of, different from everyone else.

Now I really am different from everyone else, I am the diabetes guy who can't drive wile all the other men my age go out and get stuff done, I am always stuck.

I will never be happy the metro lifestlye. Some people like it but its not me. I don't want to pay an uber 20 to get a light bulb at home depot.

This was a vicious evil doing this to me 6 years into my recovery retroactively.

Never lost my leg in an accident so I don't know.

I had a doctor walk into my hospital room and say type 1 diabetes multiple daily injections and like textbook if you search 'stages of grief chronic illness' I went through them all till acceptance.

The retroactive increasing the punishment years later driver licence thing was done to me by vicious human beings.

A small child knows enough about right and wrong to know increasing punishment from what it was after breaking the rule is wrong.

6 years ago you were late for class. Well we just increased the punishment 100 times and are applying it to you. a small child even old knows thats wrong.

My life was ruined by callous indifferent vicious human beings, much different then an illness.

If the punishment was lifetime when I did it I could kick myself in the ass. They increased it from a year to lifetime years later. Years after I went back to driving and started a whole new sober life.

If you are watching a discovery channel special about Yellowstone park and say I would like to go there you can go to airport rent car and enjoy yourself. Me I am in the same trap as soon as I get there. Take an Uber to the airport (lots of people who can drive do this). Fly to Yellowstone. Use Uber or public transportation to get around and enjoy your vacation. Yes, it is a bit more expensive, but you can still have your vacation.

I am type one diabetes. I got to follow this diet. Cost me $20 to get to the supermarket or ride my damn bike. There are delivery services for groceries. I use one myself since I now physically have a hard time grocery shopping. Most have free delivery if you make an order of $35.00.

Doctor visit is $70. Would be the same if you drove there.

Pushing 50 YO put an ad on a dating site and ask who wants a 50 old diabetic man who can never use a car again ?? A lot of people have diabetes and a lot of people use Uber on dates.

They killed every hope and dream I ever had. No, they really didn't.

Yes I can get around without it. I can uber around. Exactly!

That was my reward for 6 years sober doing all the right things the state comes and retroactively kills every hope of a normal life again. Again, get an attorney and fight it.

Every person I meet asks why don't you drive?

Do I lie to everyone or tell them I am one of those monsters society hates, people who get DUIs ? You can tell them whatever you want, but it's really none of their business.

Thats cool you signed up for this website for me and I won't make the mistake come at you with anger, done that here before, but you can't get it unless your living it. Outside observers cant get it. There are people here who are more than just observers, Kyle.

I drank like many people did, cause I felt not part of, different from everyone else. A lot of us felt that way, and we also drank until we realized that alcohol isn't the solution to anything.

Now I really am different from everyone else, I am the diabetes guy who can't drive wile all the other men my age go out and get stuff done, I am always stuck. You are not stuck. You can go out and get stuff done, too. You just need to change the way you do it.

I will never be happy the metro lifestlye. Some people like it but its not me. I don't want to pay an uber 20 to get a light bulb at home depot. If you were wheelchair bound or had some other physical inability to go to Home Depot for a light bulb, would you drink yourself to death over it?

This was a vicious evil doing this to me 6 years into my recovery retroactively. Again, use all the energy you are wasting by drinking and feeling sorry for yourself, and fight it.

My original intention was fighting. I need to find the other people.

Sometimes I have ideas that make total sense to me but then I run them by other people just to make sure.

Its my belief that the other several thousand of people they did this retroactive thing too to have a suicide and overdose rate that far exceeds any other demographic.

Lets not kid around here alcoholism and addiction is deadly. I have dead peoples numbers in my phone. I feel guilty deleting them. Any of us that been around recovery for any length of time knows people who are no longer with us.

There can not be any other result but an increase in suicide and over dose if you add the burden on the resentment of lifetime retroactive revocation on a person who already suffers alcoholism/addiction and the mental issues that always goes with it.

I am an angry and resentful SOB I hate the state but I am not all self centered. I am not the only one they are destroying.

I am not that special, I am not the only one subjected to ex post facto lifetime revocation that wakes up at 4 am cant go back to sleep pondering WTF do I do with my life now ?

No way everyone else moved on to acceptance somehow.

Maybe I am different the way I hate them take it personal but the impact of lifetime retroactive driver licence revocation impacts peoples lives.

Is my thinking flawed, is the suicide and overdose rate among people subjected to this lifetime retroactive licence revocation not almost certainly higher then any other group ?

Going to meetings is 10 times harder, seeing the doctor, job , relationship every aspect of life in todays motorcar society 10 times harder.

Even people who don't over think everything like I do many of them must think why get sober they are never giving my driver licence back anyway so whats the point. Even if they don't intellectualize it at all the added stress, isolation, hopelessness and depression.

It can't just be me, I am not that special. I am not unique.

No I would hang out with other people in wheel chairs.

With me my legs still work and I have the system forcing me to be handicapped. Inflicting the handicap. That comparison is not valid.

9 years in recovery never met a single person subjected to this lifetime retro active revocation. Never ever met anyone 6 years into recovery they retroactivly rip away their new life.

I am completely alone in this.

If those people were in wheelchairs only because the state said ex post facto they are not allowed to walk anymore they would hate them as much as I do.

If we catch you walking you will be kidnapped (arrested) and extorted by the state...

People wheelchairs would hate them as much as I do.

Sure it is. Regardless of how they became unable to drive a car, they still found other ways of going places and doing stuff. They manage to lead full, happy productive lives because they didn't allow their handicap beat them down.

It is glaringly apparent that your hatred of the State is what you are focusing on instead of accepting that, right now, you need to find other ways to get around. You don't like those options, but if you want to get from point A to point B, you are going to have to find a way to do that.

In the meantime, find an attorney and fight this thing. You don't have to wait to find others who have suffered the same situation. If it is worth fighting for, then fight alone if you have to.

Kyle, many people have diabetes and take mass transportation. My best friend has Stage 4 Cancer, works 40 hours a week and takes the bus everywhere.

You really need to find some way to move on from this obsession about losing your license. Just my opinion, but the idea of finding other people to fund some kind of study about a correlation between not being able to drive and suicide is a no-go. Millions of people don't drive and don't commit suicide. You seem like such a smart person, but you really need to move on with your life. There are plenty of people who use mass transportation who have illnesses. I am one.

They murdered the future I would have had and replaced it with daily depression isolation and hardship.

Its not valid comparing me to a person in wheelchair.

They are in wheelchair because of nature not threats from their fellow man.

You are right I should try and do better then I am doing.

This wheelchair comparison is not valid. I accepted diabetes and multiple daily injections. Like the legs person wheelchair my beta cells are never growing back. I get that.

My diabetes is not inflicted by people I never met who never met me never looked me in the face. It just happened.

Accepting retroactive punishment is not an easy thing. I don't think I ever will.

My feelings are not invalid or illogical at all. I had my whole life back 6 years later they destroyed it. Lifetime revocation was my reward for doing all the right things for 6 years.

F them, they can go to hell.

They inflicted it on me retroactively.

My hatred and other feelings are not illegitimate.

I can't just make them go away.

So easy for outside observers just say suck it up and move on. They murdered the future I was going to have and replaced it with daily depression and hardship.

They can go to hell.