Looking for ES&H
 

Not sure where to start this. Guess I should start by saying I'm looking for guidance and/or wisdom for my brother, and my family while we try to support my brother. Let me also say that he has only been diagnosed with ADHD and depression.

Over the last few months, his behavior has become more & more erratic, he has been delusional at times, and physically and verbally threatening to family members and others. We've all been urging him to get to a doctor to get help because it doesn't seem that the Ritalin and Zoloft he's taking is helping with these issues, plus he forgets to take them half the time & drinks also. My brother refuses to believe he has any problem other than the ADHD and depression.

During this time, my dad, who blames himself for so much of everything that has gone wrong, tries to "fix" everything for him. My parents joined a family support group for families dealing with mental illness. They told him a lot of similar things to what families dealing with addiction are told: not to enable, not to try to control, that the family member needs to "hit bottom" & face the consequences of his actions so he can be ready to get the help he needs.

I understand these things, and I agree that the enabling needs to stop, but I guess I'm not as sure that a person who is delusional or erratic, learns from consequences and/or "hitting bottom" in the same way as an addict, or anyone else might. I mean, if he's not seeing things in a realistic way, will he see that it's time to finally get help? He is in jail right now on assault charges and I can't help but hope that this will help him finally realize that he needs help.

This has been hard for all of us, but especially my brother and my dad, and I'm trying to learn more so I can offer more support.

Any thoughts or experience?

I'm a recovering alcoholic who has also been treated for a major depression most of my life. Personally I don't think someone who suffers from depression should "hit bottom" either. While alcoholism and depression are both mental illnesses they are different. An alcoholic hitting bottom sees that they can't drink any longer and must get help to stop. They see the consequences of drinking.

But when my depression gets worse, I'm not capable of rational thinking. In my "depression think" I believe life is hopeless and I'm the worst, most horrible person on earth. This is when I need a shrink to bring me out of the place with medication and therapy so I can see I need help.

This is my OWN experience with these two diseases, my opinion. I'm not a doctor.

Good luck!

When you are dealing with someone who is delusional, it's difficult to be sure.

His drinking on top of the medications is definitely not helping.

Is he getting any kind of medical attention/assessment while in jail?

Thank you for sharing your experience; you put into words what I was trying to say about someone who is not rational making rational choices. I don't know what will make my brother believe he should see a shrink....but I hope/pray everyday that he does ASAP.

He was very recently arrested and my dad talked to a person at the jail and told her that he was on medication and needed a mental health help. They transferred him to a medical facility for inmates on medication, but he is not in the right place for an evaluation, apparently. My dad is calling again tomorrow to see if that can happen. It's hard also because my bro is in a big city hundreds of miles away & my dad doesn't feel everyone has been as helpful as he'd hoped for.

I totally agree about the drinking & hope that now that he can't, and he will at least be given his meds every day, that some of sort of clarity will come back to him. He was sooooo.....manic(?)...he couldn't stop thinking about the things that he was obsessed with or control his impulses.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Hopefully some clarity will return with the absence of alcohol.

Please keep us updated on how things are going, okay? :)

I will....and thank you.

If he's going to court in the future you might see if you can give the judge a letter (the more letters the better) telling him that he has psychiatric problems and needs help. My family did this for a drug addict. They had a facility for inmates with drug problems and he was sent there. The judge did read the letters and he heard us.

I'm bipolar and during depressions I did ask for help. After over 10 years I'm finally on a mood stabilizer that works. My daughter is my support person when it comes to my mental health. There aren't many people who can tell me I need to see the doctor when I'm not well, I get very defensive. It's very common for the mentally ill to self-medicate. Another thing you can do is tell the police that he's mentally ill if he's arrested again. They might take him to the hospital for a psych evaluation.

We did write a letter and it really seems to have helped. Thank you! :)
He has had a psychiatric evaluation, and he is on new medication. He is diagnosed as bipolar, with manic depression and narcissism, which we are trying to learn about. It seems that people in the system really need an advocate working for them, especially when they are not able to ask for what they need. He is not yet asking for help for mental illness, but through the system we have been able to communicate his needs. We are in contact with his nurse, his psychiatrist, his public defender, and a mental heath advocate.

He is still up/down. Some days he DEMANDS to be bailed out OR ELSE and can't seem to decipher reality vs. delusion. Some days he seems more like "my brother". One day at a time.....

Do you know if your brother is having hallucinations? Is their any history of schizophrenia in your family? The sad thing is that many family members of schizophrenics will go months or even years without realizing that their schizophrenic loved one is having hallucinations. It is generally a source of shame for the afflicted, and it's very hard for a schizophrenic to tell someone "I'm hearing voices".

I luckily don't suffer from any major mental illness, but I have studied it a lot as I'm a premed student. Furthermore I have experienced schizophrenic states in the past (drug induced with hallucinogenics), so I have a very deep understanding of psychosis.

What are the exact nature of these delusions you talk about?

Has he been diagnosed with any mental illnesses before? The answers to these questions will help me understand your brother's condition a little better.

Keep in mind that schizophrenia isn't the only mental illness which will cause delusions and possible hallucinations. Schizoid, schizotypal, delusional, and avoidant personality disorders can all cause conditions similar to schizophrenia. Bipolar disorder (in particular, the manic stages) and schizoaffective disorders can also cause delusions, as well as psychotic states and hallucinations.

Thanks Nightsd ~ my grandfather had been diagnosed with schizophrenia. My brother would see pictures or messages from people and think they were "hidden messages" that he needs to figure out. For tonight tho, I'm trying to process what's going on lately.

The good news is my whole family is involved now. The not-so-good news is that now that he is home, he is slipping back into unhealthy habits. He agreed that he needed to make some changes on coming home - things are still in the air with regard to the court case - but so far has not followed through with making healthy choices for himself. My dad is still trying to fix. And to be honest, as much as I love my brother, I am so worried about my dad and the effect this is having on him daily.