Depressed and Frustrated :(
 

HI everyone.

I am almost 4 and a half years sober, and have been struggling with depression for as long as I can remember. For the past few, years though I have been ok and pretty stable and maintainted well with effexor. This most recent bout of depression has been really really bad. Crying all the time, for no reason, even at work, running into the bathroom to cry about nothing. It is bad enough for me to begin to see a psychiatrist again to try to figure out if my meds had stopped working or what. I guess my first sign of trouble should have been that it took her 4 visits to remember that i didn't have insurance and needed, when possible, medications that were affordable. I mean I have gotten to the point where I am willing to try anything, accept use of course, to feel better, so i was willing to pay for whatever meds she thought where necessary but if there was a less costly alternative I wanted her to keep that in mind, but she kept forgetting, instead of writing it down or something. I know I'm venting , im sorry
Today the most terrifying thing happened at my appointment. She told me, "ok i want you to 'experiment' with your meds, over the next two weeks, see what works for you" I have been so stupid. Here I am 4 months after the initial warning signs and I am on 2 anti depressants, a benzo for anxiety and an amphetamine for ADD. I am not even sure I have ADD!! I know that the med is very addictive and I take everything as directed of course, but I take it morning and afternoon and by the time I am on my way home from work I notice withdrawl symptoms!!!!!!!!!!!! I am terrified!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not to mention this was the third psychiatrist I tried, the other 2I tried I went to the first appt and didn't even make the second because they both seemed to have very little experience of working with people in recovery, this women says she has and now here I am. ::c021:


Can anyone relate? I am really scared. I know I need to find someone else, but I am so tired of the process. Either way I must do it,I know I must. Thanks for letting me share everyone

Hi Junipersky,

I´m sorry you are having such a bad time.

Do you have a doctor you can trust? Maybe it would be a good idea to talk things over with him or her.

It took me a long time to find a good therapist or psy, but please don´t give up hope. Keep sharing and consult a doctor who can help you with your medicine and give it time.

Congratulation on your sober time. Keep up the good work. :)

:grouphug:

Without giving medical advice, I think we can still give medication opinions? Afterall, there's enough commercials showing people skipping on the beach "change your life with _______ Ask your doctor How".

My doctor strongly thinks I have adult ADD (ya think?) Anyway, I was told flat out that I won't be able to take the medication that's currently out there. Perhaps I'm not extreme enough? Anyway, I had anxiety and that alone can mess with attention. So, I'm on Zoloft for depression and anxiety. I'm also on a mood stabilizer, Lamictal (Which is usually prescribed for epilepsy - funny how they figure stuff out. Epileptics all of a sudden being less moody. ;-)

Anyway, My doctor doesn't believe in labels for all her patients. Let's face it. The majority of us are ENIGMA'S. So I do not have an official diagnosis.

But, I'll say that since I've been properly medicated for over two years - I feel relatively NORMAL. I'm so relieved and only wished I started sooner. I have still maintained my own little weird type personality, but that's just who I am :-). Basically, when I feel now. It's usually appropriate for the situation. My reactions need some work! But, that's more of a behavioral thing for me.

If you've seen this psych doc for at least 4 visits now, and you feel that she/he isn't listening to you, can you see another doc? I know its not easy to start over, talking about the problems with someone new, but it sounds like this isn't the doc for you.

One thing I really appreciate about the doc I see is she always asks if I'm having trouble with paying for my medications, if its too costly, etc. I do have insurance so I don't have trouble with the copays, but I appreciate that she makes it a point to ask all her patients.

Also, many of the various drug companies now offer help with paying for the brand/more expensive medications. You have to fill out a form and then they will either help with the cost or decrease the cost.