That's cool. She is so in love with the windows. The stupid movers cancelled TWICE today! If they don't show up tomorrow I'm just hiring someone else. I got a lot of stuff out today. Me and the cat are already at the other place on an air mattress so we are okay. I get to bring one other cat from home. She will be unhappy to no longer be the queen...but she doesn't ACTUALLY run the household. (Just don't tell her this).

MY STUFF IS STILL THERR. Three cancelled movers later.

This is causing me a ridiculous amount of anxiety, because I get anxious and stressed out every time I have to go over there. And I've been over there sitting around waiting (because it's not like they call to cancel) and then nothing. I can't take much more of this. It literally ruins every single day.

Not to mention, one day while driving over to supposedly meet movers, I straight up thought I was going to witness a shooting. Like people running down the street with guns pointed. I just so desperately want to never have to go back there again. It is NOT Safe!!!!!

I also have anxiety about telling the landlord and hoping he gives me my money back, which I can't do until my stuff if out...which never happens.

Im just having a hard time...my military friend died and it just brings up my survivor guilt for not having gone to Iraq. It's weird. Sometimes I think I should have gone and then just died because they all have families and nice lives.

It was also just my anniversary and instead of having 16 years, I have 101 days.

I'm over here again waiting to get my stuff moved.

please let this be the last time.

My stuff is here!!!!!!!!

I have to work (of course) but it's been a great day of just putting stuff away and exploring my new, non-scary neighborhood. This neighborhood was actually my first choice when I was moving here. The park here is really nice.

Im looking into part time server jobs- like two days a week.

My friend from work, who left, came in to get his last paycheck. He went to a new rehab that's opening up the street, owned by a national company that has benefits and seems to have it "together." He encouraged me to apply, so I did. They want people with experience, but they mentioned 12 Step experience, so I put down that I have 16 years in recovery without AA. My friend that was hired is in the program, whereas other people who work here who applied are not. Maybe I have a chance? Who knows? It's 11-7 OF COURSE. But benefits would be nice! The pay is basically the same. The commute distance is the same. We will see what happens.

I started taking the train to work. It's my first time. It's so nice to know that it's Monday morning, traffic will be terrible, and I won't be in it!

Ok, I'm starting to get worried about my job again. They're STILL not admitting patients- we have like 10 and the total we should have is 38. How long can you run a business like that? There's a mandatory meeting next week. I really hope they aren't going to tell us they're closing the place. This isn't really moving in a good direction.

I am trying to find another job but everyone wants you to have experience.

i will do what I have to to stay here. This week has left me completely devoid of any desire to return to my home state. Based on the horrible interactions I've had with people there...there's nothing left in that place for me. Let them all self destruct.

I think, regardless of what happens on Tuesday, it might just be time to leave.

So, there's something wrong with my car and I'm taking the train to work. Well- I get to the train station and the train is cancelled? So I go to tell someone at work and it's just chaos. It's so poorly managed that you don't even know who you're supposed to report to if you are going to be late. Seriously.

This job- the last apartment- I'm so sick of settling for bottom of the barrel things because of my damned record. Otherwise I wouldn't even be there. And I still have to try to get my money back from that apartment fiasco.