Stigmatized by the least expected
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Originally Posted by pathwaytofree 
i appreciate your honesty. I had a relative who had anxiety but never had depression, so she didn't understand why i couldn't just "snap out of it".
For a person with depression, trying to get out of bed or get someplace on time is sort of like having to walk with 500 pounds on your back through thick fog while walking through mud. It's really hard to explain. Depression is just this "weight" on you that slows you down.
I think this is a great explanation. To the point and effective.
Kudos to anyone who has done that.
That's unfortunately a good way to view it. People judge what they see, by what they were taught or heard. And they move on. Sad.
I don't know anyone who is bipolar so i can't comment. But i don't like to judge people especially when i haven't walked in their shoes. Bipolar 2 is different than bipolar 1. I don't have mania. I have had times of hypomania. I take my meds. I liked the "energy" i got from hypomania but i wouldn't not take my meds. I really think you're stigmatizing here, just because you know two people who are bipolar 1 and don't take their meds. If i stopped taking my meds but my husband said it made me hard to live with, i would go back to taking my meds. But in my opinion i think someone who is bipolar may feel that manic was easier to live with than depressed. But i have no idea since i've never been manic. And my hypomania episodes were few and far between.
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Yes you do make good points. But it's a bit of a catch-22 at times. I'm trying to tell myself appointments are 15 minutes earlier than they really are.
I can see how this would be really hard and take alot of self discipline.
I'm not sure how? I know my therapist is trying to teach me to be nonchalant and say stuff like, "oh sorry, that's just my anxiety!" so i don't make people uncomfortable. But i am not sure how to be honest about my depression. One time someone who wanted me to call said "hey ptf you were supposed to call me!" and i took a chance and said, "oh that's just me--i tend to isolate when i get like this." but i'm not sure she understood.
How can i be honest with people about my anxiety and depression? Can i really say something like, "sorry i didn't send you a christmas card, my depression makes it hard to motivate myself to do something as simple as write out a card"?? I still think people would misunderstand. Or, "hey, sorry for talking your ear off the other day, my anxiety around people sometimes causes me to do that." won't people be uncomfortable with my mentioning depression and anxiety in the first place?
I think the stigma attached to depression and anxiety is lessening. It's still there, but it's less. I open up to certain people about my anxiety. People who i think will understand, or people that i care about. I do so because i beleive those friendships are worth it. I also have what i call "surface" friends that i dont share much with. That's ok.
It sort of reminds me of a scene in terms of endearment, where a woman says, "so your mother tells me you have cancer!" at a party, and the other woman spits out her drink.
They don't have the knowledge, and they don't care to learn to understand it or to gain the knowledge. My cousins are like that and would rather just think i'm crazy, i don't care, or whatever they want to think to make themselves feel better about not having a relationship with me.
You deserve more, but they won't see that because of their own mentality.
Depression and anxiety are not personality disorders. Neither is bipolar, which you mentioned.
I completely understand they are not. However, many people in the field of mental health deal with people with personality disorders, anxiety, depression, and all sorts of other issues. It is a fact that many cases of bipolar go untreated, as do many other mental health issues. It brings frustration to the patient and to the employees in the field. You obviously control your medications and do the right things for your wellness, which is wonderful!
I can understand that.
This is what does not make sense to me. My depression and anxiety are not my fault. If someone could wave a magic wand and poof! I wake up tomorrow with the ability to reach for wellness, send them my way.
I completely understand and agree. We all have issues mental or physical, or both, that we wish were not part of our lives.
You make it sound like people enjoy being depressed/anxious/bipolar or whatever, and that we're selfish because we enjoy being this way and would rather be destructive than well. It's not a freaking choice. I don't wake up and say "i know i'd feel better if i reached toward wellness, but f*ck it, i think being depressed and anxious is more fun and i don't care who i hurt in the process." seriously, is that what you really think?
No, i don't think that, and i don't think i ever said anything of the sort. In no way do i think any mental illness is a choice, nor do i think it's something anyone wants. It's a fact of life that has to be dealt with. What i said is that many other people in their own ignorance may think that. Big difference.
I worked in healthcare and not once did i think this way about the populations i tried to help. I did my best to try to help them. I realized something was blocking them from helping themselves. But i didn't create a single stigma against them. I treated them with respect.
Good for you! The healthcare system needs more people who are willing to treat others without stigma and with respect. You are a credit to the field. I am not being snarky in any of my comments, i mean this!
Did you work in mental health as that is specifically the jobs i was speaking of, not general healthcare. Although, i believe people in general healthcare get frustrated as well. I am only saying that they burn out quickly.
Thank you.
.
That helps to hear.
I'm sorry to hear that.
That's great you have a support system even if they don't understand what you're going through. That's great you have learned tools to help combat it.
I agree. I am very lucky to have a support system. Some are blood relatives. Some are not. I will have anxiety for the rest of my life. I cannot expect anyone to understand it who does not also have it, but i am grateful that i am supported. I believe the more i share and am honest about it the more the stigma is removed. And those that still carry that stigma are not my people.
Thank you.
For a person with depression, trying to get out of bed or get someplace on time is sort of like having to walk with 500 pounds on your back through thick fog while walking through mud. It's really hard to explain. Depression is just this "weight" on you that slows you down.
I think this is a great explanation. To the point and effective.
Kudos to anyone who has done that.
That's unfortunately a good way to view it. People judge what they see, by what they were taught or heard. And they move on. Sad.
I don't know anyone who is bipolar so i can't comment. But i don't like to judge people especially when i haven't walked in their shoes. Bipolar 2 is different than bipolar 1. I don't have mania. I have had times of hypomania. I take my meds. I liked the "energy" i got from hypomania but i wouldn't not take my meds. I really think you're stigmatizing here, just because you know two people who are bipolar 1 and don't take their meds. If i stopped taking my meds but my husband said it made me hard to live with, i would go back to taking my meds. But in my opinion i think someone who is bipolar may feel that manic was easier to live with than depressed. But i have no idea since i've never been manic. And my hypomania episodes were few and far between.
.
Yes you do make good points. But it's a bit of a catch-22 at times. I'm trying to tell myself appointments are 15 minutes earlier than they really are.
I can see how this would be really hard and take alot of self discipline.
I'm not sure how? I know my therapist is trying to teach me to be nonchalant and say stuff like, "oh sorry, that's just my anxiety!" so i don't make people uncomfortable. But i am not sure how to be honest about my depression. One time someone who wanted me to call said "hey ptf you were supposed to call me!" and i took a chance and said, "oh that's just me--i tend to isolate when i get like this." but i'm not sure she understood.
How can i be honest with people about my anxiety and depression? Can i really say something like, "sorry i didn't send you a christmas card, my depression makes it hard to motivate myself to do something as simple as write out a card"?? I still think people would misunderstand. Or, "hey, sorry for talking your ear off the other day, my anxiety around people sometimes causes me to do that." won't people be uncomfortable with my mentioning depression and anxiety in the first place?
I think the stigma attached to depression and anxiety is lessening. It's still there, but it's less. I open up to certain people about my anxiety. People who i think will understand, or people that i care about. I do so because i beleive those friendships are worth it. I also have what i call "surface" friends that i dont share much with. That's ok.
It sort of reminds me of a scene in terms of endearment, where a woman says, "so your mother tells me you have cancer!" at a party, and the other woman spits out her drink.
They don't have the knowledge, and they don't care to learn to understand it or to gain the knowledge. My cousins are like that and would rather just think i'm crazy, i don't care, or whatever they want to think to make themselves feel better about not having a relationship with me.
You deserve more, but they won't see that because of their own mentality.
Depression and anxiety are not personality disorders. Neither is bipolar, which you mentioned.
I completely understand they are not. However, many people in the field of mental health deal with people with personality disorders, anxiety, depression, and all sorts of other issues. It is a fact that many cases of bipolar go untreated, as do many other mental health issues. It brings frustration to the patient and to the employees in the field. You obviously control your medications and do the right things for your wellness, which is wonderful!
I can understand that.
This is what does not make sense to me. My depression and anxiety are not my fault. If someone could wave a magic wand and poof! I wake up tomorrow with the ability to reach for wellness, send them my way.
I completely understand and agree. We all have issues mental or physical, or both, that we wish were not part of our lives.
You make it sound like people enjoy being depressed/anxious/bipolar or whatever, and that we're selfish because we enjoy being this way and would rather be destructive than well. It's not a freaking choice. I don't wake up and say "i know i'd feel better if i reached toward wellness, but f*ck it, i think being depressed and anxious is more fun and i don't care who i hurt in the process." seriously, is that what you really think?
No, i don't think that, and i don't think i ever said anything of the sort. In no way do i think any mental illness is a choice, nor do i think it's something anyone wants. It's a fact of life that has to be dealt with. What i said is that many other people in their own ignorance may think that. Big difference.
I worked in healthcare and not once did i think this way about the populations i tried to help. I did my best to try to help them. I realized something was blocking them from helping themselves. But i didn't create a single stigma against them. I treated them with respect.
Good for you! The healthcare system needs more people who are willing to treat others without stigma and with respect. You are a credit to the field. I am not being snarky in any of my comments, i mean this!
Did you work in mental health as that is specifically the jobs i was speaking of, not general healthcare. Although, i believe people in general healthcare get frustrated as well. I am only saying that they burn out quickly.
Thank you.
.
That helps to hear.
I'm sorry to hear that.
That's great you have a support system even if they don't understand what you're going through. That's great you have learned tools to help combat it.
I agree. I am very lucky to have a support system. Some are blood relatives. Some are not. I will have anxiety for the rest of my life. I cannot expect anyone to understand it who does not also have it, but i am grateful that i am supported. I believe the more i share and am honest about it the more the stigma is removed. And those that still carry that stigma are not my people.
Thank you.
I hope you can see that in no way was i trying to be anything other than supportive, but with realism of what i see happening in the world. Just because i think others think a certain way in their own ignorance does not mean i agree with them. It just means i can see the world still has alot of work to do in dealing with mental illness, but together we can reach out for support and try to educate others and make progress.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,271
Originally Posted by hopeful4
thank you as well.
I hope you can see that in no way was i trying to be anything other than supportive, but with realism of what i see happening in the world. Just because i think others think a certain way in their own ignorance does not mean i agree with them. It just means i can see the world still has alot of work to do in dealing with mental illness, but together we can reach out for support and try to educate others and make progress.
I hope you can see that in no way was i trying to be anything other than supportive, but with realism of what i see happening in the world. Just because i think others think a certain way in their own ignorance does not mean i agree with them. It just means i can see the world still has alot of work to do in dealing with mental illness, but together we can reach out for support and try to educate others and make progress.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
It is changing.
I have two children. One who has went through a bout of extreme depression. They are both very willing to talk about their experiences. They tell people they are in counseling. They share all about it. It gives me hope that things really are changing, but there will be some people who come from a time that the just cannot accept mental illnesses or feel comfortable talking about it.
You can only pray for them, but continue to work on YOU! It's all any of us can do!
I am glad you are here.
ps...I don't know how my font got to be so huge in my post, I am so sorry about that! By the time I tried to change it, it was too late and I could not.
I have two children. One who has went through a bout of extreme depression. They are both very willing to talk about their experiences. They tell people they are in counseling. They share all about it. It gives me hope that things really are changing, but there will be some people who come from a time that the just cannot accept mental illnesses or feel comfortable talking about it.
You can only pray for them, but continue to work on YOU! It's all any of us can do!
I am glad you are here.
ps...I don't know how my font got to be so huge in my post, I am so sorry about that! By the time I tried to change it, it was too late and I could not.
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