I have borderline personality disorder and I am an alcoholic
 

4 years ago I was diagnosed with BPD. At the time the diagnosis gave me great comfort because it made sense of my suffering and all the pain I had caused the people around me. Today, I feel like it has left me branded and misunderstood by my loved ones. The common response I get is "you're not mentally ill" I take medication to cope with the anxiety but I am still left with crippling thought patterns and a hate for myself that runs so deep. I have tried to numb the pain with booze but it just makes everything worse the next day. I don't even know who I am anymore.

Any other borderlines out there?

I'm not a BPD but I wanted to welcome you to SR and encourage you to keep coming here for support.

I can tell you for sure that combining alcohol with any medication was a recipe for disaster for me, they don't mix well.

Sobriety and recovery programs have restored sanity to my life. They do work, but we have to work hard at our recovery.

Lunikk --

Here is a thread I started specifically about Borderline.

You are likely aware of much of information in it, but some of the newer research may or may not be of interest.

Several folks undergoing various stages and types of treatments posted in it, and that may give you some other perspectives and views.

Best to you.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...er-thread.html

I had a therapist suggest that I could have it about three years ago. The good news is, according to what I've read, it doesn't have to be a permanent condition. A good counselor should be able to help you lose this disorder, and sometimes people find it goes away on its own as they grow and mentally progress in other areas.

Escaping through alcohol is a quick fix that keeps you from dealing with it, and makes things worse in the long run. I've stayed in horrible situations for far too long because alcohol made me feel I had something to turn to, instead of seeking real solutions to my problems. Life can be hard but having alcohol addiction and BPD make any life much harder. Thankfully, these are both fixable conditions. Wishing you the best