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07-24-2018, 04:56 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 211
| Losing hope
I'm really at that point right now.
I feel like the problems in my life have no answers. I don't want to die- I really, truly do not. But I don't see a way out sometimes. I genuinely believe if I stay here, in this exact situation, I am going to die. But every time I try to change my situation, I just hit dead ends. I'm not a hopeless person and it's very rare for me to give up, so when I say it's bad- it's really bad. Even when I went to therapy, outpatient treatment and meetings and explained my situation, people all said the same thing: I really don't know what to tel you.
I'm at the point where I'm willing to do anything, because I feel like I'm fighting for my life. And then there are times where I'm so tired of fighting and I just want to give up and just quit everything.
There has to be an answer. God didn't put me on the earth for this to be my life.
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07-24-2018, 05:15 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: eastern USA
Posts: 74,633
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I have no answers either, I can see you feel hopeless.  I hope you find some peace of mind.
__________________
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.
Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.
Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus
Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
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07-24-2018, 05:21 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 891
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I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling Lacey. I can relate. Sending you lots of strength and hope. Just keep going and try to take care of yourself. There's a reason for us to be here. I believe that too. And it will get better.
__________________
20/10/2016
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07-25-2018, 12:28 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| Member
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: corn country, USA
Posts: 913
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I’m sorry you’re feeling down. I hope things will get better for you over time. You sound like a strong and determined person.
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07-25-2018, 03:17 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| It means 'star', as in the sky
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 9,909
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Good morning, Lacey,
How are you feeling today? I know when I have found myself feeling utterly hopeless about something, it has helped me break the problem down into very small parts.
What do you think is one thing you can do differently today that will be a small step in a positive direction?
__________________ The ordinary acts we practice every day at home
are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest.
~ St. Thomas More |
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07-25-2018, 04:17 AM
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#6 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 211
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I'm here. I'm doing an easy day at work today- not going into the office (aka "the source of all my problems").
I'm applying for jobs everyday- that never changes.
I'm contemplating moving out of state right now. Not in a "geographical escape" kind of way but in a "nothing is ever going to transpire if I stay here so I'm going to wind up dead" kind of way. It's extremely early in the decision making process, but if something big doesn't happen soon, it's probably. my best option. Which isn't to say it's a good option.
I sent a message to my sort of friend in this state to try to help me get this job I applied for...he hasn't seen the message yet, and it's driving me nuts. Idk if he can help, or if they will even care if he tries to intervene on my behalf. It's just another thing I'm trying right now. Why not?
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07-25-2018, 04:22 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 211
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OMG I JUST CHECKED AND HE SAW THE MESSAGE!!!!!!! I feel so much better now. Hopefully he will at least try to help me out here...
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07-25-2018, 06:30 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 17,716
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When I'm feeling low and my hope is equally down, I've found that the company of others lifts me up and I gain hope from listening to their joy and successes. Lean on others during these times!
__________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!" |
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07-29-2018, 01:24 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 211
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I can't really Depend on the people in my life. They're kind of selfish.
I'm just trying to stay out of the hospital so if someone could talk to me, that would be great.
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07-29-2018, 04:00 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| It means 'star', as in the sky
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 9,909
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Hi Lacey! Please stick around and talk to us!!
What's going on?
__________________ The ordinary acts we practice every day at home
are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest.
~ St. Thomas More |
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07-30-2018, 05:06 AM
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#11 (permalink)
| Member
Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: USA
Posts: 1,614
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LaceyDallas:  Would you consider trying other therapies? If you're interested, this is a good read: https://www.nami.org/learn-more/treatment
I think Seren makes a great point, " I know when I have found myself feeling utterly hopeless about something, it has helped me break the problem down into very small parts. "
Personally, it took some time for me to find what worked to shed some anxiety causing patterns and back away from "toxic situations" (and people).
I am more peaceful and resolved to try and stay well now, I keep working on it.
Do you keep a crisis hotline number handy?
Crossing fingers that you feel better each day, find peace, comfort and hope.
__________________ Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise. Sigmund Freud |
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07-30-2018, 05:15 AM
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#12 (permalink)
| Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 211
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I think I'm just going today. Something is happening that is basically the last straw. I honestly see no reason to keep fighting based on this new information.
I have a therapy appointment at 9 with a new therapist. I dont know what to do.
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07-30-2018, 06:18 AM
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#13 (permalink)
| Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 17,716
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It's a good step to take Lacey, I hope that it's helpful to you. Please let us know how your appointment goes.
__________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!" |
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07-30-2018, 09:27 AM
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#14 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 211
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I slept through the appointments. Thinking about going to the hospital.
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07-30-2018, 10:31 AM
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#15 (permalink)
| Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,700
| Quote:
Originally Posted by LaceyDallas I slept through the appointments. Thinking about going to the hospital. | I would encourage you to do that. I have been hospitalized several times and it was always the choice of last resort. It was never something I wanted to do, it was something I needed to do. If you are thinking about it, it is probably something you need to do.
This board does not get a whole lot of traffic, but you can always PM people. Dee74 is a great person to talk to. He is usually online and will reply to you. Of course you can feel free to PM me as well. Sometimes it is just good to have someone to talk to. The hospital is probably the best choice, but if you can't do that at least reach out to someone here. I would recommend reaching out to several people here, as sometimes folks are away from their computer or there are time differences. Hang in there. My therapist always describes it like a wave. If you can just hang on, you WILL make it out the other side.    Dancing banana always cheers me up!!!
__________________
Peace and Love,
Tyler "I used to do a little but a little wouldn't do it so a little got more and more. I just keep tryin' to get a little better, said a little better than before." Mr. Brownstone G-n-R Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh |
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07-30-2018, 12:24 PM
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#16 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 211
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I'm at the hospital, ready to go inside. I hate the hospital but I don't know what else to do. Thanks for caring.
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07-30-2018, 12:28 PM
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#17 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 891
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I hope they can help you Lacey! Thinking of you!
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20/10/2016
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08-03-2018, 07:26 PM
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#18 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 211
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I'm home now. They changed a message, which helped a lot with my thinking. I feel more hopeful, even though having to change my whole life is still really scary.
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08-03-2018, 07:51 PM
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#19 (permalink)
| Moderator
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Australia
Posts: 171,281
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we're right there with you Lacey
D
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08-04-2018, 08:38 AM
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#20 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 211
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It was supposed to say changed a medication not message, but message works too!
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