JudicatorPanzer

Hello,

I am a 29 year old man.

I live with my Mom. She is sick and is getting sicker, I stay to help her out. But I feel embarrassed. I hate telling people I live with my mom. Out house is a complete disaster, it's border-line hoarder and I feel ****** every time I look around my (moms) house. I feel ashamed to have a girlfriend or even a friend over the place is such a mess, and I feel so overwhelmed when I even think about cleaning it.

I lost my insurance, totalled my mom's car, got so sick I almost had to go to the hospital, and have had ,y job hours cut back by half all in the past 3 weeks.

Oh well.

least

I will keep you in my prayers that things improve for you.

MindfulMan

Are you sober?

Have you sought and complied with treatment for depression?

Can you break down the housecleaning into smaller, manageable steps?

PhoenixJ

JP- you cannot control others. What you can do- is work on you. If your mum's home is too much- perhaps think (if possible) of moving out- and getting help for her cope at home. Stop drinking is a biggie if you are still doing it. Meetings are free, and you can sit at the back and not share- just listen. Perhaps an outpatient recovery program? Posting here lots helped me in my first year. Outside counseling is a must-do for me. Someone who is not in my personal circle. There is a lot you can do without spending heaps of money. The need for change has to overcome the want of doing nothing.
Support to you.

Dee74

Hi JP

That sounds a lot for one persons plate.

I realise money is tight but have you access to any counselling or therapists, even a good Doctor- sometimes it helps to talk this stuff through to give you a little respite - you might even find face to face support groups to help?

D

Astro

That is a lot to take on JP. My father was a borderline hoarder, when he progressed into dementia and I moved him into a nursing home I had the responsibility of cleaning out and selling his home, it was a lot of work and it saddened me. What I did realize though is that recovery prepared me for that, it gave me the fortitude and resolve to push through it until completion, and to stay sober in spite of the challenge.

You're not alone, many people have to go through this. I do believe it's an honor to have our parents open their homes to us, and for us to help with the cleaning. Get away when you need a break. I had to keep reminding myself that everything in life is temporary, these situations pass.

NOWisNOW

awareness of our circumstances is actually the 1st real step towards change...
in my relative situation it has worked best for me to pick a fire and put it out, figuratively that is, lives are like ocean liners or aircraft carriers there's no plausible way to stop and turn on a dime but the momentum has to be redirected. No easy task for even the most together people, Lord knows ones like us who struggle against multiple factors it's even more daunting. So i recommend pick something that you feel you can actually change and improve, stick with it till you're satisfied... then take on the next project, small victories do add up and will change the course of your/our lives. Don't let setbacks discourage you, the very act(s) redirecting your reality will eventually become it's own force...
Peace and strength
=^,^=

red3215

Finding a good therapist would be ideal. I also found self therapy through writing is helpful. Write out a few paragraphs (or pages) of all the things you're unhappy about, or want to vent about, as rapidly as you can without holding anything back.
Then read what you wrote as if it was someone else's life you're reading. It's amazing how much I uncover by doing this. You might be unhappy about things you aren't even aware of that could be holding you back.