quakerfan

As well as dealing with substance abuse, I also have mental health problems, diagnosed bi-polar at 20 and emotionally unstable personality disorder at 27 and was pretty much in denial about it till my early 30's. I accepted it the very first time I met my now wife on our first date in 2011 as she picked up instantly on my nervousness and anxiety and the fact I seemed paranoid and could not maintain eye contact for more than a minute or 2 at a time, she knew this because I had similar behaviour traits to her mother and sister. Anyway, she has never judged me, she has done nothing but love me.

What has bothered me is snidy comments behind my back, people quick to think they know what is wrong, and what is worse, my 6yo daughter is having to stand up for me to her classmates in school, because somr people have decided to label me as 'just another junkie' making fun of the fact I had to get 6 front teeth taken out for reasons nobody but me knows.

Also, the school have picked up on my mental health problems and if I so much as fart in the playground when I drop my daughter off there on the phone wanting to know the in's and out's.

It seems like nobody cares, I am just somebody elses problem, I have been a client of my local crisis team, for about a fortnight, I ended up in a Police Cell after an accident at home a few weeks back when I was sitting on the back doorstep, fell back through it and caught my wifes wrist and head and the police pushed for a charge of GBH w/Intent, which woild have seen me sent to prison for 6 months at least.

I am sick of the same old judgments, I have heard it all before, I aint 'just another junkie' or nutcase, I dont believe in beating women either.

People dont seem to give 2 f**** about what I achieved as a kid, I did a lot of work around the United Nations Conventions on Childrens Rights, I helped in putting together every child matters, that I brought about change for young people locally and nationally, that I was once considered an expert voice in childrens rights, and that I have entertained amd hosted politicians and top people in the young peoples advocacy business, and that I managed to do most of this before my 18th Birthday.

I wont ramble on too much or blow too much smoke up my rear end, I am just fed up of being judged ...

Rant over

Astro

I'm glad you're here, welcome. My experience in recovery has been putting my past behind me and moving forward with my head held high, no matter what others thought of me. Not always easy, but I do pretty well these days.

NYCDoglvr

Are you in a recovery program? I've been dealing with depression throughout my sobriety (26 years) and find very little judging in the rooms of AA. There are lots of folks with dual diagnosis (alcoholism & bipolar/depression), lots of love and warmth. Society can indeed be brutal which is why the welcoming rooms of AA are a life-saver.