Extreme Fatigue
Extreme Fatigue
Hi all,
I'm not a newcomer to recovery, and work an AA program. I got a lot out of my step work. The problem is, though, that I have been extremely fatigued for so very long.
My husband thinks it's depression/anxiety but I don't really feel that depressed or anxious. Then again, sometimes I think I have been depressed and anxious for so very long (like forever) that maybe it's just my norm and I don't see it as depression/anxiety.
My fatigue is just really awful. I hate it. I have zero energy to do anything. I feel like I'm walking through muck and everything is at a snail's pace. Sometimes coffee perks me up but I don't like to have to rely on caffeine.
I can't seem to structure my day. I seem to jump from one thing to the next. I try to read but I can't focus. Things like washing the dishes or hanging laundry take so much energy. I tend to waste time on the computer but even when I read something I want to read, I can't focus. There's just too much out there on the internet. I pin stuff to read later but I never do. I can't seem to just lose myself in one thing. It's not ADDish though either. It's hard to explain.
I sleep fine, I don't have insomnia. But I do sleep a lot.
My memory is crap and I don't know why. Sometimes I feel brain damaged but I'm not.
I'm extremely unorganized, and I used to be very organized. I have little notes all over the place, notes all over my calendar, clothes all over the place. I just can't seem to muster the brain power to straighten up and get organized.
I seriously don't know what I do with my time.
Sometimes I think it's that my brain is just absolutely exhausted. Like it needs a rest. That all this really hard effort I made with my recovery and step work exhausted all of my reserves and energy. Like I need to recharge.
Or maybe I am still clinically depressed/anxious and am lying to myself because I don't want to face it or go on meds again that either make me feel flat, gain weight, or cause more fatigue.
The self-honesty and self-awareness that recovery took sure took a lot of me. It took me a long time to get through the step work. And I had a ton of anxiety through the step work and with my self-honesty/awareness. It's hard to explain here. I know it's not the norm. I wouldn't trade being on this side of the step work for anything, but it completely left me mentally and emotionally drained. So my gut is that that's what's caused this extreme fatigue. But trying to build a real life is just completely foreign right now. I used to do it, but it feels like it was a different life.
Does this make sense to anyone? I'm hoping someone from an outside perspective can tell me what I'm not seeing.
This certainly isn't how I want to live my life. I feel like I am just surviving but not actually living, if that makes sense.
I just want this crushing fatigue to go away. And I want the anxiety to stay away, that is draining and I certainly don't need that.
I've gone to the doctor and all my blood work is fine. But I wonder if I have Chronic fatigue syndrome or something like that.
I'm not a newcomer to recovery, and work an AA program. I got a lot out of my step work. The problem is, though, that I have been extremely fatigued for so very long.
My husband thinks it's depression/anxiety but I don't really feel that depressed or anxious. Then again, sometimes I think I have been depressed and anxious for so very long (like forever) that maybe it's just my norm and I don't see it as depression/anxiety.
My fatigue is just really awful. I hate it. I have zero energy to do anything. I feel like I'm walking through muck and everything is at a snail's pace. Sometimes coffee perks me up but I don't like to have to rely on caffeine.
I can't seem to structure my day. I seem to jump from one thing to the next. I try to read but I can't focus. Things like washing the dishes or hanging laundry take so much energy. I tend to waste time on the computer but even when I read something I want to read, I can't focus. There's just too much out there on the internet. I pin stuff to read later but I never do. I can't seem to just lose myself in one thing. It's not ADDish though either. It's hard to explain.
I sleep fine, I don't have insomnia. But I do sleep a lot.
My memory is crap and I don't know why. Sometimes I feel brain damaged but I'm not.
I'm extremely unorganized, and I used to be very organized. I have little notes all over the place, notes all over my calendar, clothes all over the place. I just can't seem to muster the brain power to straighten up and get organized.
I seriously don't know what I do with my time.
Sometimes I think it's that my brain is just absolutely exhausted. Like it needs a rest. That all this really hard effort I made with my recovery and step work exhausted all of my reserves and energy. Like I need to recharge.
Or maybe I am still clinically depressed/anxious and am lying to myself because I don't want to face it or go on meds again that either make me feel flat, gain weight, or cause more fatigue.
The self-honesty and self-awareness that recovery took sure took a lot of me. It took me a long time to get through the step work. And I had a ton of anxiety through the step work and with my self-honesty/awareness. It's hard to explain here. I know it's not the norm. I wouldn't trade being on this side of the step work for anything, but it completely left me mentally and emotionally drained. So my gut is that that's what's caused this extreme fatigue. But trying to build a real life is just completely foreign right now. I used to do it, but it feels like it was a different life.
Does this make sense to anyone? I'm hoping someone from an outside perspective can tell me what I'm not seeing.
This certainly isn't how I want to live my life. I feel like I am just surviving but not actually living, if that makes sense.
I just want this crushing fatigue to go away. And I want the anxiety to stay away, that is draining and I certainly don't need that.
I've gone to the doctor and all my blood work is fine. But I wonder if I have Chronic fatigue syndrome or something like that.
Hello Pathwaytofree,
I am also unutterably exhausted all the time.
I have iron-deficient anemia.
I am hypothyroid (low thyroid levels).
I have low vitamin D levels.
I am an insulin-dependent diabetic.
And now...I have been diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea.
All of these things conspire to make me dead dog, lead-in-my legs, can't begin to explain it....tired.
I encourage you to see your GP at your earliest convenience. It can't hurt, and it might help!
I am also unutterably exhausted all the time.
I have iron-deficient anemia.
I am hypothyroid (low thyroid levels).
I have low vitamin D levels.
I am an insulin-dependent diabetic.
And now...I have been diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea.
All of these things conspire to make me dead dog, lead-in-my legs, can't begin to explain it....tired.
I encourage you to see your GP at your earliest convenience. It can't hurt, and it might help!
Thanks for the reply. Actually yes I am at the tail end of perimenopause. I'm not taking any hormones for it. I tried to but it made me feel like a cranky teenager with PMS.
I've had symptoms if hypothyroidism for years but my thyroid labs from my GP's office come back normal. Both my mother and her mother had hypothyroidism. I sure wish I knew what I could do now to prevent it.
I'm eager to hear your thoughts and suggestions.
Hello Pathwaytofree,
I am also unutterably exhausted all the time.
I have iron-deficient anemia.
I am hypothyroid (low thyroid levels).
I have low vitamin D levels.
I am an insulin-dependent diabetic.
And now...I have been diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea.
All of these things conspire to make me dead dog, lead-in-my legs, can't begin to explain it....tired.
I encourage you to see your GP at your earliest convenience. It can't hurt, and it might help!
I am also unutterably exhausted all the time.
I have iron-deficient anemia.
I am hypothyroid (low thyroid levels).
I have low vitamin D levels.
I am an insulin-dependent diabetic.
And now...I have been diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea.
All of these things conspire to make me dead dog, lead-in-my legs, can't begin to explain it....tired.
I encourage you to see your GP at your earliest convenience. It can't hurt, and it might help!
Thanks for your reply. I'm sorry you experience these things.
My GP recently checked my blood work and everything is normal. My vitamin D level is borderline normal. I'd love to get it higher. However, my GP doesn't want me taking more than 2000mg a day because too much D can cause problems. That being said, years ago when my gyn put me on prescription D to raise my very low numbers, I felt amazing.
I don't have any other issues that you mentioned. I am sorry you are dealing with them. I hope you feel better soon.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 135
Hi pathwaytofree,
I could have written your post, minus the stepwork. Though I have been in some heavy therapy, which also takes a lot out of a person. I have been taking Topamax to prevent migraines, so I've been wondering if this is causing my extreme fatigue and blah-ness.
I don't believe I am nearing menopause. This exhaustion and lack of motivation is ridiculous though. I can hardly complete household chores.
I too wonder if I am extremely depressed and don't know it. And I really don't want to take any more medication. I would like to lose weight (if I could find the energy to exercise more.) I do get out and walk some, I force myself, but it is a chore. I feel better afterward. It takes me all day to accomplish simple tasks.
My labs were all fine the last they were checked. Maybe this is PAWS related for me, or the Topamax, or depression. Or maybe it is chronic fatigue syndrome?!
I could have written your post, minus the stepwork. Though I have been in some heavy therapy, which also takes a lot out of a person. I have been taking Topamax to prevent migraines, so I've been wondering if this is causing my extreme fatigue and blah-ness.
I don't believe I am nearing menopause. This exhaustion and lack of motivation is ridiculous though. I can hardly complete household chores.
I too wonder if I am extremely depressed and don't know it. And I really don't want to take any more medication. I would like to lose weight (if I could find the energy to exercise more.) I do get out and walk some, I force myself, but it is a chore. I feel better afterward. It takes me all day to accomplish simple tasks.
My labs were all fine the last they were checked. Maybe this is PAWS related for me, or the Topamax, or depression. Or maybe it is chronic fatigue syndrome?!
Hi pathwaytofree,
I could have written your post, minus the stepwork. Though I have been in some heavy therapy, which also takes a lot out of a person. I have been taking Topamax to prevent migraines, so I've been wondering if this is causing my extreme fatigue and blah-ness.
I could have written your post, minus the stepwork. Though I have been in some heavy therapy, which also takes a lot out of a person. I have been taking Topamax to prevent migraines, so I've been wondering if this is causing my extreme fatigue and blah-ness.
I'm sorry you're experiencing this, too. Yes that's a good point too--therapy takes a lot of a person. I don't know about Topamax causing fatigue--that'd be a good question to ask the Pharmacist or your doctor, though. I do know occasionally my fatigue is related to migraines or a "migraine hangover".
This exhaustion and lack of motivation is ridiculous though. I can hardly complete household chores.
I too wonder if I am extremely depressed and don't know it. And I really don't want to take any more medication. I would like to lose weight (if I could find the energy to exercise more.) I do get out and walk some, I force myself, but it is a chore. I feel better afterward. It takes me all day to accomplish simple tasks.
My labs were all fine the last they were checked. Maybe this is PAWS related for me, or the Topamax, or depression. Or maybe it is chronic fatigue syndrome?!
I don't know anyone personally with CFS and unfortunately there's no blood test for that.
Does your therapist think you're depressed?
Good luck to you. Hopefully we'll figure this out!!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
My first year of menopause was Armageddon. I have never felt more exhausted or strung out...it's not a coincidence that was my last year of drinking. Something had to give...you're a step ahead on that score, so good for you!
I googled the side effects of Topomax and the first thing listed was tiredness.
Time to march back into your MD's office and get an evaluation, yes? You may be far more sensitive to meds right now because of the hormonal imbalance. I certainly was and have stayed that way...I always ask to start with a quarter dose of any new medication for that reason.
Sending you a hug!
I googled the side effects of Topomax and the first thing listed was tiredness.
Time to march back into your MD's office and get an evaluation, yes? You may be far more sensitive to meds right now because of the hormonal imbalance. I certainly was and have stayed that way...I always ask to start with a quarter dose of any new medication for that reason.
Sending you a hug!
MY experience with fatigue- diagnosed with Chronic Stress fat/synd years ago (for all that is was worth), anxiety/clinical depression, Post nearly fatal burns- c-PTSD. My goal every day- is to do ANYTHING...from washing dishes and having a shower ..4 hours activity. I sleep badly too. For me- SLOWLY...
I saw a doc- am on an anti-d for neuropathic pain/sleep and depression- one a day...it has also lessened anxiety- which I though was mental, by 40%. I NEED the med. I levels the playing field.
- I remember the Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired/thirsty, Sad/stressed thing. If any of those- I fix it- or get some one to help me fix it. So it may mean a snack- a 10 minute nana nap and more water...LOTS of water.
I walk. Some days 4 hours, the next- 10 minutes. I keep pushing myself.
I do day time meetings- easier and good for social contact..
I see a psychologist and with CBT- work on my memory and problem solving. I keep a diary and write lists for everything. Email is good for this.
I am on a high protein , low carb diet...to level out my energy.
I paint- lots. ART- just to release pent up energy.
Empathy and support to you.
I saw a doc- am on an anti-d for neuropathic pain/sleep and depression- one a day...it has also lessened anxiety- which I though was mental, by 40%. I NEED the med. I levels the playing field.
- I remember the Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired/thirsty, Sad/stressed thing. If any of those- I fix it- or get some one to help me fix it. So it may mean a snack- a 10 minute nana nap and more water...LOTS of water.
I walk. Some days 4 hours, the next- 10 minutes. I keep pushing myself.
I do day time meetings- easier and good for social contact..
I see a psychologist and with CBT- work on my memory and problem solving. I keep a diary and write lists for everything. Email is good for this.
I am on a high protein , low carb diet...to level out my energy.
I paint- lots. ART- just to release pent up energy.
Empathy and support to you.
Sorry I've been procrastinating on my own thread because I'm not dealing with it. :-(
Thanks everyone for your responses. Time to be an adult, deal with it, and respond.
***
Hi Ariesagain!
It would be interesting to see if this crushing fatigue is actually due to hormones or what. I haven't hit the year mark for it to be true menopause yet.
Hmm well at least you have your answer? Although if it works, I personally would take tiredness over debilitating chronic migraines any time.
My doctor's on it. He thinks I need an increase in my antidepressants. He's thorough with blood work.
I didn't realize hormone imbalances make one more sensitive to meds? Interesting. I'm happy to say when I finally took my migraine medication, (in 2 years I only took it once before......stupid of me not to take it.......) it worked moderately okay and I didn't have side effects. But I am concerned how an increase in SSRI or change in SSRI might make me feel.
Thank you!!
Thanks everyone for your responses. Time to be an adult, deal with it, and respond.
***
Hi Ariesagain!
My first year of menopause was Armageddon. I have never felt more exhausted or strung out...it's not a coincidence that was my last year of drinking. Something had to give...you're a step ahead on that score, so good for you!
I googled the side effects of Topomax and the first thing listed was tiredness.
Time to march back into your MD's office and get an evaluation, yes? You may be far more sensitive to meds right now because of the hormonal imbalance. I certainly was and have stayed that way...I always ask to start with a quarter dose of any new medication for that reason.
I didn't realize hormone imbalances make one more sensitive to meds? Interesting. I'm happy to say when I finally took my migraine medication, (in 2 years I only took it once before......stupid of me not to take it.......) it worked moderately okay and I didn't have side effects. But I am concerned how an increase in SSRI or change in SSRI might make me feel.
Sending you a hug!
Thanks for your reply. What type of doctor diagnosed you with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? What do you mean "for all that it was worth)"? I sometimes wonder if I have c-PTSD but a therapist hasn't mentioned it. Oh my gosh, I am sorry to hear you suffered nearly fatal burns.
My goal every day- is to do ANYTHING...from washing dishes and having a shower ..4 hours activity. I sleep badly too. For me- SLOWLY...
I saw a doc- am on an anti-d for neuropathic pain/sleep and depression- one a day...it has also lessened anxiety- which I though was mental, by 40%. I NEED the med. I levels the playing field.
- I remember the Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired/thirsty, Sad/stressed thing. If any of those- I fix it- or get some one to help me fix it. So it may mean a snack- a 10 minute nana nap and more water...LOTS of water.
I walk. Some days 4 hours, the next- 10 minutes. I keep pushing myself.
I see a psychologist and with CBT- work on my memory and problem solving. I keep a diary and write lists for everything. Email is good for this.
I am on a high protein , low carb diet...to level out my energy.
I paint- lots. ART- just to release pent up energy.
Empathy and support to you.
Hi MindfulMan,
Thank you for your suggestion. I'm glad the CPAP machine helps you! I've heard that from another member in AA, too, once he got over the hurdles of using it.
I don't think I have sleep apnea because I don't wake up in the middle of the night, and I don't snore. I'll look into the other symptoms, though, because I never seem to wake up refreshed. Maybe I'm missing something.
I don't think I have sleep apnea because I don't wake up in the middle of the night, and I don't snore. I'll look into the other symptoms, though, because I never seem to wake up refreshed. Maybe I'm missing something.
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