episodic alcoholism
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
I guess you could call me an "episodic drinker." There is definitely a correlation in alcohol use in depression and cocaine use in mania. However, it was nowhere near a perfect correlation, and I think some of it is verbal gymnastics saying I was a binge drinker in another way.
I think it's a bit of a chicken and egg problem. It doesn't really matter whether drinking caused the mental illness (or made it worse) or the mental illness caused the drinking (or made it worse). The reality was that eventually I would get depressed or hypomanic and drink to excess and there would be extensive negative consequences. The only answer was to stop the drinking, and the only way to really do that was to address both the alcoholism/addiction and the mental illness through medication and therapy.
The result is a stable and joyful life. Leave either of the two in place and the result is a terrible and addicted life.
Also, my understanding is the only real difference between Bipolar I and Bipolar II is the severity of the episodes. Bipolar I is about mania, which ends in one of three ways...death, jail or hospitalization, and can have psychotic features (the depression in Bipolar I can also have psychotic features). Bipolar II is about HYPOMANIA, which is a milder form and doesn't involve psychosis, and doesn't always lead to jail, hospitalization or death. Bipolar II depression can be devastating and severe, but doesn't involve psychosis.
I think it's a bit of a chicken and egg problem. It doesn't really matter whether drinking caused the mental illness (or made it worse) or the mental illness caused the drinking (or made it worse). The reality was that eventually I would get depressed or hypomanic and drink to excess and there would be extensive negative consequences. The only answer was to stop the drinking, and the only way to really do that was to address both the alcoholism/addiction and the mental illness through medication and therapy.
The result is a stable and joyful life. Leave either of the two in place and the result is a terrible and addicted life.
Also, my understanding is the only real difference between Bipolar I and Bipolar II is the severity of the episodes. Bipolar I is about mania, which ends in one of three ways...death, jail or hospitalization, and can have psychotic features (the depression in Bipolar I can also have psychotic features). Bipolar II is about HYPOMANIA, which is a milder form and doesn't involve psychosis, and doesn't always lead to jail, hospitalization or death. Bipolar II depression can be devastating and severe, but doesn't involve psychosis.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 111
So what do you do when you are three years sober and have been in a three year depression with not a day of relief from medications ? I see so many here that struggle with mental illness but have found a med that gives some
relief . I’m not feeling sorry for myself , I just have no relief and the pull to go back to drinking gets stronger the longer it goes on . I have lost all
hope . Do you all feel there is any chance of a remission for me after three years ?
relief . I’m not feeling sorry for myself , I just have no relief and the pull to go back to drinking gets stronger the longer it goes on . I have lost all
hope . Do you all feel there is any chance of a remission for me after three years ?
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
First, Sammy, hope you are still around here and sober, if not posting!
And rhaman...I do believe there is almost always hope as long as we are alive. But I also see how some people just cannot live truly beyond their mental illness. I have seen but not looked into your thread so this might be already answered, but what about therapy you are doing? Different kinds have helped me over time. Def needed along w meds.
And rhaman...I do believe there is almost always hope as long as we are alive. But I also see how some people just cannot live truly beyond their mental illness. I have seen but not looked into your thread so this might be already answered, but what about therapy you are doing? Different kinds have helped me over time. Def needed along w meds.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 111
Originally Posted by August252015 
First, Sammy, hope you are still around here and sober, if not posting!
And rhaman...I do believe there is almost always hope as long as we are alive. But I also see how some people just cannot live truly beyond their mental illness. I have seen but not looked into your thread so this might be already answered, but what about therapy you are doing? Different kinds have helped me over time. Def needed along w meds.
And rhaman...I do believe there is almost always hope as long as we are alive. But I also see how some people just cannot live truly beyond their mental illness. I have seen but not looked into your thread so this might be already answered, but what about therapy you are doing? Different kinds have helped me over time. Def needed along w meds.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 111
Originally Posted by August252015
First, Sammy, hope you are still around here and sober, if not posting!
And rhaman...I do believe there is almost always hope as long as we are alive. But I also see how some people just cannot live truly beyond their mental illness. I have seen but not looked into your thread so this might be already answered, but what about therapy you are doing? Different kinds have helped me over time. Def needed along w meds.
And rhaman...I do believe there is almost always hope as long as we are alive. But I also see how some people just cannot live truly beyond their mental illness. I have seen but not looked into your thread so this might be already answered, but what about therapy you are doing? Different kinds have helped me over time. Def needed along w meds.
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: Upper Chichester, Pennsylvania
Posts: 121
That’s me all over - episodic drinker. Of course every time is “the last time”. And of all places I usually, at my age drink when I’m out to lunch with friends. Yes, I’m the one ordering one after another when nobody else at the table is even drinking. I shouldn’t go out to lunch - that would be one solution ! But part of me looks forward to that “one drink”. “Oh yes” I tell myself “this time we’ll really have only one”.
Fortunately I only go out to lunch very occasionally - maybe a few times a year. But at my age - one of these occasions could possibly be my last lunch on this earth. And that scares me !
Fortunately I only go out to lunch very occasionally - maybe a few times a year. But at my age - one of these occasions could possibly be my last lunch on this earth. And that scares me !
Member
Join Date: Aug 2021
Posts: 9
enaiddes-- I so feel this. That's exactly how I've been. I literally just had my (hopefully) last binge and blackout a few days ago, I'm totally new to this. But I go through periods of sobriety, so it felt so hard to admit it was a problem. It was always just me not being good at moderation. It's helpful to know that there are other people who struggled with this type as well. I already find myself wondering if it's ever going to be possible for me to be someone who just has one drink, if I'll ever be sober "long enough" that I can have tools, or if the other was really the last drink I'll have...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,438
As I think I said before in this thread, I started as a binge drinker but things progressed. I think its like that for most people who end up here.
Not drinking at all was not the loss I thought it would be - it gave me back my life and the real me
D
Not drinking at all was not the loss I thought it would be - it gave me back my life and the real me
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2021
Posts: 9
Dee-- first of all, thanks for clearly being such an awesome mod and supportive presence! Second, do you still feel the urge to binge drink often? Does that get to go away? Because I feel like one of the things about binge or episodic drinking is that you don't have that feeling all the time, just randomly, and it would be nice to see an end point to that
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,438
Hi Clara
Thnanks for the kind words.
I started as a binge drinker on weekends - Friday til Sunday - then progressed to nightly after work drinking.
It's hard for me to look back 20-30 years to what I was feeling then but my drinking increased so I definitely felt a desire to drink, or more honestly - a urge to get away with secret drinking and still be a good worker, friend, son etc.
Things happened, I quit my job to study, got sick...I eventually progressed to drinking all day - but I think binge drinking is just as harmful as any other kind of drinking - you might drink less overall but you pack it into a shorter period?
I've been sober for nearly fifteen years now.
I've sometimes thought about drinking as a solution if I'm in really bad pain in the middle of the night, thats happened 2 or 3 times over 15 years but you can smack that away pretty easily and that feeling never survives into the next day,
I feel honest when I say I don't have the urge to drink anymore
D
Thnanks for the kind words.
I started as a binge drinker on weekends - Friday til Sunday - then progressed to nightly after work drinking.
It's hard for me to look back 20-30 years to what I was feeling then but my drinking increased so I definitely felt a desire to drink, or more honestly - a urge to get away with secret drinking and still be a good worker, friend, son etc.
Things happened, I quit my job to study, got sick...I eventually progressed to drinking all day - but I think binge drinking is just as harmful as any other kind of drinking - you might drink less overall but you pack it into a shorter period?
I've been sober for nearly fifteen years now.
I've sometimes thought about drinking as a solution if I'm in really bad pain in the middle of the night, thats happened 2 or 3 times over 15 years but you can smack that away pretty easily and that feeling never survives into the next day,
I feel honest when I say I don't have the urge to drink anymore
D
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,051
Hi Clara, a hearty welcome to SR! I can't add much more than what Dee's shared. Although I may romance the thought of an icy cold beer on a hot summer day in Phoenix, those days are 16 years ago and my life is an incredible roller coaster ride of happiness and adventures. Don't get me wrong, I have my rough days too as I struggle with anxiety, depression, and painful arthritis, but sobriety has given me the ability to be a real person, and to have relationships that I never thought were possible.
I wish you the best on your recovery journey and hope we'll see more of you here.
I wish you the best on your recovery journey and hope we'll see more of you here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2021
Posts: 9
Dee and Astro-- thank you both for your thoughts and advice. It's so helpful to hear that there are people who used to drink like me and have been sober for over a decade-- only occasional cravings sounds amazing! For me it's always been more emotional than physical pain, but I'm starting a new thread about that!
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