depression and ptsd
 

i've always had difficulties with my mental health. At 15, I was diagnosed with major depression and PTSD. In my early 20s, I started drinking in college and now have been escaping for 14 years. Today is day 16 of sobriety.
It's all hard because even though I've stopped the drinking, I still have all of this anxiety and depression that one would normally have after putting off feelings for so long but also my pre-drinking struggles with PTSD and depression. I take meds, see a therapist, but when I feel really bad, I don't know how to reach out to anyone. Today I was working and I thought to God, "Just let me go now. I'm tired, even without the drinking." I thought about talking to someone, anyone, and I realized that there is no one I feel I can reach out to in my everyday life. I hate feeling misunderstood. I hate feeling alone when I am around so many people. I hate the bad dreams and sadness. I hate that "wanting to die" comes into my head more than I can admit.

i also struggle with grief and loss...too much to go into. I was hoping that once I finally made a committment to sobriety that I would begin to see life differently. I know it's only been 16 days but this pain is overwhelming.

Welcome to SR, price. People here do care. don't give up....be extra gentle with yourself
today. You are a worthwhile and worthy person. It does get better.

Price i feal for you i realy do.i also suffer from dipresshion and no more than i would like about grief and loss it takes time to get your emotions back in order
but it gets better ..

depression and ptsd
 

Hi price, :grouphug:

I could have written this post 40 years ago & again several times since then.
I would let the losses & heartbreak build up inside me until I was ready to explode. I quit my medications so I could drink every day after work.

It took a long time to quit denying I needed help but I finally went to the local Mental Health Clinic & got help for my Depression/Anxity, & Alcoholism.
I wanted to be sober more than anything in the world & just for myself. I started AA Meetings & had Counseling for my Depression/Anxiety. :c029:

It worked for me this time & is still working. I use the Serenity Prayer more than once or twice a day to help others with my prayers when they are going through hard times, as well as myself. :day6


kelsh

Hey, I'm someone with PTSd and depression as well. I go to open support groups that my counselor suggested. It gives me some security and contacts that I can call when things aren't about my drug use. You could always ask your therapist where and when the support groups are for your issues. Even if there isn't a PTSD specific one in your area there will probably be a grief/loss support group available.

Good Luck,
Chavo