How to help my brother with depression?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
How to help my brother with depression?
Hello SR! I am a regular over on the friends and family of substance abusers. As a Mom of a recovering heroin /meth addict, I have learned SO MUCH about codependency and enabling.
I now have another loved one who has slipped into a very deep depression. He lost his best friend of 35 years to an accidental overdose 2 months ago. My brother lives with us, and is shutting down entirely. He goes to work and then comes home and sleeps over 16 hours a day.
He won't open up to me or my husband about this. When he does stay awake, he is drinking to excess and gets blackout drunk.
I love him very much but really don't know what to do since he doesn't want to admit he needs help.
I suggested he see a counselor and his doctor, but he has been very indecisive. It's like he wants to feel miserable (maybe he has survivors remorse?).
Does anyone have any advice?
I now have another loved one who has slipped into a very deep depression. He lost his best friend of 35 years to an accidental overdose 2 months ago. My brother lives with us, and is shutting down entirely. He goes to work and then comes home and sleeps over 16 hours a day.
He won't open up to me or my husband about this. When he does stay awake, he is drinking to excess and gets blackout drunk.
I love him very much but really don't know what to do since he doesn't want to admit he needs help.
I suggested he see a counselor and his doctor, but he has been very indecisive. It's like he wants to feel miserable (maybe he has survivors remorse?).
Does anyone have any advice?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
If he has a job, why can't he live in his own place? It doesn't sound healthy for you or your husband to have to deal with a blackout drunk.
Same deal as with your son- you can't fix it. Take care of your own sanctuary and give him 30 days to find an apartment or living situation that isn't at your house.
Same deal as with your son- you can't fix it. Take care of your own sanctuary and give him 30 days to find an apartment or living situation that isn't at your house.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Hi Bimini, he has lived with us for 3 years and has always paid rent and fair share of costs. Thanks for the advice, but that isn't what I am interested in doing. I agree blackout drunk is awful. That is not common and is why I am so concerned.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Grief is a funny thing, and everyone processes loss differently. I have suffered depression, and I am currently going through the grief of losing my husband nearly 2 years ago.
I can't really advise you, but perhaps he would be open to grief counseling? I have found it to be helpful for me.
I can't really advise you, but perhaps he would be open to grief counseling? I have found it to be helpful for me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Thank you Seren! He hasn't been open to anything except sleeping, however this morning he decided to walk to work (which is something we talked about for months since its a great exercise and way to lose weight!). I am hoping he is up and about when I get home tonight so I can talk to him. I know he is not coping very well, but I am hoping a non pushy ear to listen and then bounce some ideas off will assist him.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Just an update: He is "faking it until he makes it". He has stayed awake every day this week, and is spending more time with us. I pray that this last week when he was sleeping all the time is due to the grief he has and not a more lasting depression. I told him how happy I was to see him and I am not babying him or nagging on this topic. thank you for the support SR family.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
