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Hey guys

429 days here no alcohol.

Thought I'd post in mental health as it's mainly mental health issues that I feel limit me at present.

I've had a turbulent year with regards to anti depressants. I've been on 3 different ones, citalopram, venlafaxine and now sertraline and to be honest and unfortunately I'm still not really able to confidently say I'm "recovering" from depression, anxiety and intrusive thoughts.

The festive period is here and things seem to slow down for me, time stands still for a bit. I'm working on Christmas Day this year.

The difference this year is I am at work, this time last year I'd signed myself off sick and ended up being off for 4 1/2 months. I do not feel I'm myself anymore, my confidence is very very low and I've still got a lot of social anxiety at work and home life. The intrusive thoughts are present daily and I'm trying to implement what I learnt at the CBT sessions I've previously had. I'm binge eating at the moment and have been for to be honest on and off all year.

I haven't really got anyone in the "real world" I talk to about depression, anxiety or intrusive thoughts. The content of the intrusive thoughts makes it difficult to discuss with anyone. Someone who hasn't suffered would most likely interpret what I was talking about in the wrong manner, advise me and most likely make matters unintentionally worse. Besides, everyone has there own things to deal with and there own problems. This time of year magnifies how self absorbed everyone actually is most likely including myself to be honest.

I don't really know what to do next, I've had CBT and it didn't go so well second time around, last time I spoke to the GP they advised stay on the sertraline 100mg for a while (been 6 weeks at that dose so far). Work is no better.

This is my reality sober folks. I'm pleased I'm sober but I really don't feel I'm making much progress anywhere else

Hey Stewy, I'm sorry to hear were you're at. That's not a good place to be. I know I can't do anything to help, but know I'll be thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

Congratulations on 429 days!!

I have read your posts (not all). You mentioned relationship, anxiety and work issues.
There is a lot going on. I think you need to see the dr. They can check your meds to switch, increase and/or maybe add a supplement medication.
As far as your thoughts you should talk to your psychiatrist. I know some breathing exercises and mindfullness of the moment have helped me.
I realize many thoughts are preposterous and ludicrous. I think many people have silly thoughts. It depends how much weight you give them. If we dwell on them they will drag us down.

I do know my anxiety and depression have improved much since i have not been drinking.
I wish you the best. Keep your head up. You are moving in the right direction.

I hope 2016 will be better for your Stewy...sometimes the answer to these things is some really small change...I hope you find the missing bit of the jigsaw mate :)

D

Thinking of you bud

Day 429 is fantastic Stewy!! :You_Rock_

Hiya Stewy,

First of all congrats on the 429 days of sobriety - that is phenomenal. Second congrats on throwing so much (different meds, Docs and ABT) at your depression.

I'm 52 and have been dealing with depression since I was 18. However, everyone's depression is unique to the individual. I may have a totally different flavor of depression.

I hear you on this >>>>"The content of the intrusive thoughts makes it difficult to discuss with anyone. Someone who hasn't suffered would most likely interpret what I was talking about in the wrong manner, advise me and most likely make matters unintentionally worse. " As much as folks want to help, sometimes it just makes it worse.

I have developed a toolbox of tricks that help me deal with my depression and I sure hope you do too. It is a big big bummer that nothing has helped yet. Keep posting; if we can't help you, at least we can be present for your suffering.

I think responding and getting in touch is a massive help for me at the moment.

Thank you

Thanks for your kind words. The dr did actually advise me to remain on the sertraline same dose I'm on now for a while longer indicating that the body will not cope well with continuous changes to medication. I've been on 3 separate ones this year.

It is recognising a distorted thought, labelling it distorted and remembering that you are not your thoughts. This is what I need to keep in mind.

It's like I need to re-train my brain and adapt a more positive framework to work from.

I'm glad I'm sober for many many reasons though :)

Thank you Dee, gonna try finish off that jigsaw in 2016 :)

Stewy

Cheers wolf, merry Christmas

Thanks purpleknight

Thanks man, yeah I'm grateful for such a fantastic forum (SR). It is I feel much better than some of the ones I've visited that are specifically geared for intrusive thought, depression and anxiety. Like you say it is helpful people are present.

One thing though, I owe a hell of a lot to the folk here over this year I've had so much advice and support, perhaps in 2016 I'll be able to give some back :)

Yes I need to keep working on the toolbox, diet, exercise and staying in touch with people helps me. And spending time conversing- not necessarily about problems, just general. It helps normalise everything and reduces the chances of negative rumination which perpetuates these troubling conditions

Merry Christmas Stewy

Hi Stewy: my doc said the same thing about the problems of changing meds too much. It took me several tries to get the right medicines and then the right combo to battle both depression and anxiety. Hang in.

I never realized how depressed and anxious I was until I stopped drinking and my mind cleared. It has been a tough road and I am not there yet, but so much better with med help and no fogged mind from booze.

Congrats on what I hope is about 434 days now!

:You_Rock_

I had a dragging day yesterday. I really think I need a plan everyday for 3 pm. This is my armpit of the day.

Hang tough all.