Shevrard

I went back several pages and didn't see anything about this subject, so please forgive me if this is repetitive.

I was wondering if there are any others here with ED's and are also struggling with drug/alcohol addiction?

For many years my whole identity has been wrapped up in being thin and "fit". I spent at least 4 hours a day working out at the gym. Little did all my friends at the gym know that I starved myself all day and then stopped off for a box of wine and a ton of junk food on the way home from workout classes. As soon as I got home I would drink, eat, vomit and repeat until all the wine and food was gone.

A few years ago I moved out of state. Shortly after moving I ruptured my esophogus during a purge and nearly died. Since then I have stopped purging because I am terrified of rupturing my esophogus again. But I have not been able to stop the drinking and binging and have put on about 60 lbs. About 30 of those pounds I have put on *just* in the last 6 months after I went off of medications for depression, anxiety and insomnia (cymbalta, klonopin & ambien). I am miserable and I hate to say that right now my #1 motivation for quitting drinking alcohol is to lose this weight.

I am afraid this is not a good enough reason and that even if I can stay sober and lose this weight eventually I will go back to my old ways.

I was wondering if anyone else here also struggles with an Eating Disorder along with an addiction to alcohol or drugs.

Shevrard

Also, I should mention I had a baby since moving here too which also contributed to weight gain and cuts down significantly on the time one can spend being a gym rat!! Not that it matters, because the weight that I have gained has turned me into a virtual hermit (I was actually diagnosed with agoraphobia) because I am so humiliated and ashamed to be seen in public being so fat, even by strangers.

misamisa

Long before I ever drank I had food issues. I was obese as a teenager because of binging and compulsive eating (I also purged, but not enough to lose weight). In an effort to take control I lost over 100 pounds and in the space of a year went from severely overweight to anorexic. I struggled with anorexia for over a decade and eventually got to a normal weight though I remained obsessed with counting calories, controlling my food intake and exercising daily. It was a very grim, regimented and lonely life. About 2 year ago I made the brilliant discovery that if I got drunk I wouldn't be obsessed with what I ate, how thin I was. I started drinking daily and before I knew it I had a whole other problem. I'm currently about 47 days sober, unfortunately my obsession with diet and exercise has returned full force since I stopped drinking and I find myself leading a very rigidly structured life with lots of anxiety about the weight I put on while drinking.

Sober Recovery has a forum for eating disorders.

Shevrard

Hi there, yes I just saw that. I did look over the forums for such a place but I apparently missed it! Thank you for telling me. If someone could move this to the appropriate forum I would appreciate it! Thanks.