Freedom1990

If I wasn't on 15 mg, I'd just discontinue on my own, but this is the second time to increase the dose, and I'm afraid to withdraw without medical guidance. I have to call the psychiatrist next week to check in and will talk to him then.

Like I said, it may be the meds, it may not. My mother was diagnosed years ago with type 2 diabetes, so I was at risk.

I'll be seeing my regular physician after I am off of the abilify and have the test run again for diabetes.

I've really struggled with the diagnosis of diabetes, and have gone from depression, to denial, to anger, and just all over the place. I have enough health issues to deal with as it is.

Self care is difficult with depression, and now I have the added stress of adjusting my dietary habits and keeping track of proteins vs. complex carbs, yada yada yada, and it's quite a chore.

Freedom1990

Checked in with my psychiatrist's nurse as ordered, and the psychiatrist is out on vacation until next Friday.

I told her today we probably need to switch antidepressants, and about the only one I haven't tried is wellbutrin. I've been on the Cymbalta for a few years now and I think it's quit working.

Frustrated and depressed. Ugh.

nandm

I hate how it seems to never fail that once we find something that seems to be working it is only a temporary thing. So many anti-depressants have worked great for me for periods of time some even a year or so but eventually for me they have all at some point just stopped working. I am not sure why this seems to happen but it is frustrating.

Maybe you will be fortunate enough that the next one you try will continue to work for a long time.

stanleyhouse

I relapse into depression, sometimes I crawl out of it and I assume it is situational but when it lasts my doctor raises my dosages. I guess I'm lucky I haven't changed meds. It sounds like I don't want to go down that road.
I'm sorry you all are having a hard time.
SH

Freedom1990

I've been on the Cymbalta for around 3 years now, so I consider it a positive experience to have lasted that long! It's the only antidepressant I've been on without side effects, which is why I hate to try something different.

Freedom1990

I am so sorry you are struggling with this, and I understand sleep deprivation.

I've been on remeron for some time now, which was working very well not only in helping me fall asleep, but stay asleep. As it is now, I'm waking up 4-6 times a night, and am feeling quite exhausted.

Hoping you find what works for you and get some sleep dear!

Freedom1990

Wendy, I will be praying that you get your sleep issues resolved. I know that sleep deprivation affects me in many ways, including triggering migraines. It's a miserable way to live. Keeping you in my thoughts, dear!

nandm

Thank you for your opinion and perspective. Your perspective is not one I can believe. I do not believe that there is a conspiracy going on with all the doctors, medical professionals and pharmaceutical companies. My own experiences do not correlate with yours. I worked as a professional in the medical field for 20 years and never saw any signs of a conspiracy going on. What I have seen is way too many people suffering from very real mental illness. Not something that one can just think away. Not something that is cured because one doesn't take meds, the majority of the time stopping meds only exacerbates the symptoms of the illness. Not something that gets better with time. What I have seen are some very real people who want to help others.

Freedom1990

I had a bit of a boost in my mood yesterday when I was asked to come in for a job interview. It got me out of self and focusing on the interview and the environment. Now it's the waiting game, and I find the fear, self-doubt and depression all creeping back in. I need a job so badly, and I just don't want my mind to run with the "what ifs" and yet it is. What a struggle today! I have "If this is what the universe wants for you, it will be so" taped up right in front of me and I'm reading it over and over.

It's hard to feel good about self without being gainfully employed, even if it is part-time.

JimE

Hi Freedom1990, I wish you the best ofluck with the interview coming up. Those are stressful things, waiting and wondering how it will go. The anticipation gets my head running too, kind of like stagefright. That saying concerning the universe is s good one!

Freedom1990

Thanks Jim. I wasn't very clear on my posting, and I apologize for that. I had the interview yesterday, and now am waiting to hear back on the job. That's what is getting to me!

nandm

I hate the anxiety that waiting on something like that creates. I do hope that you hear back soon and things go well. Take care in the meantime and don't let it stress you too much

Freedom1990

Thanks so much! I find my mind wandering to what I could have done better at the interview, did I come off distant, blah blah blah. Letting go of the result is so hard!

I'm glad my therapist wanted to see me in two weeks as opposed to the month because I need the extra support right now.

Tomorrow my psych's nurse will talk to him about discontinuing the cymbalta and probably starting wellbutrin. I hate to change meds while looking for jobs but I can't take much more of the heavy depression. Something's got to give.

ClayTheScribe

That's great you're seeing a therapist. I've found drugs alone are a half measure. One book that has helped me in the past is The Mindful Way Through Depression. Right now I'm on lithium, Geodon and Effexor and while the Geodon "works," it has bad side effects and I have to take it at a specific time otherwise I'm all screwed up. I don't know which of the meds keeps me from getting to sleep without sleeping pills, but I plan to talk to my psych about that. I'm hoping to someday be med free and am looking into reiki right now. I did Wellbutrin and it worked but because it has a stimulant effect it made me more anxious, so watch out for that, especially if you have trouble sleeping.

Freedom1990

Thanks for the heads-up on the wellbutrin, Clay.

I'm a firm believer in therapy. Meds alone aren't the answer and I recognize that.

I'd just really like to get stabilized a bit better. It's nice when I get a prolonged period where an antidepressant works well, and such a disappointment when it becomes ineffective.

I'll just continue to take it a day at a time, and shave it down to smaller increments if need be!

ClayTheScribe

Something you might look into is a supplement called l-methylfolate (I take it as l-methionine). It is basically highly concentrated folic acid and has been used to boost the effectiveness of anti-depressants, particularly SSRIs and SNRIs. I take Effexor and that had worked for a long time, but not quite all the way and in fall 2009 I was experiencing a deep depression. I then started taking l-methionine and within two weeks I had a major lift in my depression that I've mostly been able to maintain through taking that supplement, as well as therapy and other supplements. You can get it at Vitamin Cottage or the vitamin store, or online (but then I would research the companies). You can also get it prescribed as Deplin, but that may be more expensive. Here's a study that talks about its effectiveness. I went on it after talking with my psychiatrist who hadn't heard about it. She said it'd be OK for me to try but to monitor if it had any bad side effects. I haven't noticed any side effects of it nor does it look like most people do. Nonetheless, I would talk to your doc first.

I also take 4800 mg of fish oil (2400 in the morning, 2400 at night), a B vitamin complex for energy and mood boost and 4,000 IU of D3 which helps my mood and to sleep at night. I think that all helps me to not struggle with depression as much as I did before, and I'm sure my meds have something to do with it too haha.

Freedom1990

I've got fish oil and other supplements that I keep forgetting to take, Clay! I need to get started back on those and will certainly check into the concentrated folic acid. Thanks again for your support and suggestions.

ClayTheScribe

With my meds and supplements, I have so many pills to take every day, I got a pillbox for my morning pills. (Now I just gotta get one for my night pills). It saves me a few minutes each morning of having to open each bottle, which can be especially bad when I'm in a rush, which is usually a lot since I tend to get up at the last minute haha.

nandm

Have you had your vitamin D levels checked? Recent research suggests that there is a link between vit D deficiency and depression. Might be worth talking to your doctor about. I know I was extremely deficient and now take 4000iu a day just to keep me at a "normal" level. I do think that it has helped somewhat with the depression but has not resolved it. I am of the belief that I need to be open to anything that might help give me some relief.

Also I have found it really useful to use "medi-sets" that I set up every two weeks so I don't forget what meds I need to take each day. I keep all my meds in a bin and my vitamins with a list of what I take at each time of day. It is the best way for me to do it since I take meds 3 times a day. The hardest thing for me is to remember to take them but I keep the next set of meds box on the counter until I take them then pull the next one up that way I can easily know if I have taken my pills when they are due.

I hope you find something useful out of my ramblings...lol

Freedom1990

Never had my vit D levels checked, but I'll ask next time I'm in for labs (I go every 3 months)!

I need to get another pill dispenser as I have a double-sided one for AM and PM on my regular meds, and most of those supplement pills are pretty big! I'm putting that on my list of "needs" for my next check, and then I have no excuse for forgetting the supplements.