Lacey's new theead
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
There will always be challenges, but you are overcoming them left and right. Don't let one thing turn it all into a catastrophe!
Keep moving forward and keep doing the next right thing and it will continue to pay off.
Keep moving forward and keep doing the next right thing and it will continue to pay off.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 334
That landlord is probably going to keep my money. I guess I can try to find a lawyer for free but idk how that works. He won't even answer my texts at this point.
Part of me wants to just quit my job and go be a bartender at this one club that's hiring. It would be the same amount of money in two days that I'm making in five, and I could pick up some hours somewhere else two days a week and start to save money again. I just don't think the whole professional thing is going to work out for me at this point. I want it to, but I don't think the world cares about what I want anymore.
Part of me wants to just quit my job and go be a bartender at this one club that's hiring. It would be the same amount of money in two days that I'm making in five, and I could pick up some hours somewhere else two days a week and start to save money again. I just don't think the whole professional thing is going to work out for me at this point. I want it to, but I don't think the world cares about what I want anymore.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
The tending bar option is probably always going to be available to you to fall back upon, but does it offer you the richness of experience that pursuing the professional route does or not? If you want to do the professional thing(s), you will have to stick out some of the uncertainty and garbage that comes with it, if you can let those things slide off of you and build up the current experience on your resume. Money is obviously important now, too, so I understand how it would be difficult to choose.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 334
Part of me doesn't even care anymore. The only reason this place even hired me is because it's an absolute joke that's one step from the state shutting it down. No one else is going to hire me. There is no professional path for someone like me. I'm benchwarming, just watching people sleep and lying to myself that some great career is just around the corner. Fact is, I gave it all up. I'm not getting it back. I'm not qualified to do any of these jobs. I should have never even came here.
Why not just quit now and at least take the good bartending job if I have a shot at it? Why continue to live this lie?
Why not just quit now and at least take the good bartending job if I have a shot at it? Why continue to live this lie?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 334
Coming here was a huge mistake. I've wasted so much money and I don't really have a shot at any of these jobs. I thought he would help me. There. I said it. And he won't, so the best thing for me to do is probably take the best earning bartending jobs I can get, build my savings up again, ride out this lease and go home at the end of the year. I don't know what I'm going to do. All I know is I'm tired of trying to figure it out. I'm tired of rejection, I'm tired of feeing not good enough, like nothing I've accomplished matters, like in just bleeding money that is going to run out, that I care more about the people I'm trying to help than I do about myself. Once I go home, I can figure it out again. I can just relax and be with my friends and put all this behind me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I'm not trying to direct you either way, Lacey. It's your decision on what you think is the best for you, and that's ultimately what you should follow. I had to make a difficult choice to change my career path to something that was far more manageable for me to do now, to keep my sanity. Today my boss told me ahead of performance appraisal that is coming up, "I was going to ask you what the hell are you still doing here?", and I smiled. I thought to myself, I'm just trying to do what's good for me. That's all we can do.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 334
I think you're missing the point. I don't know, outside of this "job", if I have the option of s professional career anymore. I'm starting to think that ship has sailed. I think I'm sitting here, watching people sleep, lying to myself that this is all going to lead to some big bright future when in reality, I can see the writing on the wall.
None of these places are going to hire me. My degree is worthless- let's keep it real here. It's worthless. My experience counts for nothing. I have no experience doing what they want. I'm not bilingual. I don't have a social services degree. I don't have a masters. I don't have certifications. And, keep in mind, all of this (sometimes more) is to get paid a crummy few dollars an hour more than I'm making now. As a bartender, I can make twice that. Making that money back is important now, especially if I have to get a different car.
Im not going to go back to school, spend $40-50k in loans and then be like those people on the news: I can't afford to live! I'm a social worker with 80k of student debt! That's just ridiculous. Maybe if I was going to be a physicians assistant or accountant or something that made significantly more money, but not for this crap.
So, I really don't know what else to do except just take a break from all this nonsense. I'm so tired of spending the limited time I'm awake and not riding around on trains applying for jobs that I have zero shot at even interviewing for.
Im going to see what she has to say tonight at this staff meeting and tomorrow (or maybe later tonight), I'm going to see that bar guy about getting hired. This is a dead end job and it's ruining my quality of life because I'm so damned tired all the time.
Its pushing it to take the car to the bar, but I'm willing to risk it. It does run.
I put the people in my field area above myself on my last job- to the detriment of myself. I won't do it again. Yes, I want to do something that matters, but if my own life is crap and I'm not taking care of myself, who cares?
None of these places are going to hire me. My degree is worthless- let's keep it real here. It's worthless. My experience counts for nothing. I have no experience doing what they want. I'm not bilingual. I don't have a social services degree. I don't have a masters. I don't have certifications. And, keep in mind, all of this (sometimes more) is to get paid a crummy few dollars an hour more than I'm making now. As a bartender, I can make twice that. Making that money back is important now, especially if I have to get a different car.
Im not going to go back to school, spend $40-50k in loans and then be like those people on the news: I can't afford to live! I'm a social worker with 80k of student debt! That's just ridiculous. Maybe if I was going to be a physicians assistant or accountant or something that made significantly more money, but not for this crap.
So, I really don't know what else to do except just take a break from all this nonsense. I'm so tired of spending the limited time I'm awake and not riding around on trains applying for jobs that I have zero shot at even interviewing for.
Im going to see what she has to say tonight at this staff meeting and tomorrow (or maybe later tonight), I'm going to see that bar guy about getting hired. This is a dead end job and it's ruining my quality of life because I'm so damned tired all the time.
Its pushing it to take the car to the bar, but I'm willing to risk it. It does run.
I put the people in my field area above myself on my last job- to the detriment of myself. I won't do it again. Yes, I want to do something that matters, but if my own life is crap and I'm not taking care of myself, who cares?
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Lacey, I am just going to make a couple of observations I see based on what I take from your posts. I relate to this because I think I do these things as well to an extent.
It seems like if you have a couple of bad days you decide you should pack up, move, and make these major life changes. If the job is bad, keep it until you have found another one you will actually like that won't make you miserable. You deserve that. However, didn't they just say they would be hiring another director and you were going to give that a chance and see if it were to get any better?
About moving. You were in a much worse off place before now. You were, just a few days ago, happy to be moved in and relieved to be in a nice neighborhood where things are calm and safer. Don't forget that. Give this some time. See if you can create stability and a life for yourself instead of constant moving around.
Lastly, do this for you. You keep relying on this man who you think is going to step in and take over for you. I have two daughters. I tell them all the time, be able to support yourself and rely on yourself. If ultimately you have a caring man in your life that is great, but you have to be able to take care of yourself. This man is not good for you, and I think a lot of your frustrations rotate around him.
Don't make any decisions in your life until you have taken some time, have had good sleep, are relaxed, and not in a rush. Decisions made under circumstances of stress are normally not good ones. Maybe eventually moving is the right thing. If so, take the time to decide that and in the mean time make the most of your time where you are.
This is just my two cents of course. I have faith that you can make your life a happy one, you just have to make real choices based on what is good for you.
Sending a big hug. You can do this.
It seems like if you have a couple of bad days you decide you should pack up, move, and make these major life changes. If the job is bad, keep it until you have found another one you will actually like that won't make you miserable. You deserve that. However, didn't they just say they would be hiring another director and you were going to give that a chance and see if it were to get any better?
About moving. You were in a much worse off place before now. You were, just a few days ago, happy to be moved in and relieved to be in a nice neighborhood where things are calm and safer. Don't forget that. Give this some time. See if you can create stability and a life for yourself instead of constant moving around.
Lastly, do this for you. You keep relying on this man who you think is going to step in and take over for you. I have two daughters. I tell them all the time, be able to support yourself and rely on yourself. If ultimately you have a caring man in your life that is great, but you have to be able to take care of yourself. This man is not good for you, and I think a lot of your frustrations rotate around him.
Don't make any decisions in your life until you have taken some time, have had good sleep, are relaxed, and not in a rush. Decisions made under circumstances of stress are normally not good ones. Maybe eventually moving is the right thing. If so, take the time to decide that and in the mean time make the most of your time where you are.
This is just my two cents of course. I have faith that you can make your life a happy one, you just have to make real choices based on what is good for you.
Sending a big hug. You can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 334
Ok, so in then midst of all of my misery yesterday, I had to go to a staff meeting. Afterwards, before going to see about the bartending job, I decided to at least ask about a different shift...
and it worked! She is going to move me in a few weeks and then I will be able to start ACTUAL training for the counseling certification. So, I'm staying there- although, after the shift move is finalized and I know what hours I will be working, drive times, etc, I will have to pick up a second job and start building up my savings again.
The main reason I haven't left this job is because I like this particular woman and believe she can take things in the right direction, so I am willing to give it a chance.
So that's settled. For now.
losing that money was a big hit. I'm not saying it's gone forever, but it might be. I just felt like I came out here for nothing. At least if I get experience and my certification, if I lost the money- I got something out of moving here, ultimately. It wasn't a total waste.
With him, it is so complicated. Since I really came out here for him, my first instinct is always going to be- if I'm mad at him- I will just go back home. But I wouldn't do that to this landlord. And I really do like it here (this apartment/neighborhood). Wanting to leave the job is a knee jerk reaction to losing so much money, honestly. And my car is still not running, threatening to take out what savings I have left. My gut reaction is it's the engine. It's my first instinct to just go make that money back ASAP. Bartending is where the money is at, even though it's not my first choice.
The only thing i can I can do is just get the car fixed once and for all and then build the savings back up once I can get a second job.
and it worked! She is going to move me in a few weeks and then I will be able to start ACTUAL training for the counseling certification. So, I'm staying there- although, after the shift move is finalized and I know what hours I will be working, drive times, etc, I will have to pick up a second job and start building up my savings again.
The main reason I haven't left this job is because I like this particular woman and believe she can take things in the right direction, so I am willing to give it a chance.
So that's settled. For now.
losing that money was a big hit. I'm not saying it's gone forever, but it might be. I just felt like I came out here for nothing. At least if I get experience and my certification, if I lost the money- I got something out of moving here, ultimately. It wasn't a total waste.
With him, it is so complicated. Since I really came out here for him, my first instinct is always going to be- if I'm mad at him- I will just go back home. But I wouldn't do that to this landlord. And I really do like it here (this apartment/neighborhood). Wanting to leave the job is a knee jerk reaction to losing so much money, honestly. And my car is still not running, threatening to take out what savings I have left. My gut reaction is it's the engine. It's my first instinct to just go make that money back ASAP. Bartending is where the money is at, even though it's not my first choice.
The only thing i can I can do is just get the car fixed once and for all and then build the savings back up once I can get a second job.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 534
That's good news....that you got a better shift, right?
I'd scratch "him" off of ANYTHING to do with your future. And I'm glad you've realized he's not going to ever help you and it sounds like you are doing quite well without him.
You are moving on, despite many obstacles.
I'd scratch "him" off of ANYTHING to do with your future. And I'm glad you've realized he's not going to ever help you and it sounds like you are doing quite well without him.
You are moving on, despite many obstacles.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
This! Yes, well done!
Originally Posted by Zevin 
That's good news....that you got a better shift, right?
I'd scratch "him" off of ANYTHING to do with your future. And I'm glad you've realized he's not going to ever help you and it sounds like you are doing quite well without him.
You are moving on, despite many obstacles.
I'd scratch "him" off of ANYTHING to do with your future. And I'm glad you've realized he's not going to ever help you and it sounds like you are doing quite well without him.
You are moving on, despite many obstacles.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 334
So apparently work has been telling selected people that we are all getting laid off when the final two patients leave this week. The state has not authorized us to start admitting new patients, so there is not going to be any reason for us to come to work.
No offense, but when I talked about leaving my job recently on here, I feel like I was accused of "addict running" behavior, but really- this is what I was afraid of. I mean- once you run out of patients, you don't really have a purpose to come to work. I knew it was only a matter of time. It could close completely. I have no idea- no one is talking to me, or my friends.
I have no idea what to do. I can't get another car now, because I will need my (limited) savings to live on.
No offense, but when I talked about leaving my job recently on here, I feel like I was accused of "addict running" behavior, but really- this is what I was afraid of. I mean- once you run out of patients, you don't really have a purpose to come to work. I knew it was only a matter of time. It could close completely. I have no idea- no one is talking to me, or my friends.
I have no idea what to do. I can't get another car now, because I will need my (limited) savings to live on.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,047
All setbacks are temporary, and I'm still never guaranteed a life in recovery that's free from challenges and hardship. Quite the opposite in fact, I feel like I've been prepared for the hurdles I have to overcome.
You've been able to use public transportation so far, correct? So will not having a car prevent you from functioning in life, or is it a situation you can adapt to and work around?
You've done so well so far, I think you've got this!
You've been able to use public transportation so far, correct? So will not having a car prevent you from functioning in life, or is it a situation you can adapt to and work around?
You've done so well so far, I think you've got this!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
That's terrible! Lacey, in no way can anyone on a forum or not on a forum for that matter, tell you what to do. I simply heard you say that a new person was coming on an maybe that person would be able to work some things out and make it a better place to be. If that's not the case, of course you should move on.
I wish for you to have stability and happiness. I would encourage you to speak to whomever is in charge, and if indeed things are not going well, to move on.
Sending you a big hug. I am so sorry if I have ever done anything except encourage you.
I wish for you to have stability and happiness. I would encourage you to speak to whomever is in charge, and if indeed things are not going well, to move on.
Sending you a big hug. I am so sorry if I have ever done anything except encourage you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 334
It's not you. I had no idea it would ever get THIS bad. I would leave, but it's not that easy. I do apply for other jobs, but no one ever gets back to me. I can't even get a serving job to call me back right now. It's pretty bad.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
