Bi-Polar.. or Psychopath?
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Bi-Polar.. or Psychopath?
Hello...
I've been on this forum for awhile, under friends and family of substance abusers.
I originally joined because my now ex was popping pills.. he stopped that.. so I thought maybe he's an alchoholic... well he slowed down on that..
So now I think he's either bi-polar, or a sociopath.. or both?
I don't have much experience with either, so I'm looking for personal opinions and stories. I seek guidance because while he's my ex, it's a constant battle to fight him off. He's begging me everyday to take him back, with wishful promises, and after I say no one too many times, he flips out, calls me names and says to F*ck off.
The cycle just repeats itself. I'm caught in the middle, because I do love him.. and I have hope for him. He's in denial of anything being wrong. Said he's tried therapy, and he learned in that, that he's a "good man" and he no longer needs help..
Umm. Hmm.
I've been on this forum for awhile, under friends and family of substance abusers.
I originally joined because my now ex was popping pills.. he stopped that.. so I thought maybe he's an alchoholic... well he slowed down on that..
So now I think he's either bi-polar, or a sociopath.. or both?
I don't have much experience with either, so I'm looking for personal opinions and stories. I seek guidance because while he's my ex, it's a constant battle to fight him off. He's begging me everyday to take him back, with wishful promises, and after I say no one too many times, he flips out, calls me names and says to F*ck off.
The cycle just repeats itself. I'm caught in the middle, because I do love him.. and I have hope for him. He's in denial of anything being wrong. Said he's tried therapy, and he learned in that, that he's a "good man" and he no longer needs help..
Umm. Hmm.
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
"Said he's tried therapy, and he learned in that, that he's a "good man" and he no longer needs help.."
I'm sure you'll agree that THAT's hysterical!
Ultimately, I don't think it matters. It's not our job to diagnose or place them in a "box". It's been my experience that most of us don't fit neatly in a box anyway. We just get labeled the closest title. It's not even our job to tell them they need help. Maybe go No Contact. Write him a sianara letter.
I'm sure you'll agree that THAT's hysterical!
Ultimately, I don't think it matters. It's not our job to diagnose or place them in a "box". It's been my experience that most of us don't fit neatly in a box anyway. We just get labeled the closest title. It's not even our job to tell them they need help. Maybe go No Contact. Write him a sianara letter.
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That is just the start! He says the most ABSURD things.. and I feel bad for even laughing. I truly feel bad for him.. like, how's he even saying or thinking these things.
Well, I agree with what you're saying. I think I'm looking into this, because it's the best way for me to find closure. If I can figure.. something out, it will be easier not to cave in. I'm a serious co-dependent (which I am now working on), and I want to "help" him, or believe in him. It's very hard to stay firm.
I feel like.. if I can figure out that he's got serious issues going on, it will be easier to fight my temptation for him.
He doesn't suffer from mania though. just goes into frequent outbursts.. perhaps, a rageaholic? I dunno. I want some sort of understanding.
Well, I agree with what you're saying. I think I'm looking into this, because it's the best way for me to find closure. If I can figure.. something out, it will be easier not to cave in. I'm a serious co-dependent (which I am now working on), and I want to "help" him, or believe in him. It's very hard to stay firm.
I feel like.. if I can figure out that he's got serious issues going on, it will be easier to fight my temptation for him.
He doesn't suffer from mania though. just goes into frequent outbursts.. perhaps, a rageaholic? I dunno. I want some sort of understanding.
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Oh, I'm a hopeless codie! <wave>
Ya wrote:
"I feel like.. if I can figure out that he's got serious issues going on, it will be easier to fight my temptation for him."
I've been here. What happened to me in hindsight is that I tried to figure it out. But, instead of having it be a reason to let it go. My codie went into overdrive trying to figure out a way to manipulate him with my new found knowledge!
Anyway, as codependents, I think we perpetually date the same person only wearing diffwerent skin. We also tend to get involved with people who have personality disorders if we don't have them ourselves. So learning about what kind of person you're addicted to can, I think help, if we only use the knowledge for future avoidance. No need to bring it up to the other person necessarily.
By the way, I'm much better at giving advice than following it! But, I've been doing pretty good as of late.
Ya wrote:
"I feel like.. if I can figure out that he's got serious issues going on, it will be easier to fight my temptation for him."
I've been here. What happened to me in hindsight is that I tried to figure it out. But, instead of having it be a reason to let it go. My codie went into overdrive trying to figure out a way to manipulate him with my new found knowledge!
Anyway, as codependents, I think we perpetually date the same person only wearing diffwerent skin. We also tend to get involved with people who have personality disorders if we don't have them ourselves. So learning about what kind of person you're addicted to can, I think help, if we only use the knowledge for future avoidance. No need to bring it up to the other person necessarily.
By the way, I'm much better at giving advice than following it! But, I've been doing pretty good as of late.
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"But, instead of having it be a reason to let it go. My codie went into overdrive trying to figure out a way to manipulate him with my new found knowledge!"
Eeeek... You're right. Ugh. I'm so much better at being so, to the point, for others, but not myself as well.
I am trying to become aware of things, to avoid it in the future. I have a very healthy side too me, but I too, have (had) addictions, and I believe some sort of personality disorder. It's just a no-win situation for me. So, as I was saying.. if I stick to my healthy behavior/things.. then I may attract, eventually, the RIGHT person.. A healthier person.. mind and body.
Thank you
Eeeek... You're right. Ugh. I'm so much better at being so, to the point, for others, but not myself as well.
I am trying to become aware of things, to avoid it in the future. I have a very healthy side too me, but I too, have (had) addictions, and I believe some sort of personality disorder. It's just a no-win situation for me. So, as I was saying.. if I stick to my healthy behavior/things.. then I may attract, eventually, the RIGHT person.. A healthier person.. mind and body.
Thank you
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Okay, I will go check it out! Thank you.
Actually, the more I read on abuse/personality disorders - the more I see myself. While I know he's got issues.. I definitely see me in the descriptions too.
Actually, the more I read on abuse/personality disorders - the more I see myself. While I know he's got issues.. I definitely see me in the descriptions too.
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
<smile>
Don't be so hard on yourself! Put on the breaks! I'm a codependent. There's some stickies in the family and friends sections of alcoholics about us. Codie's hook up not with just alcoholics, but pretty much any sick person at all. Now, my sister is a dependent. She hasn't worked for a very long time and never learned to drive. So, she's very much dependent on others.
I have an inkling you're more like me!
Don't be so hard on yourself! Put on the breaks! I'm a codependent. There's some stickies in the family and friends sections of alcoholics about us. Codie's hook up not with just alcoholics, but pretty much any sick person at all. Now, my sister is a dependent. She hasn't worked for a very long time and never learned to drive. So, she's very much dependent on others.
I have an inkling you're more like me!
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Join Date: Mar 2010
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WOW, yeah, I'm not THAT dependent. I did start reading co-dependent no more. I'm halfway through. I haven't had a whole lot of time to devote to it, because of school. Schools almost over, so I plan to dive right in. I spend all day at work on this forum though.. so I'm discovery a whole lot.. about myself, recovery, co-dependency, addiction, abuse, everything!
So, how are you exactly...?
So, how are you exactly...?
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Me too, me too! I'm reading codependent no more, I'm doing a book study on it in the family and friends of A's section. Just find the last post and then you could get the links to the pevious chapters to see what people wrote about them.
I was in a 9 year marraige that was bad. I got sober, he didn't, I stayed two years. Until I found Alanon who gave me a proper @sskicking - Then *snap* just like that I gave him the boot. Then I immediately hooked up with "The one who got away" from my past. Made a pile 'ol pile of sh*t out of it of course!
I'm feeling good, today at least. I'm a recovering A so I'm stepping up that program which helps.
I was in a 9 year marraige that was bad. I got sober, he didn't, I stayed two years. Until I found Alanon who gave me a proper @sskicking - Then *snap* just like that I gave him the boot. Then I immediately hooked up with "The one who got away" from my past. Made a pile 'ol pile of sh*t out of it of course!
I'm feeling good, today at least. I'm a recovering A so I'm stepping up that program which helps.
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LOL! What exactly do you mean by this...
Okay, scroll down and see where it says "Tags" for this thread... It says
"anger, bipolar, crazy, psycho, sociopath"
Yep, that's me, depending on the day!
Okay, scroll down and see where it says "Tags" for this thread... It says
"anger, bipolar, crazy, psycho, sociopath"
Yep, that's me, depending on the day!
Everyone here is a huge inspiration!
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Originally Posted by Jenny1232 
LOL! What exactly do you mean by this...
Okay, scroll down and see where it says "Tags" for this thread... It says
"anger, bipolar, crazy, psycho, sociopath"
Yep, that's me, depending on the day!
Okay, scroll down and see where it says "Tags" for this thread... It says
"anger, bipolar, crazy, psycho, sociopath"
Yep, that's me, depending on the day!
This one is tagged: "anger, bipolar, crazy, psycho, sociopath"
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
OMG! I hope those tags don't follow me around. ;-)
I'm pretty much a codie got all the characteristics to a "T"!. I'm also a recovering A, I'm also a ACOA, I also have genetic psychiatric issues, and it seems I also fit the criteria of a "torchbearer" a type of Love Addict.
It's a wonder I'm freely walking around at all!
Ah, but I know I'm not alone. Besides, issues and all - I like me! :-)
I'm pretty much a codie got all the characteristics to a "T"!. I'm also a recovering A, I'm also a ACOA, I also have genetic psychiatric issues, and it seems I also fit the criteria of a "torchbearer" a type of Love Addict.
It's a wonder I'm freely walking around at all!
Ah, but I know I'm not alone. Besides, issues and all - I like me! :-)
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