Sam31p

Mental Health is just impossible to live with and I dont know why the NHS are so bad for the right help.

I've been seeing different GP's for 10 years and one way or another, weather it's the GP or if I'm lucky to see them, a mental health nurse, it's the same old.

For me, it takes a lot to go to a GP. I feel intimidated by them. It sets my anxiety symptoms off to the extreme. So when I do see them, I try and deal with the issue at hand....What causes me the most suffering?

Mental health of course. I mention it, often have it played down. Leave with no support.

As time has gone on, other issues develop. Lump in neck that wont go away, lump in leg and groin.

Again, months later I pluck up that courage to go to the GP..... What issue comes first? Of course, Mental health. Which is the greatest suffering for me. No help, not understood. I leave empty handed.

I just don't see any reason to mention those hard lumps I have.

Appointments are 1 problem per appointment. So is it fair to say, I'm not going to pluck up that courage to go, perhaps for the first time in 6 months and be like "yeah, check this lump" when it doesn't bother me because the Mental health pain and suffering is so much greater.

I'm of course always going to try and get mental health support.... Which never happens....Which makes me care less about myself and my own life or health.

Dee74

I'm sorry it's so hard Sam. I have no local UK knowledge to share - perhaps others do - all I can do is encourage you to keep trying...do make an appointment specifically for those lumps...and of course to try and not self medicate with alcohol.

D

Guener

I know that mental health issues cause us to neglect ourselves physically, I have been through that part even while not drinking at the time, and that's what you are doing. Perhaps you have feelings that you have something very serious with those lumps but simply don't care what it's doing to you. That's a form of self-harm that you should share with a GP, along with any other neglectful behaviors. Make that appointment to have the lumps checked out and clearly explain why you have let it become worse.

Natom

Hello Sam,

I hope you're well. I'm UK based and luckily I have a GP at my surgery that has a special interest in mental health and addiction. I went to the doctors a few years ago and was very clearly depressed. I was given anti-anxiety meds and that was it (not by the GP mentioned above) I never bothered getting the repeat.

About a year later I got referred by the doctor to a local counselling service. I had either 6 or 8 one hour sessions and then that was it. That was the extent of the help. I found a local charity that does counselling sessions for donations and started going there but I tailed off and stopped going.

Over the last six months I've had a bit of a breakdown and the doctors finally prescribed me anti-depressants (the doctor mentioned at the beginning of this post) But, I had to sort out my own counselling and I registered with the same counselling service I did several years ago. The doctor basically said that him referring me to anything would be less helpful than me doing it myself, although he can refer me to the local drug services.

I've basically learnt that the only help I can get from my doctor is a regular prescription. After that I'm on my own. We need to seek the help out and if you look hard enough you'll find it somewhere.

Natom

Sam31p

Thank you all for the comments.

It's very much a cycle of things.... Like... There is legitimately always something which prevents progress in other areas.

I have been given meds before but meds in my possession is a huge trigger for me to overdose myself. From 2016-2018 I was on them and in that time deliberately overdosed approx 15 times, several times required hospital treatment. There is nobody to look after or hide meds from me. The only option to go back on them involves me getting weekly prescriptions and collecting from the pharmacy. Of which, they have to literally open a full pack and cut 7 tablets off the strip. Staff there normally question why i'm collecting so few and it gets embarrassing. With MH, I even struggle to get there once a week every week.

Bereavement therapy - nearest place 2 hours away.

A new thing the NHS are trying to do... "social prescribing". Excellent, it would really benefit me..... oh..... not available in my area at all.

Ok, well better to move to another area where it is available? Catch 22.... In order to move area I have so much to do that I can't get on with due to MH.... Getting gas expert in to take out cooker and cap gas up. Clearing and cleaning the property. Travelling and viewing new home, getting a house move van driver booked, changing my address for bills and disability benefits (which could trigger another assessment because of it being a change of circumstances).


Support worker services - Awesome. It would really benefit me.... I don't qualify for funding as I don't meet the criteria (which is mostly physical disabilities). So would have to fund it myself, costing upwards of £20 per hour, I simply can't afford it.


I was told CBT would help me.... They refused to give me other help.... 2 years in total of misery including waiting lists and doing CBT and it didn't work.



That's why alcohol is a thing.... the easiest way to explain it....


Imagine over 20 years of hell. Symptoms that involve being unable to make eye contact, shaking and unable to think of what to say. The years of people laughing at me, making fun of symptoms and even saying I look like I'm on drugs. The failed education, failed chances at friendships and relationships, all down to symptoms.

After those 20 years, I drank what would have been more than 1 drink a year and that alcohol as it's known to, reduces those symptoms temporarily to a point where I had got into relationships, even managed to make a few acquaintances.

I had caring duties for ill family mostly, so lost acquaintances. Family died and I'm much worse off because at least I had them for support before.


Well a support network became essential, with no NHS help. After all those years of symptoms, it was like I'd reached boiling point and when experiencing them, I'd come home and harm myself.

I can sit at home for days, if not weeks on end and not drink. But staying in does nothing to improve my life.

I go out and with no support network and symptoms I do then harm myself. When I feel myself getting upset and low about symptoms when in public, I numb them with drink.


So that's where it is really. Drink takes its toll on me these days and I need to quit, but then what?

Go back to being out in public and have people make fun of my symptoms, some people ask if I've been on drugs, which makes me even lower so I harm myself and end up in hospital.

I saw the exact same thing with one of the family members. He probably only ever had 2 responsible alcoholic drinks a year (so no problem). He never managed to make friends because of symptoms, was always very nervous, had people laugh and make fun of him, never had a relationship or kids and died in his early 40's.

At least he had the support of his relatives like me and my mum. I don't even have him or mum for support as they are dead.

I don't want to end up going the same way as he went. With no life made for himself due to anxiety and MH symptoms that I also have.

hopeful4

When I was having anxiety attacks it took another person coming into the room with me and saying we are here for this and we really need some help with this today. That got the ball rolling. I am in the US so I know it's different, but still the same too.

I can only say that it was a relief for me, and they did not treat me any differently and helped me immensely.

Keep pushing forward, you deserve total body health, mental and physical.

Sam31p

Yeah I think that tends to work in 2 ways... So not only can that person speak up on your behalf but a GP is likely to be less awful in their wording when another person is present (A GP wouldn't say someone is attention seeking if another person was there to witness it).

I'm trying to find an advocate to help me with it.


The UK system is a real mess. Drinking and on a slippery slope "isn't bad enough" to be given help. Then years later someone can develop total addiction and liver damage, then they help with it.

I was told by an Occupational therapist that I would completely benefit from their services, but needed a referral from a mental health team. I then saw a mental health team who played my health stuff down and didn't refer me.

I did pay for an OT service out of my own money, which worked well with me, until it had to end as I couldn't afford it anymore. Even with that proof the NHS won't budge.


A lot of people in the UK are suffering with NHS dealings.


What happens so much is MH patient see's a MH team or CMHT. Unless they are bedridden with depression or psychotic, the teams will play it all down and give limited/no help.

Yet these teams will often write a false report, not accurately reflecting the appointment. So "He appeared capable, competent and we have offered him the most suitable help". Rather than the true appointment... "He was shaking, depressed, looked unwell and we just played his symptoms down and told him to "man up" ".

Then when someone complains to the PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) department, the complaint is dismissed as it becomes the patients word against the professional's word.


It's regular news here where someone with mental health problems has been dismissed, not listened to and sent away, then they have taken their own lives. The local mental health trust has been in trouble many times.

I guess that's part of the reason I drink. I know what will help me, yet I don't get that help so think what's the point?


The craziest part is even the government know I'm unfit to work and need that help. I'm declared (after assessment) as completely unfit to work, receiving the highest rate of disability benefits until at least next year. The benefit assessment team were shocked I'm not having the right help from the NHS as they said I clearly needed it as well as a support worker

Auburnazd

This may seem silly but I try journaling my thoughts between the periods of seeing my psychologist. That way I know the biggest issues I need to address. You have to stick with a psychologist but you don’t have to stick with the same one. You can always try someone new. It took me quite a few tries before I found the person that listened, cared, and has told me when my feelings are justified and when I am beating myself up for no reason. And always remember you have us to talk to. Don’t ever give up. Depression is a bitch but there are many ways to attack it, it’s just a matter of doing it...which understandably can be the hardest part.