Lacey's new theead
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Join Date: Apr 2017
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Just because I have a job doesn't mean I'm making great money.
The county I live in doesn't have resources. We literally had to tell someone they had no options last night. It was 30 degrees when I left work. That person had no shelter. It's hard. I'm in a better position than she was. Many people live in conditions equal to, or worse than mine. They can't afford to help everyone. It's life. I've worked there for thirteen years. I know what it's like.
I can tolerate it. It's just hard to go back when I've been living like a "regular" person for a few months.
The check is what it is. That's how long it takes.
The county I live in doesn't have resources. We literally had to tell someone they had no options last night. It was 30 degrees when I left work. That person had no shelter. It's hard. I'm in a better position than she was. Many people live in conditions equal to, or worse than mine. They can't afford to help everyone. It's life. I've worked there for thirteen years. I know what it's like.
I can tolerate it. It's just hard to go back when I've been living like a "regular" person for a few months.
The check is what it is. That's how long it takes.
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I might try Habitat once I'm established, but I need to front the money for the materials. The thing I have working against me is, if they ask for my tax return from 2018 I made decent money on my last job. I had a massive addictive behavior, so I don't HAVE any of that money, but I did make it. Plus, I'm pretty sure RUS and similar programs want you to have at least decent credit and well...lol...
Anyway. I am dealing with the check next week. I am just trying to get back on my feet after a pretty terrible relapse with the eating disorder. Today was a good day. I work tonight, so that will be fine, ED wise.
Car's been running decent, knock on wood. Dry weather helps.
Anyway. I am dealing with the check next week. I am just trying to get back on my feet after a pretty terrible relapse with the eating disorder. Today was a good day. I work tonight, so that will be fine, ED wise.
Car's been running decent, knock on wood. Dry weather helps.
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I'm really happy overal with the new job (despite the low pay) and I'm thrilled to be back in my county (even though I'm not officially living there yet). The whole relaxed pace of everything is just what I need to finally do the real healing from my eating disorder and the chaos of the last 4.5 years. I love not working at 7:30am! I'm not a morning person AT ALL.
The sense of dread I would feel about going to that place would just cause me such anxiety. Then I would just engage in behaviors and be disgusted with myself and not show up at all, or just screw around all day (again, engaging in behaviors- and yes, at work). It was SO out of control. The thrill of knowing I never have to
Live that way again- that I never have to wake up and force mysef to go back there- has yet to wear off. And I get to stay here! Bonus.
The sense of dread I would feel about going to that place would just cause me such anxiety. Then I would just engage in behaviors and be disgusted with myself and not show up at all, or just screw around all day (again, engaging in behaviors- and yes, at work). It was SO out of control. The thrill of knowing I never have to
Live that way again- that I never have to wake up and force mysef to go back there- has yet to wear off. And I get to stay here! Bonus.
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I'm so mad I could cry.
i might be going down, but I'm swinging every MFing step of theMFing way. I swear to god, I'm not giving up and I don't care how hard it gets.
Current situation: now I have no car and have to walk 17 miles each way to get to and from work, starting tonight. For four days in a row. And I have to sleep in my house that has no heat and no running water. But I will not, I will NOT lose this job. If I have to die out there in the side of the road, I will fight with everything I have until I don't have breath i my body. I'm not going out likes b****. Never have in 39 years, and I'm certainly not now. Bring it the F on.
i might be going down, but I'm swinging every MFing step of theMFing way. I swear to god, I'm not giving up and I don't care how hard it gets.
Current situation: now I have no car and have to walk 17 miles each way to get to and from work, starting tonight. For four days in a row. And I have to sleep in my house that has no heat and no running water. But I will not, I will NOT lose this job. If I have to die out there in the side of the road, I will fight with everything I have until I don't have breath i my body. I'm not going out likes b****. Never have in 39 years, and I'm certainly not now. Bring it the F on.
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I'm sorry you're having an extremely rough time Lacey, but I hear your determination, I know you're going to pull through this. My experience is that I usually come out much better on the other side of difficulties. You've got this!
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I got a Lyft to the town my job is in. I'm in a motel here for the next two days. I work Tuesday, not sure what's going to happen then. At least today, tomorrow and Monday I can walk to work- it's like 3 minutes.
oh, and there's a snake living in my house...
oh, and there's a snake living in my house...
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They're not working on my car until Monday. No one in my family is being supportive of me.
Im just waiting it out at this point, and once I have my car I am putting in my two week notice and just putting whatever I can pack in the car and leaving the state with my 1/31 pay. If I wait until the 15th, I should be okay. I will have two pays by then, and work will have its notice. I am DONE.
Im just waiting it out at this point, and once I have my car I am putting in my two week notice and just putting whatever I can pack in the car and leaving the state with my 1/31 pay. If I wait until the 15th, I should be okay. I will have two pays by then, and work will have its notice. I am DONE.
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This "motel" has bed bugs, and I'm frantically trying to not bring them to my work, or home with me when I go home. It's loud 24/7 and last night I thought I was going to get abducted walking here (turns out it wasn't a dangerous situation- long story short- they were looking for another woman who left a bar after a fight on foot. But it was terrifying when they stopped, then turned around, came back and stopped again...and didn't specify this until I started running and screaming. It's true- I actually saw the woman Leave the bar, and she was wearing a coat like mine and about my size...but it makes me realize you're really SOL if someone wants to abduct you out here at 12AM.)
I have no permanent plan for how I'm getting out of here and back to the city where my car is. I'm working on that.
I feel like this has just imploded my relationship with my family. Everyone is mad at me, instead of being mad at the people at the garage, and we end up constantly fighting. I'm not sure where this leaves us once this is all said and done.
I often feel like, no one cares if I'm here, so why not go somewhere else? The state I'm planning to move to, should I move, is in the top 5 for availability of public transportation in the country. Plus, if you have to take a Lyft, it won't be so far, so it won't be 30-50 each time (IF you can even find a driver!). I just can't count on anyone to really help me. I feel like it doesn't mean anything that I'm fighting so hard to keep my job. It's just whatever to them. And I'm really proud of myself for doing all of this. If my dad was here, he'd be proud of me. I get my work ethic from him.
I have no permanent plan for how I'm getting out of here and back to the city where my car is. I'm working on that.
I feel like this has just imploded my relationship with my family. Everyone is mad at me, instead of being mad at the people at the garage, and we end up constantly fighting. I'm not sure where this leaves us once this is all said and done.
I often feel like, no one cares if I'm here, so why not go somewhere else? The state I'm planning to move to, should I move, is in the top 5 for availability of public transportation in the country. Plus, if you have to take a Lyft, it won't be so far, so it won't be 30-50 each time (IF you can even find a driver!). I just can't count on anyone to really help me. I feel like it doesn't mean anything that I'm fighting so hard to keep my job. It's just whatever to them. And I'm really proud of myself for doing all of this. If my dad was here, he'd be proud of me. I get my work ethic from him.
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My late father had a strong work ethic too, he did whatever it took to care for and feed our family. I carry that with me today, I work three jobs to keep income coming in and my wife and I have a good life. I know it's a struggle for you Lacey, but I'm proud of you too for hanging in there.
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Still in the motel, still no car. They said tomorrow, but who knows st this point. I'm going to look at a house for sale that's like 1/8 mile from my work. I sign the paperwork tomorrow for my retirement, and I should have enough money when I get my refund in 6 weeks to buy it with cash. Unlike my current t house, there's not s million things wrong with it. Hell, it probably doesn't come with its own snake!
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The car was supposed to be done Wednesday. Still not done until maybe Friday.
My relationship with my family is over st this point. When I get my 401k check, I will give my mother back the money and then that probably the last time I will talk to her.
I'm going back to the motel tomorrow. My friend is taking my to the city to sign my 401k paperwork and take care of my animals and pack. Then I'm checking into the hospital. I figure I should be out by Monday of next week. My car should be done by then. The hospitalization will get me out of the lease I have. I can get animal control to get my animals in my own house that have limited heat because of the polar vortex they absolutely cannot be there and I have no other resources to get them out. I will probably lose all of them, sadly, but it's probably for the best right now. I can get back on all 3 of my medications and have the ability to eat 3 reasonably balanced meals each day to get back on track with my eating disorder recovery. Right now I eat what and where I can, based on money and the fact that I'm living in a motel.
when I come out, everything is going to be different. I'm cutting off communication with my family for real this time. I'm possibly going to put in an offer on the house I saw today. (It's adorable and the agent seems to think she can use a statement from the 401k people to put in an offer). I will only miss one day of work, but it's two of us working anyway, so my boss won't have to relplace me. It all works out perfectly. They can probably help me get on medical assistance so I can get my medications paid for again and get all 3 again. And I can go to therapy and stuff. My insurance will kick in in April, but I need my medications.
My relationship with my family is over st this point. When I get my 401k check, I will give my mother back the money and then that probably the last time I will talk to her.
I'm going back to the motel tomorrow. My friend is taking my to the city to sign my 401k paperwork and take care of my animals and pack. Then I'm checking into the hospital. I figure I should be out by Monday of next week. My car should be done by then. The hospitalization will get me out of the lease I have. I can get animal control to get my animals in my own house that have limited heat because of the polar vortex they absolutely cannot be there and I have no other resources to get them out. I will probably lose all of them, sadly, but it's probably for the best right now. I can get back on all 3 of my medications and have the ability to eat 3 reasonably balanced meals each day to get back on track with my eating disorder recovery. Right now I eat what and where I can, based on money and the fact that I'm living in a motel.
when I come out, everything is going to be different. I'm cutting off communication with my family for real this time. I'm possibly going to put in an offer on the house I saw today. (It's adorable and the agent seems to think she can use a statement from the 401k people to put in an offer). I will only miss one day of work, but it's two of us working anyway, so my boss won't have to relplace me. It all works out perfectly. They can probably help me get on medical assistance so I can get my medications paid for again and get all 3 again. And I can go to therapy and stuff. My insurance will kick in in April, but I need my medications.
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I'm waiting on my friend to pick me up from the motel. Just have to pack and take care of my animals when I get home. My appointment is at 2, then the hospital. Of course I'm dreading this, but idk what else to do.
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I missed the appointment because I need my military paperwork, which is in my car. Which I still don't have.
i called the regional manager, but he won't call me back.
This effectivey has had ended the relationship I have with my mother, exposed me to bedbugs and kidnapping, and threatened my job and exhausted my resources. I literally have $10 and some change right now. No "real" food.
All of my cats are taken care of, so that's done. I would just have to pack and call 911 or mobile crisis. There is no way I'm taking a bus in this weather.
Part of me doesnt want to do it do it but I really feel like ****.
i called the regional manager, but he won't call me back.
This effectivey has had ended the relationship I have with my mother, exposed me to bedbugs and kidnapping, and threatened my job and exhausted my resources. I literally have $10 and some change right now. No "real" food.
All of my cats are taken care of, so that's done. I would just have to pack and call 911 or mobile crisis. There is no way I'm taking a bus in this weather.
Part of me doesnt want to do it do it but I really feel like ****.
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Thank you. According to my family I'm "not trying hard enough." ??????
i have to miss work AGAIN today. I have to get the stuff out of the house I'm staying in because I don't have his rent for February because of all of this. And I have to go back to my house with no heat and deal with it until I get them to come out and turn it on.
i have to miss work AGAIN today. I have to get the stuff out of the house I'm staying in because I don't have his rent for February because of all of this. And I have to go back to my house with no heat and deal with it until I get them to come out and turn it on.
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Tomorrow is the day of recogning for the car. Fixed or not, it's coming out of there tomorrow. No one has any more money, so it's going to have to sit in the yard at my house. I'm going to give my job notice, and when the check comes, I'm leaving. No point in staying here if I have to live in a motel. (that should really be condemned).
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